To think it's okay for us to spend time with our dc during half term?

[Everyoneafter3]

MIL is upset with us atm because we don't need her to look after our dc this half term. Not only does dh have tons of leave he needs to use, we like to see our dc!! We both work and four days a week they are in after school club: half term is a few days when we can spend time with our dc.

The dc don't really enjoy spending time with MIL: she treats them like babies and doesn't do anything with them due to her elderly dog. Even tv is either CBeebies or Disney princess which oddly the 9 yo finds boring.

Even with all that, we want to spend time away from work and with our dc. Is this so terrible? I know she wants to help but I can't stand the guilty tripping of arranging to spend time with our own children.

Oh I'd leave her to it, get dh to deal with her
Maybe invite her out for a coffee with you all one day though?

They're your children, first and foremost. You have no need to feel guilty, whatsoever. Be open and honest with your MIL about what you're doing and why. If she chooses to be difficult, it's really not your problem.

That's the thing: dh has already planned to spend at least one day with her and the dc during the week! It's never enough for her.

God she sounds hard work !

Just tell her you're having a holiday at home & make a big deal about how you're planning it just like you would a foreign holiday only saving money by staying at Chez Everyone. Get the kids to send her postcards from their 'holiday' too.
But the woman is barking!

We've told her before how much we value our time with them and we look forward to the school holidays as a result. Her response is always that she "misses them soooo much". So do we!

She's reasonably local, btw, and we see her weekly.

So she's upset with you, so what? Her happiness is not your responsibility. Let her be upset.

We have actually gone away to avoid this conversation before...

Do you usually let her help with holiday childcare because if you will be asking for help during the summer holidays you might want to bear that in mind and let her have them one day this week or an afternoon or something at least.

She does a day or two in the summer. We use leave/flexi/paid childcare for the rest.

She lives a very chaotic life. We just can't trust her to do much in the way of childcare.

Tell your husband to deal with it. She's not having them this week, you are. End of.

I get this kind of thing from my mum, who wants us all to visit her in the hols, but we're going to a cottage in wales with our children. sigh.

who usually looks after them during half terms?

We do! We save up leave and flexi and I have one day off a week so that's one day automatically covered.