When does breastfeeding get easier?

[Gape1211a]

My 2nd DD is 12 weeks and breast fed. My question is when does it get easier? I thought it settles down after the 8-12 weeks grow spurt.

My first DD was bottle fed and it seems easy in comparison.

Really struggling

Best thing you can do is Breast feed for as long as she wants it,though I know it's often not the way lots do.
And toilet is not an issue as her age she using nearly all of your milk to grow and develop so very little waste unlike formula where lots of rubbish in it.

You poor thing. There's always something to worry about, I'm still stressing over feeding my DS who is 11 years old. I worry whether he's eating too much, too little, the wrong food, putting on too much weight..

I don't think there's a magic mark when it gets easier because they are all just so different. My problem was that BFing was quite painful for me. I BF'd till about 15 months (checked by multiple experts) and it was never pain-free. For my younger two children, I BF'd mainly to save money and for the convenience and because BF'ing just seemed the right thing to do if you had no actual reason not to. I couldn't wait to stop at 12 months , I wanted my body back to myself again. Again everyone's experience is so different.

All my 3 children, even though fed the same, have had very different sleep patterns and different eating routines.

I hope things get easier soon. It's horrific being sleep deprived, it can affect all areas of life. Try not to worry too much about dropping one percentile. Sometimes they take a few months to settle into their natural weight. The nurse should be able to tell when there's cause for any great alarm.

You're doing a great job already.

For me it got easier at about 4 months. Boobs started to feel more 'normal'. And it was easier again from 6-7 months when he started solids. Feeding was still frequent until solids were established though but no leaking or uncomfyness. I bf until he was 3.5 years.

I found it got easier from 3 months, but there were still cycles where there were growth spurts, and disruption from development/ teething. But the length of the good phases increased. Once weaning gets underway, the feeds will begin to space out which really helps.

I had bottle refusers, but by 4 months, I was able to have enough time to drive across town to an aquafit class and gradually increased the time away.

By 10 months I RTW p/t and my babies were happy enough on solids to skip day feeds on work days.

I'd rather do a BF night feed than have to faff with a bottle.

"Easy" for milk to flow by two weeks (no engorgement, latch good, decent supply etc)

It goes in cycles though. My 4mo feeds constantly at the moment and wakes 5/6 times a night. It was once or twice last month. Next month may be easier. This is baby #2 so I'm just rolling with it. The fussing happens when baby has s growth spurt and your milk supply needs to increase. It takes a few days.

When your kids reach strikethrough-25- 35 it should be getting easier by then

I found it got easier after about 8 weeks in terms of day feeds. Just whack them on.

But around 4 months you hit the wall with night feeds. I actually think it's worse in a way then cos they're still feeding like newborns but you're totally worn out and there's no end in sight.

I quit around then. Didn't help with night wake ups tbh but at least I knew they weren't cos of hunger cos if they don't want a bottle they won't take one.

And I got a lot of freedom back during the days. Yes it's a pain having to bring a bottle out with you but you don't have to get your tit out on a cold winters day so swings and roundabouts!

Sorry you are finding it hard, op. Is there any breastfeeding support in your area who can do a home visit and help/reassure you?
For anyone reading who might be considering breastfeeding soon, I found it so much easier than bottle feeding (after the first 2 days when baby cluster fed for literally 48 hours straight). From then on in, baby fed on one breast for 5 mins every hour or 2 and once or twice in the night. I didn't realise it was going to be that easy as I'd heard how hard it is, etc. As latch was good and my let down was strong, baby was able to drain breast in minutes and we literally had no issues in 18 months.

This is not a 'I'm so frigging great' comment, just saying it how it is and hopefully giving someone some hope that it's not always hard.

In comparison, my formula fed baby had colic, vomited continuously all day ever day until 9 months old, would only drink ready made milk, refused all bottles after 5 months unless I held a distraction in front of him, such as baby tv, so he didn't realise he was drinking. I even had to dream feed him to make sure he got enough calories and fluids. Got medical advice on numerous occasions and apparently nothing was wrong (he wasn't in pain when he brought up milk and never had unhealthy poos) it was just the way he was. This was my first and I swore to breast feed the second time around and so glad I did.

