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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to throw dp and his morning alarm out of the window.

46 replies

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 08:15

Dp works five days a week with split days off. I work too, but less hours and not such early starts.

EVERY morning he will have his phone on snooze for at least half an hour before he gets up. This morning it was going off from 6.15, but he didn't get up until 6.45.

It is driving me insane. I'm a light sleeper, so I have now been awake from 6.15 on my day off! It's impacting to the point where I now automatically wake up really early even on his days off. On those days he can easily sleep until 11am.

I'm averaging about six hours every day and I'm knackered. Dp is apologetic, but says he doesn't hear alarm going off. He hears it well enough to snooze it though

I've told him he can start sleeping on couch if he doesn't sort himself out. AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 09:14

That's brilliant Cigar. Birthday present sorted

OP posts:

giantpurplepeopleeater · 18/02/2017 09:15

YANBU. Its very selfish.

I uses to have the same issue when sharing a room just post univeristy (internship abroad). My room mate would have an alarm going off every 10 minutes for an hour, even after id tried explaining to her.

She used to get up the same time every day though... which was so frustrating!!

So I started to wake up 5 minutes before I knew she would and go and claim the bathroom to have a lovely long shower. A few days of her being late for work and/ or having to go without a shower and she soon started to see my point of view!!!

Personally I'd start sleeping in another room. And if that wasn't an option I'd definitely kick him out of bed the first time it went off - maybe using that wet flannel!!

Chinnygirl · 18/02/2017 09:16

Wake him up at 5 am on his day off and tell him to get up because that is how his snoozing feels to you. Or seperate bedrooms.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 18/02/2017 09:16

Oh don't!! My DP does this and, as he does mornings on a dairy farm, it starts at fucking 4:45am and goes on til at least 5:30am, sometimes later. Honestly, I could kill him some days.

RandomMess · 18/02/2017 09:18

Simple but effective, first time alarms go off whip his side of the duvet off him and tell him to getting out of fcking bed and turn that fcking alarm off.

He may choose to sleep on the sofa after that tbh...

topcat2014 · 18/02/2017 09:22

We don't have an alarm - and sleep better for it. You can train yourself to wake up properly - and you don't start the day with jet lag.

Agree that continuous use of snooze is a bit studenty for me.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2017 09:24

Oh god, tell me about this. Dh now sleeps in the spare room because I'm chronically ill. Shot sleep patterns and we'd annoy each other too much. But before this. At least 45 mins before he needed to get up every fucking day. Really annoying the days I was getting home at 11.30pm and he needed to be somewhere at 7am so his alarm would go off at 5am.

Char22thom · 18/02/2017 09:29

Dh alarm goes off at 6am and I get up then every day, even when some days I don't start work til 11 or 12, I couldn't sleep in while he is going to work, I would feel too lazy and unfair to him, sometimes I'll sit in bed while he gets ready but couldn't roll over and go back to sleep personally x

ArchNotImpudent · 18/02/2017 09:30

I don't understand why people use 'snooze' either. Lying in bed on ten minutes of borrowed time dreading getting up is far worse than actually getting up.

I suffer from insomnia generally and the only way I can get a reasonable night's sleep is to sleep by myself. It's bliss to be in bed without someone else snoring, accidentally kicking you, turning over and giving you too much or too little of the duvet, knocking you out with their morning breath etc. Shared beds as an everyday thing are overrated in my view.

Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 09:33

But why not Char? Why should you be awake when you don't need to be?

My dp would never wake up just because I have to get up. Why should I be constantly sleep deprived? I never get a lie in because his morning fannying around had trained my body to now wake up at stupid o clock every bloody day. Yet on his days off he sleeps like a baby. Hardly fair is it?

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Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 09:34

I think snoozing on borrowed time is awful as well. Getting up is so much easier.

Separate rooms aren't an option sadly as we live in a one bed flat.

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LilacSpatula · 18/02/2017 09:37

Featherboa / before we had DD I got up much earlier and left before the alarms started. It pissed me off no end whilst I was on mat leave and now I just leave him to it. I couldn't start my day the way he does, it must be so stressful.

morningconstitutional2017 · 18/02/2017 09:46

It must be annoying for you as a light sleeper. Would you forgive him if he brought you up a nice cup of tea every morning?

ExitStage · 18/02/2017 09:48

From the other side of the fence.......my wife does this. Then when she finally gets up and I snuggle back down she strides back in and turns the bloody hairdryer on followed by five minutes of parading in front of the mirror in her knickers pulling various poses.

And then to top it all she usually decides she is running late so can I drop her at the station. Well if you'd got up when the alarm went off instead of snoozing......

LilacSpatula · 18/02/2017 09:53

Do you enjoy the knickers bit, Exit?

ExitStage · 18/02/2017 09:56

I might have a peek! But I'm to busy trying to feign grumpiness!

Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 09:57

He does bring me tea sometimes. It does not help my mood tbh. He also kisses me goodbye about five times before he leaves and shouts goodbye from the stairs.

It is driving me fucking mental.

Exit, that is really selfish of her I always take hair dryer etc into another room if dp still in bed.

Christ, what is it with all these inconsiderate bastards?

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Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 09:57

I wouldn't be having to feign it Exit...

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Applebite · 18/02/2017 10:00

I wrote this exact post, except with a more painful penalty, about 2 years ago! DP was horrific with his snooze button.

Eventually after multiple rows he narrowed it down to 1 snooze and getting dressed in the lounge at 6.30! I wasn't being lazy; I might get up an hour later than that, but I regularly work from 8am-9pm and beyond so broken sleep is a nightmare.

YANBU!

Somerville · 18/02/2017 10:01

That's so bloody rude.

My DH generally gets up early - about 5 - so he uses a silent alarm. He also puts his running stuff in our main bathroom the night before, so he doesn't need to get dressed in our room and disturb me.

The dog, however, wakes me up at 5.30 when she barks excitedly as they leave for their run, which I haven't confessed yet. I get back to sleep quickly though.

Original poster

featherboafiend · 18/02/2017 10:45

In all fairness dp does put his clothes and stuff in another room. It's just the constant snoozing. Plus the kissing me goodbye half a dozen times before he leaves.

I'm constantly knackered. I'm almost too tired to think straight today.

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