16 month old's bed time

[lilyboleyn]

Please settle a disagreement.

16 month old currently goes to bed at 7.30 after a bath and a story. She wakes maybe twice in the night to be handed a bottle but goes straight back to sleep.

DH says if we put her to bed later she will not wake up at all. I say 7.30 is late enough for her age. Who IBU? TIA

If she's tired at 7:30 she should go to bed then - it's a perfectly normal bedtime for a toddler. Sounds like when she reaches the end of her sleep cycle she doesn't know how to put herself back to sleep - also quite normal at her age and you're going to face the same issue whatever time she goes to bed. Getting over tired will probably make her less settled rather than more in the long run.

No way would later solve it.

What would solve it is not giving her food during the night though!
That's what her body is waking for. Substitute for water.

I have a 17 m/o who used to go from 18.30hrs to 06.30/07.30 hrs. They need on avg 10-13 hours a day including naps.
We've recently changed our sons bedtime to 19.00 because he started getting up at 05.30 and was trying to drop to one nap a day. This seems to have sorted him out. He does 19.00-06.30/07.15 and has an hour to an hour and a half a day.

It's all a bit trial and error. See if it works. If not go back. I read somewhere that if your child seems tired earlier that day, put them to bed earlier as they don't know what the time is, just keep the routine the same. Same applies if they don't seem tired.

It depends on her naps/morning wake up time but I would say 7.30pm is the absolute latest my 15 month old should be asleep. If I let her stay up we have very disturbed nights.
You could probably train your DD out of having the bottles at this age. I don't know if it's the same but I have night weaned DD from breastfeeding between 6.30pm and 5am. It was a slow process over a few weeks.

My 17 month old DS wakes once or sometimes twice for milk in the night and goes to bed at 6pm. I think that sounds really early but that's when he gets tired. If we leave it later he just gets overtired and upset.

It depend when dc gets up in the morning. Overtired children usually Wake more though.

Totally different age but my 6mo goes to sleep at 7pm, normally doesn't wake up (or at least doesn't make enough noise to wake us) til around 6.30am which is fine as I'm happy to get up at that time.
I think most babies and toddlers need 11-12 hours at night plus age appropriate naps obviously.

I think she should be going to bed earlier, babies tend to wake up in the night when they are overtired as it messes with their natural sleep cycle, they fall asleep too quickly and into a deep sleep rather than a gradual sinking. Putting her to bed later won't solve her waking in the night, she'll end up needing more naps during the day and the cycle will just get worse. Try an early bedtime for a few nights and see if it makes a difference.

I am in no way saying that this is the case for all babies, some babies just don't sleep through but this is what worked for my own children.

Thanks for all your replies. I would put her down earlier but husband often gets in from work at 7.30 and so wouldn't see her at all otherwise... am glad IANBU 😀

YANBU. 7.30 is plenty late enough, specially as most her age need a good 11-12 hours at night.

But I'd be questioning the need for a bottle or 2 during the night.if she's fully in solids, 3 meals a day plus snacks she shouldn't need anything overnight.

It won't work but when my DC were that age, I would sometimes give them some weetabix or porridge just before bedtime. I found it helped to fill them up so they didn't get so hungry at night.

Later bedtime won't help, if anything she will get over tired and frustrated and might struggle to fall asleep.

The bottle is probably the problem, is it milk you are giving her? I would offer water going forward.

Everyone wakes up at night, even adults but we know how to get ourselves back to sleep. A lot of babies and toddlers who have always fed to sleep can't fall asleep without milk which is why they still 'need' it in the night. The trick is teaching them to fall asleep without a crutch but I don't know how to do that with a toddler. I always put my baby down Awake but sleepy rather than feeding to sleep, I think it's worked but I could just be lucky.

I also gave my DC Weetabix at bedtime, fill them up and never offer milk in the night. Water from a beaker, at a push, and they shouldn't be needing that really. I also encouraged reliance for comfort on blankets and teddies. And was more than happy to let them whinge for a bit. Anything really, that didn't necessitate me getting out of bed!
A later bedtime isn't your answer.

I wouldn't my ds now 3, goes to be at 6.15, when he was around 18 months to about 2.5 it woke during the night, we thought it was for milk but when we stopped that he still woke up, it was like a natural break for him. Later bedtimes, more food, Milk etc. Made no difference he woke up regardless was just something we had to ride out

Later bed time won't help! (Doesn't here anyway) our 16mo old goes to bed between 6.30 and 7, she generally tells us when she's ready by picking up her makka pakka and standing by the door. Girl loves her bed 😂 That's the her until 6.30/7.

If she ever goes up later for any reason, she still gets up at the same time.

17mo DS goes to bed anywhere between 6:30 and 8:30. He occasionally wakes in the night and we put his dummy back in and/or cuddle him.
Milk shouldn't be needed in the night from about 6 months in most cases. It's a comfort thing and can be habit inducing. She knows if she wakes she gets milk. Can you offer water or a cuddle instead, she should get the message after a few nights.
Having said that, if it doesn't bother you and her weight is ok, then it's up to you if you want it to stop