to want to deduct money from our au pair's allowance to cover more than our half of the cost of her ticket?

[Mumpbump]

Before we agreed to employ her, our au pair said she was available for 2 years and arrived at the end of October. I always thought realistically that she would go home after 12 months because that it turned out that that was how long her return ticket is valid for. Last night, she mentioned that her boyfriend has booked a ticket to go home with her so I asked her when he had booked it for. They have apparently booked flights at the start of July.

I'm annoyed because the only reason I found this out was because she let it slip. I feel that she hasn't been entirely honest with us. We paid for half of her flight because we thought she would be here for 2 years and dh has said we should just carry on deducting £10 from her allowance until she goes to recoup more than the 50% that we agreed to pay. Do you think that is unreasonable?

Did she sign a 2yr contract?
Does it mention the air fare in the contract?

You don't have a contract with an au pair Whoooosh because they are not employees. They are part of your family, who help out in exchange for a room in your home & pocket money.
Mumpbump, I understand your frustration but unless you are paying above & beyond the normal au pair pocket money, I think deducting her original ticket fare will only engender a feeling of ill will. Better to make the most of her & have a positive atmosphere in the house.

We will recoup our share of the air fare in May and she will then be with us until the end of June so dh say we should just keep deducting the money for the last month or so. We wouldn't actually be deducting any greater amount of her share. I think it's the principle that's bugged him.

I must admit that I think it's a bit unfair myself to change the arrangement, but I do feel that she hasn't lived up to her side of the bargain. To date, she has said that she would go home for a bit and then come back, but I don't think I want her back if she is less than honest with us about something as important as this...

i would deduct the total amount you have paid, she has not kept to her agreemtent as was sneaky about telling you when she was leaving

But she is not an employee, she is part of your family helping you out for pocket money. There is no contractual obligation on either side. You give an indication of what you are looking for and they give an indication of what they may be able to do. It is an informal arrangement. If you want something more concrete, then you should employ a mother's help or a nanny.

If you expected her to have a ticket with a valid return for 2 years - that is impossible to get. She will have got one for 9-12 months and would then need to change the date closer the expiry time.

Did you seriously expect her to come for 2 years and not go home especially if in Europe.
How much is the cost of her airfare?

You are coming across as petty - unless we are talking 100s of pounds and a learning point to be more specific in your expectations and dealings going forward.

I think you have to remember this is a young person who is probably much less well off than you. Would you really begrudge her part of her “pocket money” over an air fare? Did tou say tou would only pay this if she could stay two years, and not otherwise?

Maybe it really is just for a break - she is allowed them.

How could it take til May for you to recoup the cost of the airfare? How much was it? How many hours does she help you per day?

Zombie thread everyone

I have been an au pair, and it is actually very difficult to have open conversations with your host family as you are in a very vulnerable position living in their home. Its a real power imbalance. Perhaps they were waiting to find a good time to discuss it.
Did you draw up a contract? There are au pair contracts, as it isn't just being part of the family its a service being provided and you are giving board and money. However these are hard to enforce I think.

I would explain to them that if they intend to leave for good in July and not come back then you will take a portion of the money back for the ticket per month from the money you give them. Based on the fact that you agreed a certain amount of time and it has not been honoured. I wouldn't deduct the whole 50% though, as she will still have been there for a number of months.

Just keep in mind that they are a young person who is probably missing home etc.