Did this mum really have her children removed for ignoring advice about co-sleeping, or must there have been more to it than is stated here?

[Trifleorbust]

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/12/mother-allowed-two-boys-sleep-bed-has-taken-family-court-judge/

It obviously wasn't just the co-sleeping but ignoring the advice of professionals about sleeping arrangements seems to have been a major factor, which I find quite shocking

AIBU?

The Telegraph is known to have a bit of an agenda against children being taken into care, hence the fact that they have chosen to emphasise the co-sleeping issue.

However, I think social services do sometimes abuse the accusation of failing to co-operate with advice. It's not unknown for local authorities to use in child protection proceedings the fact that parents have dared to take them to the Special Educational Needs and Disability Tribunal, as if in some way the decisions of LA SEN departments must be infallible.

Why was co sleeping cited at all? I don't get it. I co sleep (out of necessity in order for us all to get some sleep) and will do for as long as needed and hate the implication that I am doing something wrong

Tbh, this is where you have to exercise a bit of common sense. I haven't read the article but my 10 year old would realise that reporting is biased, the full facts aren't presented and that this was only a tiny part of a bigger picture.

Co-sleeping because you believe it is best for your child/family - fine; co-sleeping because it's the only way you are going to get any sleep - fine; falling asleep with your baby in bed with you because you can't be arsed getting up and doing the whole bedtime routine and putting them to bed properly but calling it 'co-sleeping' - not fine.

FWIW, I (reluctantly) co-slept with my youngest because she wouldn't sleep otherwise.

I have not taken anything in this thread as an implication I was wrong for doing so.

Trifleorbust ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! "Co-sleeping isn't dangerous even to a newborn?!" It IS bloody dangerous!

Many, many newborn or very young children have DIED because of co-sleeping, even with no suffocation or injury. Just co-sleeping. Someone I know lost their child that way! The ONE night she decided to co-sleep.

I cannot believe you can be so blasé in saying such a ludicrous thing

Broken wrists. Unexplained bruising. A failure to stop when SS intervened. Co-sleeping was probably just the icing on the cake - might have been sexual abuse concerns.

In Asia parents don't co-sleep in the same bed. Even in India where resources are limited babies sleep in a rocker or are placed on a separate mattress to the parents.

Its become an obsession to
demonise co-sleeping parents in the UK and the US. It's extremely normal in the rest of the world. Japan has one of the lowest incidence of sids and co- sleeping is normal and preferred.

I think it's very clear there's a lot more to it than co-sleeping - as your original post says, itself.

Your outrage would be a lot better directed at the misrepresentation of the case by the newspapers.

Seems that some of the press hate people intervening in a bad family situation, then they just love directing hate at bad parents. They seem much more interested in riding the wave of hate than protecting the children.

Tracey co-sleeping with a newborn is perfectly safe...When done safely.

Trifle

It's not about co-sleeping it's about an abused child being forced to co-sleep with parents who abused their children so badly there was bruising and broken wrists.

What is so difficult to understand, you keep saying there are other issues (not even close a word to describe imo)while ignoring them to steer the conversation to if we don't do what were advised they will take our kids off us!

Either use the whole situation for discussion or not at all!

ForAllWeKnow it's not that I think this thread is down on co-sleeping it's just I find it odd how the papers are picking up on that. About half of mothers I know co-sleep (seems to go hand in hand with breastfeeding) and I don't consider it a thing - good or bad - it's just a normal fact of life.
I guess it might be that they were taking drugs and co sleeping or doing inappropriate things whilst co-sleeping e.g. Having sex in front of children old enough to know what it is, or watching TV all night and keeping children up.. etc. I assume there was an actual reason that they bring up the co sleeping in the case. But without that background the papers just shouldn't mention it.

I doubt it. My health visitor also gave me advice on safe co sleeping when I told her we needed to do it. We didn't meet any of the risk factors and she seemed happy enough.

Co-sleeping isn't dangerous to a child (not even a newborn)

Of course it is.

Of course it is.

Please elaborate.

From my experience of Trifle, she always just posts the exact opposite of most normal peoples views.

I have coslept with both of my children. Still cosleeping full time with the 3.5 yo, 6 yo in with us for part of the night about 70% of the time.

Youngest is adopted.

A paediatrician once told me 'there's loads of research which shows how mothers take up protective postures around babies'. I'm guessing she didn't mean abusive stoned mothers though.

Do I win the anecdotal evidence prize for this thread?

I honestly don't move a muscle all night, but yeah - anecdotal here too!

I asked my midwife about co-sleeping at my booking appointment. I would be strongly advised not to do it because of the medication I'm currently on. It's amitripiline which has quite a mild sedative effect, but there are other drugs (legal and not legal) that are stronger cannabis, mirtazapine, any of the Z sleeping aids and any benziopidine (sp) would probably raise the risk a lot.

I think it would be more about the injuries, can't they usually tell if they are accidental or not?

DD1 breaks on average one bone a year (currently fingers, last year arm) and is covered in bruises constantly but she's a keen footballer which explains them all and I've never had so much as a phonecall.