Hope you turn a corner soon, op.
My advice would be to definitely get as much help and advice as you can from breast feeding support and groups and if not, don't feel guilty for perhaps stopping and bottle feeding. As long as you are both happy and healthy, that's all that matters

unlike formula where lots of rubbish in it

Don't worry about the centipede thing OP. My DD went from 75 to 25 in the first 3 months, and stayed there until 1 when she crept back into the 50th. She's been breastfed for 2.5 years now and still going

Centile! Not centipede

Over 3 months with second bf child. I only kept going because I'd bf first.

All my children have been born big an dropped down percentiles - but him most dramatically - looking back I suspect undiagnosed tongue tie and I did suspect at the time he was struggling to get enough hind milk.

HV with first brilliant - with second awful and couldn't access any bf support of which there was little as had toddler and no childcare - worst area I've lived in for not understanding about having children around.

It did settle down but took way longer than everyone kept saying it would.

I'd see if you can access any bf support - get latch checked and some more general bf support.

Around 12 weeks for DD1 and 8 ish weeks for DD2 (my nipples were tougher and we both knew what we were doing). I think it varies though and I echo pp about not assuming ff babies sleeping better and comparing other babies.

Also, if you DO want to bf but finding it hard, it doesn't have to be either bf or ff, you can do both. I mixed fed both DDs and continued bf till 2 for DD1, and am still bf-ing DD2 at 14 months. Both girls were off formula completely by 13-14 months.

For me bf is definitely easier in the early months and at night (and during flights!), but ff was easier at times when we were out and about once the babies were at the distracted-by-everything stage as it meant they had a big enough feed to keep them going for a bit without me having to feed them every 30 minutes!

Good luck OP. Whatever you decide will be fine.

I am hating it even more. Dd2 hasn't got any better but worse. I thought we had turned a corner through the night but last night she fed every 3 hours. All she has done yesterday n today is cry.

It never did for me. I had a very low supply (which I later found out was caused by medication and blood loss) and my son was constantly hungry so I moved to solely formula at 4 weeks. I was very disappointed as my family all breastfed very easily and I assumed it would be the same.

FWIW my formula fed DS has always slept badly - formula isn't a cure-all for sleep issues i promise.

bf baby's gain weight slower than bottle fed baby's so can appear to lose centiles on current charts (which are based on bottle fed babies).

Bf babies feed waaaaaay more frequently than bottlefed babies.

DS fed every 90 minutes day and night until he was 8 months old. He also wouldn't take a bottle. I'm still feeding him at 14months, but we've cut down to morning and evening now and have night weaned.

If I ever have a second child I don't think I'll breastfeed, it is way too tying.

And not pooping for 10 days is very normal. As is fussing and pulling on and off.

My DD was exactly the same (including the pooing every 10-12 days) she's just turned four months and she's feeding less and happier between feeds she also poos everyday now, she's much happier. I dont even know what changed!! Good luck 🍀

It can be really tough but what you're experiencing sounds really normal based on my experiences...am currently bf number 2 (nearly 6 months) and we are cruising at the moment but a couple of weeks ago he was crying and fussing during the day as he was hungry but too distracted by everything around him to feed, and the nights were subsequently much busier. It all comes in phases though and you've just got the hang of something when it all changes again. Have you got opportunities to be somewhere quiet and do skin-to-skin, just try and "reset" a bit and remind your baby how lovely it all is when they're not faffing around? That has always seemed to work for me. Also would second the thingabout centiles, both mine started off rights the top and by 6 months ds1 was on 25th but totally healthy and thriving. Ds2 is now around 50. It seems to be a pretty normal thing.

As others have said, not pooing for 10 days or so,for an EBF baby is fairly normal.

My first was a very distractable feeder. When he was very small, I found putting a mirror in front of him so that he could watch what was going on while feeding helped him stay on. Later I had special things that he was only allowed to play with while feeding- usually things that he'd otherwise try to chew for example empty chocolate boxes, with the crinkly tops. Sometimes, just letting him play with the label on my top was enough. Also a friend gave me a breastfeeding necklace which he could fiddle with while feeding.

I was about to suggest a breastfeeding necklace. This can be as simple as a few wooden beads on a string that you've put together yourself! It gives them something to fiddle with/look at while you feed so they're not twisting all over the place and trying to look around.