Is it bad to to announce you are ill when you arrive

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I tend to shy away from AIBU but in this case I truly want to know if I am in fact being unreasonable. I have a crap immune system so tend to catch any bug going around. We invited friends round last night and it was only when they got here that we found out one has a streaming cold. If I was invited somewhere I would at least let the hosts know that I was ill (but would probably duck out so I wouldn't pass the germs on). My MIL used to do the same, invite herself round and then announce that she has just been ill with d&v. I hate being exposed to bugs if I can help it so maybe I am being unreasonable?!

That's awful Hollinhurst. You must find it so restrictive. It still makes me angry when I think of people saying I was worrying too much, when they'd visit my husband, when they were sick. I hate the way people play down contagious illnesses, because MOST people get over them quickly. The fact is, that the person you are talking to, when you have a cold, chest infection, don't get me started on measles, chickenpox, etc, may be a career for someone else who is immunosurpressed.

My youngest has SN and reacts very badly when ill.

That's awful Hollinhurst. You must find it so restrictive. It still makes me angry when I think of people saying I was worrying too much, when they'd visit my husband, when they were sick. I hate the way people play down contagious illnesses, because MOST people get over them quickly. The fact is, that the person you are talking to, when you have a cold, chest infection, don't get me started on measles, chickenpox, etc, may be a career for someone else who is immunosurpressed.

My youngest has SN and reacts very badly when ill.

I inject a bone marrow stimulant which raises my levels a little bit but the side effects are pretty crap!
But I work full time and have hobbies and exercise etc, it's just quite tiring. Also trying to explain to doctors...
"So you have neutropenia? Which type"
"AIN"
"But that's a kids disease"
"Yes.... "
"That can't be right, you must have it wrong"
"No, haematology just gave me a random diagnosis obviously"

See also the one who said "autoimmune? What causes that?"

Plimsolls you have summed it up better than me, I hope you and your baby are ok

If you host knows you have the history of health problems, then it would have been sensible of her to let you know, OP. If the guest knows, then they're a dick. Sorry you're having such a tough time and I hope you escape this cold. 💐

I don't think you are overreacting at all. Some people have respritory illnesses that mean they require extra care and even hospitalisation if they catch even a mild cold. Some may be on immunosuppressant drugs that mean they catch whatver is going around. Some may have a big exam coming up, or a holiday that being sick for would men they would miss. Some people provide necessary day-to-day care for people who are elderly, fragile or immunosuppressed and a cold would mean disruption to care arrangements. I had to have a conversation with someone at work once when I had a mild cold and I asked her if she'd prefer phone or in person - she thanksed me and said she'd prefer phone (she was recovering from cancer) because her immune system was suppressed. I usually ask anyone concerned if I am ill whether it bothers them. I've also declined shaking the hand of a person with a cold stating my reasons. I don't think I'm unreasonable at all and I think it's selfish to share the germs around.

I don't care if it's 'just a cold' I still don't want to catch one! A streaming cold is horrible, why would anyone want to pass that to someone else?
Op yanbu imo

Oh Hollinhurst that must be infuriating and a constant struggle. I think my post was perhaps more of a sign of annoyance, but even so, it's a worthwhile reminder that a sniffle for one person can be serious for another. My lovely dad has a constant risk of pneumonia so I try to keep away if I am ill

People don't realise or listen though. I look healthy and I don't have cancer therefore I'm fine

Hollinhurst that must be incredibly hard to cope with, sadly I suspect a lot of people (myself included) are unaware of a lot of the more 'hidden' illnesses

YADNBU. I'm not immunosuppressed but I don't like being ill obviously so get thoroughly pissed off when people merrily bring their germs to my door instead of doing the decent thing and rescheduling. I wouldn't dream of turning up to socialise with people at close quarters when I was ill, even with "just a cold". It's bloody miserable having a cold. Nobody else will thank you for passing it on. It's very bad manners IMO. Like they've just decided on your behalf that it doesn't matter if you're ill for the next week because you can't possibly have anything important planned that trumps their desire to attend your dinner party/playdate/meet up.

People can be so thoughtless. My DB turned up to visit DD for the first time when she was just home from hospital and announced that he had a chest infection. Wonderful. Came to see us again a couple of months ago and told us on arrival that he thought he was coming down with tonsillitis. Well then stay away you inconsiderate so and so because we don't bloody well want it!

Yanbu and I'm really surprised how many people think it's ok to turn up at someone's house with a cold!

Yanbu. It's selfish.

Same goes for those who cough in people's faces without covering mouths in public.

Everyone else gets a cold, I end up on steroids or in a&e because I can't breath. People really do need to realise that it's not 'just a cold' for everyone. Even if it is just a cold, why would anyone else want to catch it.

