Leaving baby to go on holiday

[CostaAddict]

We have booked to go to Florida for the 1st time this May. DH, me, DS1(7) & DS2 (8 months when we travel).

My mum has now offered to keep DS2 while we go as 1. It'll be 31degrees. 2. He won't get much enjoyment & will most likely spend a lot of time in a buggy. 3. We will get to spend one on one time with DS1 who has HFA and has had a really tough time with lots of hospital apps.

We would take my DSis who is 14 but gets on brilliantly with us and DS1.

We have considered leaving DS2 but now I'm feeling torn. He's not BF so practically I could leave him. Emotionally I'm struggling with it although I 100% trust my parents with the baby. They absolutely adore him and respect our parenting etc. I'm know I'll be judged by PILs about leaving him for 2 weeks though. AIBU?

I think it's fine to leave a baby and your baby would be fine, but I couldn't do 2 weeks. I did one week and I was miserable.

I wouldn't do it.

I think it would be fine, spoilt rotten by gp. I think it's different with gp, you aren't leaving them really. My kids go love them like we do and kids would be thrilled to have a hol with them. Longest I've left mine is 4 days. I do it once a year and agree with pp who said time away a good, even though it's not for you iyswim

Both DS1 & DS2 adore my parents. They see them almost every day and truthfully the baby is just as comfortable with my mum as he is me. I know she can comfort him when needed.

But I also know that I'm his mum and I'm his world. He has only been away from me for 6/7 hours longest and I that's as I had a funeral. He has spent half days with my mum and had no problems. He is only 5 months just now.

I know practically it would be more beneficial to leave him but I don't think I could. Like previous posters said it's two weeks. Thanks for all the honest opinions

I was going to say the same thing as AuntiePenguin - it is the classic age for separation anxiety and at this stage you do not know what DS2 is going to be like in that regard. I am sure he would be well looked after, but it is difficult to know what he will be like about being apart from you.

The idea of taking PIL with you and having them look after him when you and OH want to do things that your DS1 will enjoy is a good one - is that financially viable? Would your PIL be happy to do this?

I think it will be hard. I had to go away for work to the states when mine was7.5 months. She was fine with daddy (and granny who came to visit) but I was miserable and missed her loads. I made the trip as short as possible (just under a week) and that was too long.

Spoke to my parents and they are pricing to fly out too. They were invited to come right when we booked it but decided against it then. It's so much cheaper to fly now than it was when we booked!

They wouldn't do parks etc but at least we'd all be in the one place. Still not a definite but it's another option. Not financially possible for us to pay whole holiday for them but we would cover expenses out there even though my parents won't expect it. I'm very lucky to have them

Why do you think your ds2 won't enjoy the holiday? Obviously he won't know/care about it being Disneyland but he'll be on holiday with his family doing child orientated activities

Absolutely wouldn't leave him. It's not fair on him, could set him up with attachment issues and you won't relax and enjoy the holiday which your DS1 will pick up on.

At 8 months he'll still be pretty portable and Disney is well set up for families in your situation. Any chance you could manage the fare for your mum to come with you?

Great solution!

Aah, that's lovely OP.
8 - 9 months is when separation anxiety sets in.

You will be able to leave Ds2 with your parents while you take Ds1 to the parks, spend plenty of 1:1 time with Ds1, or swap and mix and match childcare as you all feel.

Ah cross post. Grandparents would love the parks, they are v family orientated and it's hard not to get carried away with it all. Plus there's an excellent 25% off offer on at the moment.

Ah what is 2 weeks in the grand scheme
of things? He will be fine at home and non the wiser when he is older. Lets not forget your parents have brought up babies and know what they are doing.
I say this with the point of view as having been to Florida on more than 1 occasion, I couldn't imagine the logistical nightmare of haul assing a buggy round the parks and not being able to go on rides without baby swapping etc. Plus its hot!
Also think of DS1, all the shit he has been going through with his hospital appts and what not he deserves the time of his life and Florida is defo somewhere you can stick your teeth into and go wild.
You will get home after 2 weeks and your baby will be absolutely fine, and pleased to see you all. Hardly worth a call to social services, your leaving him with people who love him as much as you do. Not bloody Hitler.

I think two weeks is too long. If it was a shorter time, yes, possibly.

I would struggle with leaving DC, tbh.

Gosh your parents sound so lovely!

We left DS with PILs for a week to go skiing, during which he turned 2.

They came & looked after him at our house & we celebrated his birthday when we got home.

I'm not sure I'd've done it for a fortnight though, or at the age of your little one.

One thing we did do before going though, was to sort out our wills, including guardians in case the plane crashed, having been married for 10 years without do it it!

*doing it not do it it FFS

I've taken a 7 month old to Florida for two weeks before. He was completely fine and we all had a fantastic time!

Costa you sound like you have a wonderful mum and dad!

8 month old on a ten hour flight 🤔 Think I might let his gps have the pleasure of his company. Fully focus on DS1 and reconnect as a couple. Time away is not always bad, though I did know a couple who left their 6 week old with the local sitter for two weeks in the sun.😕 Couldn't have done that.

Oh I do Chelazla. We have our moments but they have been there for every wonderful & shitty moment over the last 7 years.

DS1 has had an awful few years. I just wanted to give him something magical and I guess got carried away. He is so excited.

DS2 has so far been a very easy baby and we're praying he stays that way. I think two weeks is too long. A week I could maybe of coped with.

If cost is an issue why don't mum and dad fly out after a week? They'll need loads less spending money, you can focus on ds1 for a whole week like you wanted but you won't spend 2 weeks away from bubba? You could do parks first week and more chilled out things as a family the second.

We did Florida with DD when she was four months old and then DS when he was five months old (first time round the holiday was pre-booked before I got pregnant, second time we'd just had such a ball the first time we decided it was a good plan as it tied in with my maternity leave and financially worked quite well with DH's contracts etc). It's honestly not as logistically hideous as you might expect and both my DC coped well with the heat. We found the best way was doing early morning trips to the park. We stayed on property so could get free buses there - we'd get up, get on a bus to go to the park when it opened, spend two or three hours there (with fast passes and a bit of organisation you can pack a lot into that time with minimal faffing), finished up with some kind of snack / meal (including a posh ish meal one day at the Beauty and the Beast restaurant in the Magic Kingdom). Back to the hotel for lunchtime in time for naps and then playing and more napping by the pool (plenty of shade available) before dinner. A few evenings we actually went back into parks for early evening - we'd bath the baby and pop her in her buggy and shed sleep while we did other bits.

To be honest it's probably the cheapest it will ever be to take them to Disney World (no additional cost at all for under ones bar airport tax) and the memories we made (for us!) were priceless. Also there were a surprising amount of rides / things they could do even at that age in both Disney and Universal and single rider parent / switch out lines for the rides you want to do that they can't - from memory it could work so that your DS might actually be able to go on things with you twice IYSWI, once with you and once with DH while the other of you hold the baby.

Don't be put off by the logistics and feel free to DM if you want more info / suggestions (I'm a happy Disney World nerd and could blither on for ages!)

That said, if the logistics do get to you I'd be tempted to reschedule and do something else if at all possible. The idea of being away for two weeks would just be too long for me. If you do do it I recommend checking the T&Cs of your travel insurance so you know you could come back if you needed to.

If two weeks is the sticking point how about you fly back after one and leave ds1 with his dad for some male bonding?