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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my old supervisor on a date

10 replies

Beatrixxx · 15/02/2017 22:50

I really liked her. Didn't know if she liked me. I was still bicurious and didn't fully know if I could fancy a woman. She always looked me up and down and I strongly suspected she found me attractive but I had always said I was heterosexual so she would never have known I could have been interested. When she got tipsy at a work party she told me I would be exactly what she would go for in a woman. Grin

She still doesn't know I'm bisexual and I'm completely and utterly in love with her. She was a senior where I worked but I no longer work there.

I see her around once every two weeks and it's never got past general chit chat and I wish I could just ask her out. I'm thinking of just doing it. Get some bravery and go for it. But then I stop.

If she isn't interested then I've made it awkward for her as we still work in the same building. And she was my old supervisor and is 10 years older than me.

Would it be unreasonable to put her in that position? And possibly inappropriate?

OP posts:
DelphineCormier · 15/02/2017 23:29

Ask her. Worst she can say is no. I say this, I have been intending to ask my colleague on a date for 12 years. Take my advice, don't do what I do Blush

Original poster
Beatrixxx · 15/02/2017 23:34

12 years?! That's way too long to have a crush.😂

The longer you wait the harder it is to ask the person out.

It's such a hard thing to do.

OP posts:
DelphineCormier · 15/02/2017 23:47

Might be longer than that actually Blush I meant to when he and his wife split, then they got back together before I plucked up the courage. They split a few times again and are now divorced but it's been so long now it's too awkward. So you should do it now is the moral of the story Grin

Bloomed · 15/02/2017 23:50

Go for it!

AdoraBell · 15/02/2017 23:54

Go for it. The worst that can happen is she can say no, but that's better always wondering what she would say.

BabychamSocialist · 16/02/2017 00:48

Yeah go for it. If you don't work together anymore then it won't be an issue. The worst thing she can do is say no.

I'm sending you good thoughts - hope it works out for you! Smile

ImpetuousBride · 16/02/2017 00:55

You can ask her out without asking her out, i.e. just suggest meeting for coffee sometime to catch up after work. Once out with her you'll have a better idea whether she is still single, seems interested in you, etc.. you can drop a hint or two and play it by ear. Good luck!

donquixotedelamancha · 16/02/2017 08:31

"When she got tipsy at a work party she told me I would be exactly what she would go for in a woman."

Short of her hiring a billboard outside your house, I'm not sure she could be clearer. Ball is firmly in your court.

If you really want to hedge it you could start by asking her advice, as a friend, about dating girls; to make your policy change clear.

BaconMaker · 16/02/2017 09:03

Just ask her - she's flirted with you and you like her why wouldn't you ask?

KayTee87 · 16/02/2017 09:24

If you really want to hedge it you could start by asking her advice, as a friend, about dating girls; to make your policy change clear.

I wouldn't do this, it really sends a single that you're not interested in her.

Next time you see her just say something along the lines of 'I've been meaning to try out that new cocktail bar/restaurant/see that new film, do you fancy it?'

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