This is about quite a few things, I'll try not to drip feed but I might forget something.
One thing was, mil was complaining about having cold sores, this was on the Thursday, one the Sunday she was at our house showering our baby with kisses. I should have said something there and then but I expected dh to as it's his mum.
After she'd gone I asked him to gently mention something to her as she might not have realised how contagious they are, or how dangerous they can be for babies.
His attitude was that his mum used to kiss him with cold sores and he's ok. He ended up telling m to fuck off. I showed him an article about a toddler that had been seriously ill for nearly two years after catching herpes from a relative with a cold sore, he promised he'd mention it but never has. I feel it should come from him because mil already think I'm fussy so will just be dismissive.
Another one was when mil came with another relative who was very ill with a stinking cold, bad throat, aches and pains, the lot. The baby was only a few weeks old and I was exhausted so last thing we needed was to catch a cold.
There had been a conversation beforehand where mil was going to persuade this ill relative to come and see us. I'd asked dh to put them off if he was ill but dh denied they were coming even though I knew what I'd heard.
Dh is imo really grubby with food hygiene, he's sloppy with raw meat letting it drip onto other food and recently gave our older child ham that had been in the fridge open for over a week. It should have been consumed within 2 days, I'd have stretched to 4 but it should have been chucked imo. I'm not bothered about best before dates but don't think meat is worth the risk.
I've no proof we've ever got ill from poor food hygiene but the kids have definitely caught viruses from his ill relatives spreading the love.
Aibu and if not how can I get him to listen.
I try to talk calmly or show him nhs site about hand washing, spread of illness but he just says he 'doesn't believe in all that'.