Will try to keep this short. I'm 43, divorced, one teenage son. I've been in a co-habiting relationship with DP for 5 years now. I earn more, I have more assets (not much, but more). Dp has some debts (maybe <10k altogether, I'm guessing a bit), no assets. We rent where we live and don't own any property together, most of the furniture etc, the car, belongs to me. We both have stable professional jobs and are both fairly ambitious career-wise, although I am probably further along in my career. Dp is an amazing 'step-dad' to ds, who adores him. Ds's bio father is a feckless, unemployed alcoholic who lets ds down frequently and provides no stability or role modelling. Our marriage was a disaster from day 1 because I never listened to the alarm bells. Dp and I have had our up and downs like any couple but I know he loves me very much and I love him more and more the longer we're together. He's a good, kind man who has really shown his love and support for me in the last year which has been awful (bereavements/illness/miscarriage). I see a future for us. We don't want any more kids. At the weekend he made it clear that he wants to get married. We've talked about it in an abstract sense before but neither of us have ever really thought about it seriously (so I thought). He's adamant he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and marriage needs to be a part of that. I don't think it's a deal-breaker but it's clearly something that he really wants. He thinks I've knocked him back after I said I didn't see it as important to me at the moment. I love him to bits but don't see 'what's in it for me', marriage-wise. I don't see why we would bother doing it. Sometimes I like the idea of it, but I liked the idea of being married to xh and that was fucking awful. What would you do/think in my position? Any advice very welcome!