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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider ear splints for my 4 month old?

30 replies

Tallblue · 16/02/2017 08:24

My little one started out with 'normal' ears and over the months they have grown more and more outwards and really stick out now, like almost 90 degrees. To me my baby is so beautiful, but I'm so worried about him eventually being teased at school, I've watched this happen to others growing up and know kids can be so cruel.

I've found something called 'ear buddies' which is a splinting device and has a high success rate in babies. Basically a splint is put into the outer ear and it's taped (surgical tape) against the head. It would apparently take 3 months to be effective according to the website. It's approved by lots of reputable organizations, including some NHS trusts. I'm thinking it's better to do this now whilst baby is small rather than having to consider surgery later on. The earlier the splints are used, the shorter the timeframe so it's not really an option to wait and see. For a baby my age it could take 3 months, any older and we'd be looking at 6 months or more.

I'm torn between not wanting to change a thing about my beautiful baby's appearance and missing an opportunity to potentially help with something he could be upset about later on (being teased about ears). Using the splints could be uncomfortable now but I'm thinking as he's so small he won't remember whereas if he chooses to have ear pinning later on, that would be painful.

AIBU to consider using the splints?

OP posts:

notapizzaeater · 16/02/2017 08:26

We used them on my ds 14 years ago, made a huge difference and didn't high him at all. At this time of year when you're out they wear a hat so no one really noticed.

smilingsarahb · 16/02/2017 08:26

I wish someone had given me ear splits when I was a baby.
Can you try and see how baby reacts and if he isn't uncomfortable go ahead and if he seems distressed stop.

IHeartKingThistle · 16/02/2017 08:34

Well DS had massive sticky out ears at 4 months and now he's 7 and they don't stick out at all. I guess he just grew and the shape of his ears changed.

I'd be very wary of doing anything like that tbh.

Original poster

Tallblue · 16/02/2017 10:19

We live overseas in a hot country so I'd have to order the splints from the U.K.
A little worried about irritation and discomfort due to heat/sweating.

notapizza what age was your son when you used them? How long did it take to have an effect?

smiling this is what I'm hoping DS would avoid when he's older- I'd hate to look back and regret not doing it. Do you mind me asking- I assume from your comment you are not so happy with your ears? what age did you realize you were not happy with them? I'm conscious I want to avoid giving DS a complex about his ears!

IHeart this is what I'm thinking too- maybe DS will grow into his ears and all this is unnecessary. But if that doesn't happen, maybe he will be left unhappy and considering pinning. Tough decision as I'm trying to pre-empt the future.

OP posts:

UserReuser · 16/02/2017 11:50

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/ear-reshaping/Pages/ear_splinting.aspx Never heard of them, but nhs seems positive and relaxed. Seems pretty harmless.

My dd had proper pixie ears for moths though, and they curved over time

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 16/02/2017 11:55

I don't see why not. The NHS page says it not painful and for me that would be the game changer.

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 16/02/2017 11:57

I'm watching this with interest DD was born with v sticky out ears (almost folded over) they are 'normalising' now, but still quite noticeable. I, of course, think she's the most gorgeous thing on the planet, but I want to make her childhood as easy as possible and kids can be mean.

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 16/02/2017 11:58

UserReuser DD also has pointy pixie ears... in secretly hoping they stay (even if we tape hem back so they are a bit flatter to her head).

whoopitywhoopitywhoop · 16/02/2017 11:59

we used them on one ease that was getting deformed as a newborn. There is still some asymmetry by it was definitely worth it.

downwardfacingdog · 16/02/2017 12:04

yanbu - seems an easy fix for something that can make people feel very self-conscious.

Sirzy · 16/02/2017 12:07

I would use them.

I had my ears pinned back when I was 10 and i am pleased I did BUT it was a painful process so if you can do a non invasive, non painful way of helping I would.

If she doesn't like them you can always stop using them

freelancegirl · 16/02/2017 12:08

We used them on our little boy when he was 11 months old and I wish I had done it sooner. The sooner you use them the less time you have to have them on. At almost a year old we had to keep them on for four months which wasn't much fun as he became aware of them and would try to pull them off occasionally. We had to stick them back regularly. However they worked and the distance between his ear and head reduced by 5mm on each side. They are still not the smallest of ears, bless him, but it really did make a difference. We used Ear Buddies and got ours fitted (after initially doing it ourselves) at the Portland clinic under the doctor (albeit fitted by the nurses) that invented them. When they stuck them back they made sure they were completely flat against the head. We had to trim a bit of his hair there. But would definitely recommend doing it.

