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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU for buying plums??!

25 replies

BurntAroundTheEdges · 15/02/2017 22:30

Before I begin, this is a light hearted thread but has none the less cause a bit of a stir with me and DP.

DP is Nigerian and he cooks things that I know nothing about. Admittedly I am not a very good cook anyway so that doesn't help. So, when he was on his way home from work earlier, he asked me to pop to the shop to pick up a few bits. The list was as follows: an onion, 2-3 plums, vegetable oil and some rice. So I toddled off to the shop to get exactly those things.

When he got home, the conversation went like this..........

DP: where are the plums?
Me: in the bag there (points to bag)
DP: (laughs) your joking right??!
Me: no, you said 2-3 plums. They are plums, I got 3!

Anywho, after a slightly confused conversation, it materialised that he was after plum tomatoes in a tin not actual plums. WTF?? He said I should have known because I've bought them for him a few times before. He said 2-3 because sometimes they sell them in packs of 3 tins, like a special deal or something.

He actually thinks he was in the right and I should have known better. Was I BU for buying actual plums?

OP posts:

gleam · 15/02/2017 22:35

That's what I would have bought - if you can even get them this time of year.

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 15/02/2017 22:37

I'm with you! If he wanted plum tomatoes he should have said so!

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/02/2017 22:38

Given the combination of the other ingredients I'd have checked he actually meant plums and it wasn't an abbreviation

However u got what was asked so he should have been clearer.

foxyloxy78 · 15/02/2017 22:38

You are right! A plum is a plum! Plum tomato, completely different! Lol

ScarlettFreestone · 15/02/2017 22:40

I would have bought actual plums. (And I do cook)

If he wanted rubbed plum tomatoes then that's what he should have asked for.

ScarlettFreestone · 15/02/2017 22:41

Rubbed? WTH Autocorrect? "Tinned"

Original poster

BurntAroundTheEdges · 15/02/2017 22:42

I did wonder why he wanted plums but like I said, he cooks very different things to what I do. I thought it was some Nigerian dish he hadn't done before. I was looking forward to trying it out
OH how we laughed............

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 15/02/2017 22:53

A plum is a plum, a tomato is a tomato, and your oh need to be more specific!

angelikacpickles · 15/02/2017 23:06

I would have done the same as you. And even if it were obvious that he meant plum tomatoes - how on earth were you supposed to know he meant tins? 2-3 plums does not equal 2-3 tins of plum tomatoes.

BillSykesDog · 15/02/2017 23:09

He is a plum.

PamplemousseRouge · 15/02/2017 23:12

I would've thought plums (the fruit) too, OP! :) How did it all go in the end? Hope you had a nice meal!

NavyandWhite · 15/02/2017 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 15/02/2017 23:42

A plum is a plum and a tomato is a tomato. Does he expect you to read his mind?

Did he use the plums???

Bahh · 15/02/2017 23:42

A plum is a plum, a tomato is a tomato! I wouldn't have questioned it, he would have got some nice fruity plums to go in his savoury rice dish.

On the plus side, plum jam?

RedSauce · 15/02/2017 23:46

Should've just made the dish with the plums. Maybe it would be tasty.

BabychamSocialist · 16/02/2017 01:00

A plum is a plum surely? If you want plum tomatoes, that's what you ask for...

AwaywiththePixies27 · 16/02/2017 01:06

No. I'd have bought plums too. He's a numpty.

My ExDH would be outraged at him using plum tomatoes. You need the chopped tomatoes, they simmer down to the required sauce quicker

For what it's worth I was on my way home from work one night when ExDH was cooking dinner. Told him to put the spinach on and came home to find him boiling the spring onions 😂

EmeraldScorn · 16/02/2017 01:13

If he had asked me to get him "2-3 plums" I would have got him 2-3 plums, just like you did. Now if he had wanted a variety of tomato, he should have said so by including the word "tomato" in his request.

On a side note, could he not have stopped at the shop himself given that he was on his way home anyway? Nevertheless you bought what he asked for, he can't complain!

oldlaundbooth · 16/02/2017 01:16

Is English his second language?

AdoraBell · 16/02/2017 01:21

Plums and tomatoes are different fruits.

Plum tomatoes are a type of tomatoes
He asked you to get plums
You bought exactky what he asked for.

ShoutOutToMyEx · 16/02/2017 01:44

Awww you beat me to it Bill!

Brokenbiscuit · 16/02/2017 01:51

Ah, the joys of a cross-cultural marriage, eh OP! DH and I sometimes have similar communication failures. It all adds to the rich tapestry of life!

What happened to the plums?

HarmlessChap · 16/02/2017 02:09

DW put lettuce on the list a while back she meant a bag of ready washed salad leaves, apparently I should have known......

Another time the list said peas, but there was a bit of a flourish between the a & s so I read it differently and bought pears.

melj1213 · 16/02/2017 02:27

He wrote plums, he got plums ... and even if you had worked out that he did want plum tomatoes not actual plums, how were you supposed to know that the "2-3" was in reference to tins and not individual tomatoes?

I work in a supermarket and it's not unusual for someone to pop in and pick up a couple of tomatoes, a carrot, a potato or some other small quantity of loose fruit or veg because they are either only cooking for one or need 6 carrots for a recipe and only have five at home, and while they'd normally just make do with one less, since they were popping in for a few other bits decided they might as well pick up an extra one.

DJBaggySmalls · 16/02/2017 02:31

So if he asks for cherries does he mean cherries or tomatoes?

Flip