Of course you are not BU.
I hate being ill, and take great care not to pass germs on. I am a primary school teacher so get exposed to a lot of bugs, which is annoying, but inevitable, as it is unfeasible for most parents to keep their unwell children home, but I try to be really robust on hygiene, common sense and consideration in class, for everyone's sake. If my job wasn't so physically full on, and it was possible to have a couple of days sipping Lemsip with a box of tissues at the office, perhaps I wouldn't mind so much, but teaching small kids when you feel less than sparkling is a bitch.
My pet hate is when DCs' friends turn up ill to play dates. I so wish their parents would reschedule, because it feels too mean to vet and turn away at the doorstep . DC1 in particular is awful with any kind of infection in her system, messes with sleep, temperament, anxiety, the lot.

This is a tricky one, because when people cancel plans due to illness they are often not believed and privately thought of as being a bit flaky, so they might be inclined to come anyway and admit to being under the weather rather than let you down. I suppose it depends on the severity of the illness but in your case, if your friends and family all know you have a compromised immune system then they should just be honest and cancel.

I have ME. You are darn well not being unreasonable. It's a chronic illness. Your immunity is compromised. Just FYI. This is what I do:

Taking echinacea 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off (otherwise the body gets used to it and ignores apparently)
Taking vit d, massive doses right now as we are at the worst time of year because our natural supplies of vit d run out around Xmas assuming we've assimilated enough in the summer (nutri one with k2 is very good)
Drinking small amount apple cider vinegar (with the mother) this often kills colds. At the sign of the cold, drink a small amount in water 3/4 times a day. Get it from Amazon, I use braggs.

If the cold is a really bad one, I don't manage to kill it with acv, I'm guaranteed to get a cough - have one now. It goes to sinusitis quickly. This happens once or twice a year. I now have a nebuliser and saline solution (can buy nebuliser online/Argos, contact lense saline solution in supermarkets or make your own). Use the nebuliser 3 x/day circa 15 mins.

There is a lot of online information proving the effectiveness of saline solution for killing coughs, bronchitis, loosening excretions etc. Your dad should maybe try one. And I believe they should be given by the NHS tbh to people, who suffer ailments such as chronic bronchitis.

Next time I have a cold, I'm going to start using it earlier to see if I avoid the cough altogether as salt water gargling is also recommended for colds. Nebulising gets it into the nasal and chest cavities so even better.

YANBU. I take immunosuppressant medication and catch anything going. I have had to delay taking my medication as I currently have a cold, which my in-laws passed on when they visited last week. I've had more chest X-rays than I can remember as I struggle to shift coughs after a cold and I normally end up with a painful ear infection as well.

Most annoyingly, when my DD was born, a visitor announced he had a bad cold only once he was sat on our sofa

A normal cold wouldn't bother me. Although I will never forgive my mother in law inviting me and dh round for tea two days before our holiday of a lifetime ( delayed honeymoon) and not telling us his fill had a streaming cold. I nearly turned straight around when we got there . I was really ill for the first half of the holiday.

Some people are just massively inconsiderate and a bit selfish.
I missed my first ever mothers day thanks to my own mother. We'd gone to visit a relative to celebrate a birthday. My mum seemed a little off and quiet.
By the evening of that day I was suffering with a nasty D&V bug. The following day was mother's day and I couldn't go near my infant son incase I passed it to him.
Says my mum "Oh I was feeling better, I only had one bout of diahorea that morning." Argh!
She also gave it to my sister, her husband and others.
I gave her a very hard time about it and the message has got through, but I do know of others who wouldn't think twice about going to visit whilst in the midst of a sick bug and I know of someone who took her toddler granddaughter out on a shopping trip whilst the little girl was ill with chicken pox.
When it comes to colds, if you're in the really streaming stage it makes sense to stay home as all you're doing is spreading it about.

YANBU. I'm perfectly fit and healthy and like to stay that way. I absolutely hate being ill, I'm self-employed and and if I don't work I don't get paid. If I'm in known close contact with someone who has a cold, I'm at the hand gel constantly and stay as far away as possible. There's a chap in the office where I'm currently working who, in the 6 months I've been there, has had at least three full on comedy colds. It's revolting. I can't bear it.

It's just plain good manners to let someone know if you're pouring with snot. All those people who don't mind a cold, good for you, if you know the other person has a cold go ahead and catch it. Me, I find that it triggers my asthma and goes into my chest each and every time so I end up ill for bloody weeks. Yes I would rather cut down my socialising over winter to prevent colds than because I can hardly walk the length of myself for coughing and breathlessness.