Parent and child parking! 12 and 9 year old?!

[AnySecondNow]

Just had a row with a woman in Tesco car park. I waited 15 minutes for parking - have to carry a fairly solid 6 month old to the shop (post cesarean - still not 100%!)

Anyway, this family were parked in child and parent bay with a 12 year old and a 9 year old. Both very capable of walking and opening doors! I commented that she was rude to park there, she said she was entitled to. Then her husband complained about me to the management!!!

Wtf!? Ainu??! Parent and child surely means young child that needs assistance??!

I don't have DC but I'd never get involved in an argument over whose right it is to use them.

To be quite honest OP you sound like an entitled, PFB, new mum who thinks the world revolves around her and stuff anyone else. I'm glad they complained about you!

I go to Sainsbos so don't look too closely at the ages but would assume the ages children could use these spaces would be up to 12 or 16.

Must be the season for supermarket car park wars by the way, saw a right hoo hah between 2 families going on for 5 minutes complete with onlookers at my local Sainsbos today, got so heated security was called. Am ashamed to say it was rather entertaining...

For those asking how OP knew the ages - she was told by the mother, which you'd know if you'd bothered to read the thread properly.

SoupDragon Either of the children or the adult could have had a disability. Don't be so ignorant.

After reading this thread. I honestly don't think I'll ever use a parent and child space, I'd be worried someone would judge if I really needed it or not. What if I'm using it for a 4 month old but someone with a 4 week old needs it, or someone with two children, or someone with a bigger car so they can't open the doors fully.

I'll just stick with my small car and parking futher away and use common sense that, yes in a car park, cars will be reversing.

OP, you would have had no idea when you accosted them, if any of them had a disability. I know a child who can walk and open doors "very well" but has a blue badge.

soupdragon there's no need whatsoever for any parents to park in a P and C parking space, no matter what the age of their children. It's nice if one is available, but it's not essential.

Online ordering OP, it's the only safe way to proceed!

At 9 and 12 with no disabilities, there is no need whatsoever to park in a P&C

We don't know that though do we? I don't tell everyone when I use a P&C space with my family (I dont drive its usually a family member taking me). I don't and shouldn't have to point out my son has autism to everyone who questions me using it to justify my need for the space.

If it's legal they are allowed and subsequently entitled to use that space too. Whether morally right or not.

My eldest is only 18. What l have observed ( in the last few years) is the complete disinterest in keeping a child close by. I see it in the supermarket and obviously it is a problem commuting to the store.
It isn't ( with a NT child) difficult to hold a hand / use some reins or simply keep them close by while shopping.
I've lost track of the amount of teeny , tiny children wrapping themselves round my trolley - while the parent/ caregiver shops on. More in the style of sightseeing- loud voice and swirly directions with the hands.
Willing the child to follow- but not wanting to physically make this happen.
Is this a new thing?

In my view you should be able to use them up until the age where kids can do their seatbelts themselves. If you need to be able to get the door open enough to lean round and do a kids seatbelt sometimes you need more space (although I do have a big arse - maybe slim people can do it in a normal space

It does annoy me a bit when I see older kids jump out of the car without needing the extra room when it would really help me out with an 8 week old in his car seat but I wouldn't say anything, I would just try and find an end of row bay.

What does really annoy me though is one parent sitting in the car with the kids whilst the other one goes in to the shops alone, they really shouldn't be parking in the p&c spaces! They obviously know how handy the spaces are when they do have to get their kids out yet still use them when they don't need to, to me that's just selfish.

Emboo19 online shopping is your friend

Ours go up to age 12 I parked in one earlier with my nine year old. I'm disabled as well is that ok.

The mood I am in today if you had confronted me you would have got it back double barrel.

As a general rule, I think that once children can manage getting themselves into and out of the car without assistance, they don't need to be in a parent and child space. So a parent with a typical 9 and 12 yr old, with no disabilities or SN, shouldn't need to use one. Although of course a disability or SN may not be obvious to a casual observer like OP.

Incidentally, do Tesco really have an age limit of 12 on P and C spaces? I thought it was 5. I'm sure the Tesco near me has some sort of sign talking about priority for babies and toddlers. Must have a proper look next time I go.

The thing that confuses me here though.... 15 mins waiting for a P and C space because baby's too heavy to carry to the shop???

Why not just park further away, next to a trolley return point, go get a trolley, return to the car and put baby in the trolley? A bit more walking, yes, but you've saved yourself all that waiting time.

"After reading this thread. I honestly don't think I'll ever use a parent and child space, I'd be worried someone would judge if I really needed it or not."

Would you? I don't give a toot if someone wants to judge me. That's their preoccupation. Mine is avoiding crossing the car park with my two children where possible and the opinion of others matters not.

What does really annoy me though is one parent sitting in the car with the kids whilst the other one goes in to the shops alone, they really shouldn't be parking in the p&c spaces!

My Dad is a heart attack surviver, has copd, angina and asthma. As well as arthritis in his knees. He genuinely can't walk around supermarkets as the exertion is too much. So he waited in the car for us too when he took us shopping one day.

Is he selfish too?

I wasn't overly aggressive

Just aggressive enough that the family went to the effort of returning to the store and complaining about you.

Honestly sounds as if you were shockingly aggressive and rude IN FRONT OF 3 children! Given they felt it necessary to complain about you - you yourself said 'massive row' Get a grip! All new mums are sleep deprived, I'd wager a good many more than you if they have sick babies/older children too. If we all behaved like that as new mums the world would be chaos!

No way you could tell just from looking if none of that family were ill/disabled.

My dd has a hidden physical disability that can make walking very painful. She's a naturally stoical type so you wouldn't know unless you knew her very well.

There are literally HUNDREDS of conditions/reasons why they preferred parking there AND as pp have said they're not a legal parking restriction anyway.

What is it with everyone being so aggressive with things today? Every thread I go on there are people getting ridiculously angry about things that might be a bit annoying but do not merit swearing, shouting or aggression.

It's possible to 'confront' people without being a knob.

Re my first sentence in original post I meant Use the spaces I meant!!! Not use them...

Regardless of the ages you've let yourself down immediately OP by assuming no disabilities on behalf of the children and then by being rude about the woman's weight.

And all for the sake of you not being able to park in a parent and child space!

I think its more then the kids are left in the cars with a grown up that Elland meant?

Tesco have Parent and Child spaces, under 12. They also have the Baby Club pre-school, it isn't impossible that some of the P+C spaces are further reserved for Baby Club members!

Incidentally, do Tesco really have an age limit of 12 on P and C spaces? I thought it was 5

In actuality its neither, since they can't and won't do anything about any car parked in those spaces. It's not binding at all.

Of course if the p&c spaces are full I just get on with parking elsewhere...but I hate it.
As soon as I feel my kids are focused and spatially aware enough to reliably deal with traffic, I'll stop bagging one if I see it.
I'd never sit there and wait for one though...and never have. That's just a waste of time.

OP, move on. Shit happens. They are just a convinience rather than a necessity. Where I live they don't even exist unless the shop is very very new or it's a large shopping mall. We still manage somehow. They're nice when you can get them, with my youngest now 4 I would never use them. Others are less considerate, but if someone else using the PandC space is causing this much angst and making you start mouthing off and passing judgement at random strangers it's time to step back a little.