How long did it take for your LOs to settle into nursery?

[MadJeffBarn]

My son, 2, started nursery beginning of January. He goes two afternoons a week, but he doesn't seem to be settling at all. It's not for work purposes but rather socialising as we don't really have any friends with kids his age, and every drop off and pick up is rather dramatic. The staff assure me he settles but it seems he needs alot of 1-1 time. It's been 6 weeks now, wibu to pull him out til he's a bit older or persevere with it?

It took about 5 weeks for ds to settle properly (doing 4 full days a week at 12mo). It was awful - crying at drop off every day (and at pick up to begin with) and being very unsettled and clingy at home and clearly not happy. But we persevered and he loves it there now and it's done wonders for his development.

It was our own fault because he'd hardly ever been left with anyone else, dh had probably only had him solo a handful of times, so he was very dependent on me

They are all different.

Dd1 wailed and clung to my legs in a very distressing manner every day for a year (from 12 months). She got better at 2 when we had to increase her days from 2 to 3. The increase in days somehow made her more comfortable. She still got a bit weepy at 4 when I left her there despite having been at the same (very lovely) nursery for years.

Dd2 was fine from day one. She toddles in very happily and is too busy to say goodbye most days. She also started at 12 months at the same nursery with the same staff. She is nearly 17 months now.

I think a lot of if can be down to personality- it certainly seems to be in our family. Dd1 is much more dramatic and emotional than dd2 seems to be. She is also less independent of us and just a more sensitive soul than dd2.

Our first cried for about 10 minutes every morning for about 1/2 a term. After that few minutes he had a great time. He was there for 4 1/2 hours, 5 days a week. By the end of the 1/2 term he would go to the car with his bag and shoes waiting to be taken.

Our second let go of my hand, gave me a kiss and never looked back. They've loved it since their first minute there.

Started at about 17 months, only 2 hours a week. Cried a lot for weeks, then just when i left for a few more weeks, now he loves it.

About 2 mins at 6 months. As she got older when I picked her up she always tried to walk back in! She obviously knew where the experts were. We had a fab little neighbourhood nursery though at a time where there was still some Sure Start funding so it was not a commercial venture. It sounds cheesy but it exuded love and care from the moment you walked in.

Ds sobbed at drop off every single day until he started reception (childminder then nursery from 10 months). I won't lie, it was very stressful. However, I knew he was happy as Larry once I'd left, so had to just steel myself and walk away. He now goes into his reception classroom with a smile on his face and loves it.

4 months (inc Christmas and illness breaks). In the country I am in the parents stay with them for a week, then you slowly increase the amount of time you go away from 15mins to however long you need them to stay. My DS was annoyed his baby sister was allowed to go with me and he stayed there. Took us ages but managed it without tears on the whole. He started when he was 2 and goes every morning.

2 days a week might not give him long enough to get used to it at first. Could you try putting him in every morning for a week to let him get used to everything? That's what our nursery offered and mine settled very quickly. They were fantastic. I told them dd shrank away from new people so they all deliberately did not approach her and let her come to them. I saw with my own eyes a carer I had never met follow this and sit down near her with toys I had told them she liked, not approach her or make eye contact and let dd approach. I was very impressed.

My 1 yr old took a couple of weeks to settle at 3 days a week. But probably a good few months to go without being at all worried that I'm leaving her!

If nursery is purely for socialisation you could just take him to mum & toddler groups if you feel nursery isn't working.
2 afternoons a week might not be enough for him to settle iyswim?

Ds1 was immediately fine, ds2 it's been a month and he's just improving now, hasn't cried at drop off for a week and is now napping better there than at home (don't get me started on that...). Agree that 2 afternoon isn't much, mine do 2.5 days a week (because I'm working)

The two afternoons a week is the only availability the nursery had. He's funded so we sort of had to take what we could get, as my daughter went to this nursery and we absolutely loved it. The nursery insists he's fine when we leave, it's just dropping off and picking up. He absolutely hates doors being shut on him which is part of the issue. We do go to mum and baby groups when I'm not working. It's abit of a silly situation really because DH is the sahp but hates taking him to toddler groups (think he feels uncomfortable being a dad there) so unless I'm there to take him, he doesn't do anything other than the weekly shop. They play loads at home but really he needs to be playing with kids his own age. I'll have a look around and see if there are any nurseries with more availability