PageStillNotFound404 · 16/02/2017 12:13

I have prominent ears and wish something like this had been around in my babyhood. I hate my ears and always wear my hair to try to hide them, which cuts out a lot of style options. If the NHS say it's painless then I'd definitely try it.

mmgirish · 16/02/2017 12:16

I would in your position. Some children suffer from teasing then go through an operation to have them pinned back later.

bumsexatthebingo · 16/02/2017 12:23

I would get them. I think it's something that they would quickly get used to. And 3 months is a relatively short time to fix something that could potentially lead to bullying/surgery when he's older.

TheNotorious · 16/02/2017 14:04

My DH has sticky out ears and he always says he wished his parents had got them fixed when he was a child. He got bullied at school and it had a huge effect on him. Our DS doesn't have the same ears but he said that he wouldn't hesitate to have fixed them for DS should he needed to. It's hard when you find your little baby so perfect but I applaud you for thinking ahead. Your DC may very well thank you one day!

Original poster

Tallblue · 16/02/2017 14:52

Thanks all! Your responses are most helpful.

OP posts:

Irishmummy · 16/02/2017 15:57

Hi I used them on both my son and daughter as babies and think they did a fab job. Both kids ears look fine now. I did find removing the tape at the time quite difficult but found a cotton bud dipped in baby oil helped with the sticky residue. They can be a bit fiddly and time consuming to remove but I felt it was a much safer option than surgery later on.

Coconut0il · 16/02/2017 16:05

I used them on DS2. I found it quite hard to explain to people what they were for and looking at them made me feel quite upset, I don't really know why. They didn't bother him at all, think it effected me more.
It has made a difference to his ears, I didn't leave them on for as long as recommended so hope in the future I don't regret taking them off early.

Doglikeafox · 16/02/2017 16:22

I would do it. My DP has finally starting to 'grow into' his ears now he is an adult, but all through his childhood and teenage years he was teased horribly as they stood out from his head. Looking back at pictures, they weren't even that noticeable but they were to him, and apparently to his bullies they were too.
It is 3 months of uncomfortableness, which in my eyes beats a life time of bullying hands down!
Best of luck OP

Sunnysky2016 · 16/02/2017 16:23

Children can be cruel. If you could do something to help and you chose not to, would you forgive yourself if your child was bullied? I think as a parent it would your heart out.
You are doing the right thing imo

IHeartKingThistle · 17/02/2017 00:30

I'm finding this really interesting. DD has a partial underbite and I decided a long time ago never to suggest that she has it fixed unless she brings it up. I'm just worried that one day she'd think I didn't think she was good enough or pretty enough, that I wanted to change her. But saying that, a big part of that is to do with the fact that fixing it would be very invasive and painful for her, unlike the ear splints. I wonder if I would have done it if I could have done it painlessly for her as a baby. I honestly don't know!

Original poster

Tallblue · 17/02/2017 16:04

We've taken the plunge and ordered the ear buddies today! Will give it a go and if it causes any distress or discomfort to my LO will discontinue using them.

OP posts:

Coconut0il · 17/02/2017 16:12

Good luck with it Tallblue. Let us know how it goes

OneOffNCforThis · 17/02/2017 18:28

Hi OP,

I think YANBU.

If it's pain-free/ NHS-approved, and such a short-term measure that will save your DS potential angst, why not?

I had real issues throughout my childhood/ teens with fairly prominent ears...not horrendous bullying, but constant, low-level teasing that made me (an already sensitive kid) far too self-conscious ever to tie my hair up/ experiment with hairstyles/ enjoy swimming and sports properly.

The feelings of dread before a trip to the hairdresser were equal to those most people reserve for the dentist!

Plenty of kids cope just fine, but I wasn't one who did.

I finally paid for corrective surgery in my mid 20s, which was life-changing. No exaggeration. The op itself (under a local) was fine, but the following week was literally the most agonising pain I've ever experienced.

(BTW, would hate to deter anyone else considering it...that's just my experience. Maybe techniques have improved, as a friend had the exact same procedure recently with barely any post-op discomfort even.
I've also heard it said that children's otoplasty is far less painful, as their ear cartilage is more pliable).

It's a shame, isn't it, that in 2017 we don't just embrace 'different' ears without a moment's thought? Roll on that day.
I'm sure your baby boy's gorgeous with and without his quirky ears, and wish you both well x Do keep us posted!

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