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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

IABVU Wedding Planning Help

36 replies

FairytaleOfSkegness · 12/02/2017 18:20

Firstly I know I am being very unreasonable as I am posting here for the traffic but I could really do with some help

My DP and I would really like to get married this year. He proposed at Christmas and we'd like to get married this year as our anniversary falls on a Saturday. The only problem is that it's at the end of June so we're fast running out of time!

We're also on a very tight budget so were thinking of just getting the basic registry office package of just us and two witnesses and then throwing a small party for our friends and family afterwards.

The problem we're running into is that a lot of registry office don't seem to offer this on a Saturday. So has anyone had a wedding like this on a Saturday and if so where was it?

Also does anyone have any recommendations for websites where you can book out a house for the weekend to host the party in that doesn't cost the earth? If we had the space we'd do it at home but unfortunately we rent a very small flat and no one would fit.

Sorry this turned out so long but if anyone has any recommendations or ideas we would be so grateful

OP posts:

goldwrapped · 13/02/2017 23:09

Hello lovely.
Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding! Exciting!
Register Offices are obliged by law to offer a statutory ceremony-with the bride and groom + 2 witnesses-for £46. They don't mention it because they want to upsell their ceremonies by a couple of hundred quid. Local Authorities are now money grabbing like the rest of them, unfortunately. Stamp your feet and tell your chosen office that's what you want. And tell them when you want it!
After you've done the legal bit, you could ask an independent celebrant (like this one - www.bceo.uk) to do you a lovely personalised ceremony in a location of your choice with all your friends and family there - there are some suggestions on this website. Think outside the box - a field, a beach, your local pub, your garden... Then you could carry on the party in the same location....
Good luck xx

crazywriter · 14/02/2017 00:08

I can't help on ideas but the Scottish summer holidays last year started in June 24 (it's a friends daughters b day so the date stood out) it could be the first weekend for the Scottish holidays but I've not seen English prices go up because of it. We were looking at going away that weekend last year. The prices went up the next month.

Congratulations and I do hope you find something.

annandale · 14/02/2017 00:37

Consider exclusive hire of a youth hostel?

I typed that, did a fair bit of googling and ran into a few problems. Not many available in the Midlands and it still isn't cheap (or luxurious) but it would be a load of fun. YHA Skipton (on Offa's Dyke) costs £1000 for the weekend and sleeps 31... If you could go to Somerset, YHA Cheddar costs £650 for the weekend, sleeps 15. However, neither seems to have a register office open on a Saturday anywhere near them! It's weird, I know our local register office used to do Saturday appointments but also doesn't seem to be open on Saturdays now. Maybe by appointment only?

If it's June, what about a camping weekend? My personal favourite campsite is Britchcombe Farm in Oxfordshire but I'm sure there will be somewhere rural and beautiful near you. Hire or borrow tents, have a barbecue, maybe even hire a motorhome or two [dream] and then you have absolutely minimal stress as you can always book another tent pitch if you go for a big flexible site.

needmorespace · 14/02/2017 00:46

In response to goldwrapped
I'm pretty sure you won't be able to persuade your local register office to allow you to have a 'basic' ceremony on a Saturday. All are obliged by law to offer it - so they do - but generally not on a Saturday. It's not really a question of money grabbing - it's a question of cuts to local authorities by tory governments dressed up as local authority cuts.
Ironically, by the time you've paid your 'independent' celebrant to do your ceremony you would have paid for the hire of the room in the Town Hall and the ceremony.
You may not be aware of this but if you decide to have the statutory ceremony for £46, you could always get a friend or family member to do your 'celebratory' ceremony - it doesn't have to be an independent celebrant

lavei · 14/02/2017 05:49

I work as an events manager and I offer a discounted package for those 'shot gun' weddings. Basically any wedding that is booked to be held within 6 months. At my hotel I offer the whole day so, ceremony with 50 guests, reception drinks, wedding breakfast, evening do 100 guests with late night sandwiches, disco, DJ and overnight accommodation for the bride and groom for under £2k.
I would recommend looking at some local hotels and see if they offer anything similar. I have seen offers like this in group on too for some places so keep your eyes open. If a venue is available on a Saturday they'll practically pay you to fill the space!

MetalLaLa · 14/02/2017 05:55

I got married at the Council House in Nottingham on a Saturday morning in the smallest room available, with four guests. This was with less than six weeks notice. Would this be something you could look into for a register office ceremony?

goldwrapped · 14/02/2017 11:28

Needmorespace... in my humble opinion, deliberately not telling couples they can marry for £46 is a sad state of affairs no matter what the reason, as it means couples may think they can't afford to get married. As the OP asked, I was offering up an alternative vision for a wedding ceremony and explaining how and why this could happen.
I don't want to spoil this thread by going in to the nitty gritty....
Good luck with your wedding plans OP!!

anonbecauseiwanna · 14/02/2017 11:39

What's your budget?

If you're not married yet, what anniversary are you talking about getting married on

2014newme · 14/02/2017 11:46

Hiring a house means sorting all the food and drink yourselves. Buying it, preparing it, serving it, clearing up. Is that what you want to spend your wedding doing?
Is there no nice pub nearby? Cheaper and easier

OneLumpOrSeven · 14/02/2017 12:09

If you're wanting the ceremony the same day as your party, are you really going to make your guests travel to Scotland for a party?

Have you looked at Nottingham university for hire? They also have the conference centre which has accommodation.

Piratefairy78 · 14/02/2017 12:38

I hope you find somewhere OP. A friend is a registrar and is always busy on Saturdays from April to October. She loves weddings which are really intimate like yours sounds.

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