To be feeling quite hurt about this?

[Anot]

Bought my sister theatre tickets for her joint Christmas and birthday present and gave her them on Christmas day. The show is next weekend. Sister has just text asking if we can possibly rearrange our theatre show as she has received an invitation today inviting her to her very good friend's 'hen party lunch' next weekend which clashes with our theatre show.

I phoned my sister and explained that the tickets could not be exchanged and were non refundable. She seems to think that this is okay. I'm not 'losing out' as she's not expecting me to buy her anything else to replace the tickets. So i've not exactly lost any further money. If anything, i''ve saved on lunch and train fare, according to her.

Basically, this friend's proper hen party is next month. But this lunch has been suggested by relatives who won't be going to the proper hen party as a bit of a spur of the moment thing and she wants all her bridesmaids there (including my sister).

To be honest, i didn't really want to go to the theatre show anyway. It's not a show i'd enjoy and i wasn't particularly looking forward to spending hours alone with my sister as conversation quickly becomes stale and forced between us. However, i had hoped to try and get a bit closer with my siblings this year (there are a fair few of us, none of us are particularly close in relationship even though we all live very nearby one another) and considered this afternoon out with my sister as a big step towards a better relationship. However, now i just feel hurt that she'd rearrange so nonchalantly.

I've looked in to selling the tickets on gumtree etc but the theatre says they will only allow the tickets to be collected without the payment card being shown at the box office if i provide a letter with all my details saying that i give permission for (whoever buy them) to collect instead of me. Not comfortable at all about this and would rather they just went unused. No one i know personally would want to go with me as it's a rather niche/contemporary show with my sister being the only person i know who would like such a thing.

Why am i feeling weepy over this? I didn't really want to go. I don't need to buy her an alternative present. I'm saving on lunch and transportation costs. So why do I feel so hurt?

Anot I am sorry this has turned out how it has. Why do you feel hurt? Because you have been. Because, in your own words "This was me trying to think of something meaningful as she never wants or needs anything."

But, your sister did not know that.

In my view she was wrong to cancel on you but she clearly did not feel that; also that's history as she now has. You've saved yourself money, a babysitter and also sitting through a show you did not particularly want to go to.

Perhaps next birthday/Christmas see if together you and sis can come up with something you would both like, consult on date (as I am sure you did this time) and maybe you will find the spa day/cookery day/restaurant/skiing lesson in the snowdome, or whatever you decide on, something that you will bond over.

Maybe you could find something you can both do but both pay for, her pay for you, you pay for her etc.

Don't give up, your intentions are great. But if you don't get a breakthrough, at least you know you tried and that is very kind indeed at least in my book.