So... here's the deal: I've been asked to go on a work trip next month. It's a fantastic opportunity and it's also kind of my responsibility to go. That said, although it would be a very positive thing for my career, there would be no comeback if I said no, I just wouldn't get the positives.
However, I have a 13 month old DS who's still BF, 3x overnight (one at bedtime 7pm, one somewhere between 10.30pm-12am and one between 5-6am. He's in nursery full-time so doesn't BF during the day, and eats well so he almost certainly doesn't NEED to feed overnight from a nutritional point of view.
The trip involves a 12-hour flight and 5 nights away. I'll be working during the daytime, with no option of just flinging DS in a sling and bringing him with me.
I can see three options here:
- I go and leave DS with DP. No qualms whatsoever about DP's abilities to look after DS, he just can't lactate! I can skype/facetime/whatever from the other country, that's not a problem. I could express and freeze milk: he won't take a bottle but might drink it from a sippy cup, though tbh it's unlikely (he never has before) and in any case, it's not really an issue of just nutrition. I could take a pump with me and pump and dump while away to maintain supply so we could resume feeding when I get back. Or of course we could just wean DS completely. We are slowly cutting back - we've just phased out the 4th feed at 2.30am and it's gone down like a lead balloon! - but we're some way off being night-weaned at the moment and would have to pick up the pace significantly. So if I take this option, am I just condemning DP and DS to nearly a week of Crying It Out overnight?! He does settle OK for DP if he goes in overnight (eventually) at the moment, but obviously that's in the context of getting those 2 middle-of-the-night and early morning feeds.
- All of us go. DP would need time off work and I would have to pay for his flight, but both do-able at a pinch. We'll be staying in a hotel in an area well known for tourist sites, so stuff to do while I'm working. We just have to wrangle DS on 2x 12 hour flights, cope with change of routine and jetlag etc. Not sure how keen DP is on this option though, although he would suck it up if I asked.
- I go with DS and DP stays home. We can get day childcare locally through trusted contacts. Has all the negatives of above (plus one-person wrangling of DS on the plane!), and DP will only see DS via skype etc. while we're away (though for context he often is away for one or more nights a week at the moment).
Basically I just have to put on my big girl pants, make a decision and live with it, but I'm interested in everyone's thoughts!