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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Told off for using P&C space in a van

31 replies

MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 18:44

It's a work van with a set of seats in the back. Would be lovely to run a second car with windows for the kids but we can't justify the expense. We hire a car for long hot journeys.

We parked in a nice convenient space in Sainsbury's car park and started to get out. A man drove past and challenged DH quite rudely saying 'So what, you've got kids in the back have you?' and drove off. Um, yes, yes we do, a 3yo and a 1yo, in the seats you can't see. We couldn't get them out quickly enough to wave at his retreating vehicle and are now smarting impotently as only two docile etiquette-following queuers can when wrongly accused on a matter of courtesy.

So aibu to worry that you've all been judging me for the last 3 years every time you've seen me parked in a P&C space?

OP posts:
EatSpamAmandaLamb · 11/02/2017 18:47

Was this in Gtr Manc? Because I saw the same argument today.

DoJo · 11/02/2017 18:50

Imagine how empty his life must be if this is how he gets his kicks?
On a separate note, do you mind me asking what kind of van you have? We looking for something to double as a child and equipment transporter and are overwhelmed with the options!

Eminybob · 11/02/2017 18:52

I'll be honest, if I see a van in a p&c space I usually assume no kids but needed a bigger space.
Doesn't bother me either way really, I certainly wouldn't say anything.
And what a dick to say something then drive off before you can answer!

Wolfiefan · 11/02/2017 18:56

Ha. I'm like Dojo. More interested in the vehicle. (I have a huge dog!)
Couldn't care less who parks in PC spaces. But if you parked in disabled without a BB I would say something or report.

Brightsmoke · 11/02/2017 19:10

Honestly OP, if you know you are using the spaces correctly, then sod them!

Wolfie, consider a pick up if you haven't already. We put mutts in the back, and have a nice clean, non-dog smelling space in the front :)

Original poster
MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 19:16

No EatSpam we're in the SE. I feel strangely relieved we're not the only ones. Was it a fiery exchange?

It's a Vauxhall Combo so barely bigger than most cars but takes a decent load with the back seats down. Not exactly snazzy but reliable and easy to handle. Definitely no need for extra parking space without the kids.

You've put your finger on it DoJo, not being able to clear things up quite distressed us. Plus it's got a work logo on it so won't be doing us any favours if people routinely think we're being selfish.

I think I'm secretly hoping someone will hop on the threat and say 'it was me, I understand now. You're exonerated!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 19:18

Thank you all for the responses. It's actually really reassuring.

OP posts:
EatSpamAmandaLamb · 11/02/2017 19:20

It was fairly firey, yes! My DB and I took quite a long time to unpack the two bags of shopping into the boot Grin

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 11/02/2017 19:22

Is it your own business and if so, do you have a Facebook profile? If so I'd be tempted to post a slightly PA pic of the family in the vehicle.

TinselTwins · 11/02/2017 19:24

I think some people haunt the P&C space because they feel like taking out their bad mood on someone else.

If you go there with anything other than a family saloon or people carrier be prepared to be yelled at first, questions asked later…

I avoid P&C

TinselTwins · 11/02/2017 19:26

P&C space drivers are also often the rudest and most inconsiderate, they will run over your child just to get in or out of their space. Most other car park area users are more considerate and look out for pedestrians.

OP don't worry about what P&C types think of you, they're an odd (and angry) breed!

Original poster
MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 19:26

I would have done the same EatSpam! Jennifer that's a great idea!

OP posts:
AntiHop · 11/02/2017 19:28

Could you display one of those baby on board signs?

TinselTwins · 11/02/2017 19:32

Could you display one of those baby on board signs?

Why? to pander to the P&C users who can't get their head round the fact that not every parent swaps their vehicle for a "mom car" as soon as they drop a sprog?

Maybe other people could just not be asshats and learn to ask nicely when in doubt

TheAntiBoop · 11/02/2017 19:34

I suppose it depends on the van - if it has sliding doors I'm not sure you need a wider space.

But I'm always amazed by people who try and police them. Just let him have his rant to all and sundry who will probably not care a jot and don't wast your own brain time on him!

Original poster
MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 19:34

Maybe this is the right scenario for a baby on board sign! I think we may indeed avoid them in future. It's helpful to have a space to safely (well hopefully) stand the 3yo old near me while I get the baby out and to manoeuvre trolleys and infants but actually the back doors slide so I guess we have less need than other parents.

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 11/02/2017 19:36

It's helpful to have a space to safely (well hopefully) stand the 3yo old near me while I get the baby out and to manoeuvre trolleys and infants

in theory, but in practice the angry way that people park in them and behave policing them ends up making them less safe than regular spaces

Original poster
MaryJonesSpaceDetective · 11/02/2017 19:37

Cross post TheAntiBoop. Probably you're right, though it does help.

I guess he was trying to do the right civic-minded thing, sort of, rudely. It's a good thing he drove off so quickly so I couldn't run after him clasping DD to my bosom and gesticulating...

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 11/02/2017 19:37

even if you drive the approved people carrier they'll still speed up and run over your kid so they can get to the non parent looking car after you roll down their window and yell at them!

thestarryeyedsurprise · 11/02/2017 19:45

Theanti whilst parent and child spaces are wider this isn't the only reason to use them. They are closer to the stores meaning it's safer to get children there without the need to travel through a busy car park with childen in tow.

needapaddle · 11/02/2017 19:49

My youngest today as we were sat in traffic asked me why does the car in front have a 'baby on board' sticker. My answer was 'no idea' - has always baffled me, is it a boast (well done you, made a baby) is is a warning (may be sleep deprived and drive erratically..) or is it a weird entitled thing where the driver expects people to reverently slow down to a crawl as their special snowflake is on board (surely if the person reading it is a good/bad driver then reading that will make fuck all difference!)!?

Anyway, here is my answer - you should definitely have one for arseholes like that so they don't make stupid assumptions!

HorridHenryrule · 11/02/2017 19:51

You did nothing wrong try and put it behind you.

MixedGrill · 11/02/2017 19:55

So should people with kids in Berlingos, or people carriers with sliding doors, not use P&C spaces?

Goodness, a lot of notices and an understanding of hidden etiquette is needed to manage a car park.....

RedSauce · 11/02/2017 19:55

I wouldn't let it bother you so much. Guy was obviously having a bad day/life.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 11/02/2017 19:57

Needapaddle it's my understanding that the woman who invented the baby on board signs did so as she was knocked unconscious in a car accident (or someone she knew was), and there was a baby in the back that was hidden in the accident and who wasn't looked for and only when the woman came round could she tell the emergency services that her baby was still in the car.

Or it could be an urban myth. Either way, I never use one.