Is this embarrassing

[Intonational]

At work there are general male and female toilets and also a disabled toilet people go into for more privacy. Went into disabled one and was just standing in front of mirror to do my makeup when company boss walked in on me and looked embarrassed. He could see I was standing up facing mirror and fully dressed though. I just said it was fine and he went away. What should I have said? Do I look like a weirdo now?!

I actually think it's ok to do what she did and sensible to leave the door open. That way when someone wants to use it she knows and can excuse herself

But she didn't; the other person wanting to use it was the person who left.

We're saying her boss may have an invisible disability, but we don't know the Op doesn't have one... I do, I still apply makeup too.

We're saying her boss may have an invisible disability, but we don't know the Op doesn't have one... I do, I still apply makeup too

She hasn't said so. Her only justification is the mirror is better. There's nothing in her posts to show she needed to use it.

@strugglingstepdad, I say those things, it's an accessible toilet not a reserved toilet. Normally get shouted at on MN for saying that, though.

Anything disability-related, food, cleaning or washing... the MN hot topics.

Anything disability-related, food, cleaning or washing... the MN hot topics.

Are you for real?

You are putting food, cleaning and washing in the same list as disability rights? And describing them as 'MN hot topics', as opposed to some MNers advocating for people with disabilities to have fair access to basic human and civil rights like everyone else?

I hope that this is a joke and I just didn't get it.

Gwenhwyfar, the type of IBS which results in needing the toilet urgently certainly is a disability.

dailyshite

I think they meant, by 'hot topics', subjects which are likely to get lots of replies and a little heated debate.

Do basic and civil human rights mean having an exclusive bathroom or simply one you have access to? P&C spaces and blue badges and all that kind of thing pretty much ensure a good / long thread with a few flounces, a couple of 'peace and love' reminders someone (you, in this case) taking it thick..

I don't think it was a joke although equally, I don't think you got it.

Basic human and civil rights is having the same access to the things that you need in life as anyone else and not being restricted because of age, ability / disability, gender, ethnicity or any protected characteristic. In this case, someone not being able to go to the toilet because their access to the accessible toilet is blocked.

Listing disability rights along with cleaning etc is demeaning, reductionist and insulting.

I don't know what taking it thick means, but if it means taking it seriously - yes I am. Because ignoring and minimising things like this are how they are allowed to continue and why people in 2017 still end up having to lie on the floor of toilets to change, or soil themselves because they can't get into an accessible toilet, or wait in the rain because they can't get on a bus, or miss out on play because there is no appropriate play equipment. This is the reality of life for many people.

In terms of the OP I don't know whether the manager had a disability or not, but attitudes of people who either don't want to or can't see that other people may need additional resources in order to live an equal life and can't accept that doesn't make them somehow privileged, should be challenged.

I do think people are talking about different things sometimes, and that's what causes the problems.
At my former (large, corporate, open plan office) the 'accessible' toilet by the lifts had three symbols on it - man/woman/wheelchair - signifying that it was available for all to use, but suitable/accessible for disabled use.
The block of female loos was way down the other end of the corridor, so people in my part of the office used the accessible loo to save time.

"Most women changing any sort of sanitary product will have their handbag with them" - sorry, but this just isn't true! In fact, walking through an open plan office to go to the loo with your handbag would be a bit like waving a sign saying' oh look, I must be having my period, as I'm taking my bag into the loo'

Also the positive advantage about a mooncup is that you don't have to faff about with water & wipes and things, and to be honest, if I'm going to be in a office for 10 hours a day I'd like to be able to do more than just rinse it with bottled water. And I'd like to be able to wash my hands without an audience!

Lots of places now have toilets which are 'accessible', but not just for disabled users e.g. Costa ?

the hot topics that everyone has an opinion on.

With extra doses of irrationality.

There was no disabled person in OP's story, btw. There was an accessible room. Is all.

I think I will aspire to have no opinion on those topics in future.

There was no disabled person in OP's story, btw. There was an accessible room. Is all

We don't know that. All we know is the OP uses the disabled loo to put her make up on.

And I'd like to be able to wash my hands without an audience!

Gosh - I hope you and the poster who can't touch up her make up in front of other women never meet up in a public lavatory. It would be excruciating for both of you.

Are you seriously saying that changing your moon cup means your hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red ?

If so, you might try wiping the blood off with a tissue or toilet paper before you leave the cubicle.

In my work the disabled toilet is used by muslims for their washing prior to praying 5x daily, and by everyone else for poos. It's normally flooded and pretty disgusting :/

And I don't see a problem with people who aren't disabled using it. I use it for mooncup stuff too on occasion. If a disabled person needs it they can wait 5 mins just as a non disabled person would if there happened to be someone in the normal toilet already. (There are no people in wheelchairs in our work. If someone needs it for some invisible disability they can easily nip to one on another floor)

carefreee, it is frequently the case that the nature of disability is such that a disabled person cannot wait to use a toilet because otherwise they will soil themselves. Sure, they may have to wait if a disabled person is in there, but that is no reason for a non-disabled person to increase that risk by using it when they have plenty of non-disability accessible toilets available for their use.

There are two single unisex loos on my floor, plus 2 disabled loos. One unisex loo is often disgusting (previous thread! Seems to be resolved now...) One loo (not so disgusting anymore) had no paper for three days. Both disabled loos had paper and there are no disabled people! Saying that, I have mobility issues, but I'm not registered disabled. I use the disabled loo regularly. The full length mirrors are useful.

At the DH's work, there are often up to 20 people, one loo. One man in a wheelchair works part time during some day times. The offices are shared between 2 sets of people, different jobs. One lot work night shifts but have no access to the disabled loo as it needs a radar key. Bonkers.

You go to work to.....work. Not put on makeup. If you are one of those women who won't be without it, you should be factoring time into doing it at home before you go to work, not skiving off to go hide in the disabled toilet when you're meant to be working.
As someone who has an invisible disability heavily including toilet use, i can't use regular loos. In fact things are so bad atm i can't use any toilet but the one in my home as they just aren't equpped with what i need.
Bladder and bowel problems are horrible things to live with, for all you know, your boss has IBS, Crohns, IBD, bowel or bladder incontinence, or urge incontinence where he needs to get to the toilet NOW. A lot of adults who have to use the equivalent of an adult nappy, cannot comfortably change in a regular loo, and majority of people with bowel or bladder issues prefer to use disabled toilets for the space, proximity of sink to toilet to clean up, and privacy to preserve their dignity. I wouldn't begrudge pregnant women or women having continence issues temporarily after birth using them, i know they can't wait in queues, but anyone using disabled loos who doesn't need to, is disgusting. Especially pp's work colleagues who use it just to have a peaceful shit with a paper!

"You go to work to.....work. Not put on makeup. If you are one of those women who won't be without it, you should be factoring time into doing it at home before you go to work, not skiving off to go hide in the disabled toilet when you're meant to be working."

Oh, don't be silly. People are allowed a couple of minutes break in most workplaces.
My sympathies on your illness, but people can put makeup on at work, just like they can take a minute to put a cardigan on if it's cold, make a cup of tea, etc.

I agree employers can spare a few minutes if employees need to redo make up (and of course there are lunch breaks and tea breaks available)

Let us hope however that employees will bear in mind the second and third paragraphs of Almost's post before deciding that the prospect of another female colleague seeing them doing so entitles them to use the disabled loo.