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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

children being held back

45 replies

allthelove · 10/02/2017 12:52

It's not so much of an aibu as an is this something other people are coming across.

I'm in Scotland. Children who are born between 1 march and 28 Feb are all in the same year group and start in august meaning the eldest are 5.5 and the youngest 4.5.

I've just applied to put my DD into a council nursery in August and the nursery teacher has said that she doesn't stand a great chance of getting in as 5 out of the 8 who were meant to be leaving in august to start school are being kept back a year since they were born in Jan/Feb.

I asked her about it and she said that off record it's not a practice she agrees with as

  1. it stops younger children attending
  2. it's becoming a fashionable thing to do
  3. unless a child has serious developmental issues/ delays, she thinks they would benefit from school rather than another year in nursery.

This teacher is 60ish and has nearly 40 years experience in primary education so I'm thinking she knows what she's talking about. However, is this something that's quite common?

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 10/02/2017 12:55

Completely disagree with her. Most research states that later school entry is best.

allthelove · 10/02/2017 12:57

But at the expense of younger children not being able to go to that nursery? I'm not sure that's very fair. I guess that's the point I'm making

OP posts:
SalmonFajitas · 10/02/2017 12:58

The research disagrees with her, another year of play based education is beneficial, I would definitely do it if I could.

SalmonFajitas · 10/02/2017 13:00

But at the expense of younger children not being able to go to that nursery Surely that's an issue with the nursery admission policy? They could offer each child only one year in nursery if they wanted to be able to provide for more children. Surely the older children faced the same issue getting a nursery place when they first applied?

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 10/02/2017 13:00

The later the bet, all studies show so far. Where I am an extra free year of pre school has been brought in to stop parents sending children who are too young to school, the aim is that no child under 5 will start school. Mine were all 5 and the difference between them and children in the class who are nearly a year younger is immense.

luckylucky24 · 10/02/2017 13:00

A lot of nurseries have waiting lists and in England you cannot hold back a year. I guess it is just unfortunate but not the parents problem.

allthelove · 10/02/2017 13:01

If that's the case then surely there needs to be more places available at nurseries.

Or the school age is changed?

OP posts:
Chelazla · 10/02/2017 13:15

I'd 100% give mine another year in nursery

AllTheBabies · 10/02/2017 13:24

All evidence disagrees with her. I have a January born and will definitely be deferring for a year.

Groovee · 10/02/2017 13:29

They are NOT being held back! They are deferring entry to primary school! An extra year of play is very beneficial. Jan/Feb children.

My Dd is a January birthday. She didn't get a place until she was 3 years 7 months at nursery. So theoretically she wouldn't have had a full 2 years at nursery which March to August children do tend to get.

Your nursery teacher is talking bollocks and I'd be concerned about sending my child there! I work in nursery and I doubt any colleagues would agree with her.

LunaLoveg00d · 10/02/2017 13:33

They aren't being "held back" as that sounds very negative. They are being deferred. Totally different. Also they aren't getting any longer in nursery. A child who is 3 today will get a funded place in nursery at the start of the Easter term. That child will do 1 year and 1 term in nursery if she is not deferred, 2 years and 1 term if she is deferred.

My oldest is a March birthday - funded for 2 years and 1 term at nursery before he went to school. EXACTLY THE SAME.

Personally I'd be looking for a different nursery if a nursery staff member is so totally clueless about her job, the children and the research around deferral and starting school later. If there aren't enough nursery places then that is a totally different issue and one which should be brought up with the Council and your MSP.

tabulahrasa · 10/02/2017 13:34

They only had 8 places? There's the problem.

welovepancakes · 10/02/2017 13:41

www.gov.scot/Publications/2012/05/7940/4

Lochan · 10/02/2017 14:16

It's perfectly normal in Scotland for children born in Jan or Feb to request deferred places. You were just unfortunate that there were so many in the rear above your DD.

I agree with everyone else - the nursery teacher is a) talking nonsense and b) shouldn't be talking to you about other children.

yestheyhavethesamedad · 10/02/2017 14:44

my youngest dd is an end of jan baby, I deferred her entry to school as although academically ready, emotionally she needed another year of nursery, also because the way her birthday falls she missed the January intake for nursery and didn't start until after the easter holidays so didn't get a place in nursery until may so would only have had 1 year and 2 mths of nursery and that wasn't enough .
She is now in primary 2 and loving it even though she is the oldest in the class

LindyHemming · 10/02/2017 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yestheyhavethesamedad · 10/02/2017 14:52

oh and I was told by the teacher whilst registering my dd for school and requesting a deferment at the same time that they would always recommend deferment if possible, for jan/feb babies , why else do you think that they are automatically granted , whilst sept/dec births have to be specially authorised .

EB123 · 10/02/2017 15:06

She sounds like she needs a course in child development.

LindyHemming · 10/02/2017 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elllicam · 10/02/2017 15:18

I think it is getting more common. My DS1 has a December birthday but all his little friends are January/February. He is the only one starting school this year, the rest have all deferred. My DS3 (newborn) is an end of January birthday and we will defer.

Elllicam · 10/02/2017 15:18

We are Scotland too.

girlelephant · 10/02/2017 15:19

I'm also in Scotland & of the nurseries near me it's common to have waitlists for both under 3s and over 3s.

I know many nursery staff and primary teachers and all say children cope best with school when they are of higher age at registration

Sirzy · 10/02/2017 15:22

We are Uk and ds is a November birthday so waiting a year to start school wouldn't have been an option for him. I wish it had been as he was nowhere near ready for school when he started - he has since been diagnosed autistic - and I believe being able to wait a year longer til he was ready would have been much better for him.

I know someone who managed to fight for a summer born to "repeat" reception and it has been much better for him as he was in a better place to start.

Sirzy · 10/02/2017 15:25

That should say England not U.K.! Blush

weegiemum · 10/02/2017 15:31

I have 2 feb born (and a november born) and deferred. Best decision! They were socially and emotionally much more ready for school.

My MIL was a nursery teacher her whole career and no-one was more delighted than she was that they were getting an extra year of nursery - the teacher you talked to isn't up to date at all if thats what she said. I'm actually quite shocked to hear it.

My dc are now teenagers, and the benefits of deferring are seen at secondary transition and exams/school leaving as well. If I had the chance again I'd defer dd2 if I could.