to feel pressured?

[DorothyL]

Dd's clarinet teacher approached us saying a friend of hers knew somebody with a clarinet to sell, would we be interested.

We agreed to go and try it which we did, but were not convinced about buying it. 10 days later the clarinet teacher phoned asking us to make a decision. So I contacted the seller to say we felt such a purchase needed careful consideration and that we were planning to try other clarinets first before deciding, when he had time.

He didn't reply, instead the clarinet teacher emailed me today to say she had bought the clarinet herself because the seller needed a quick sale! Adding that her financial situation didn't allow her to keep it for long, plus some advice which other make to try at the shop and not to use ebay.

Aibu to feel a bit miffed? The seller obviously really needed the cash, but I feel like an urgency has been forced upon us that I really didn't want or need! We did want to buy a clarinet eventually, but there was no rush. Plus I feel uneasy about a private sale as it won't include any service or comeback if something goes wrong.

Just not sure what to reply to the clarinet teacher!

I never had it, we only tried it at the seller's house.

Music teachers often buy them for studenyts when they see a bargain. Sge probably has a few parents in the same situation and wanted to give you first refusal. In your position I'd buy new though. Second hand clarinets and flutes get worse with age and are harder to play well. (Flautist here). Just tell her straight out you don't like that one.

She's also told you what to look for at a shop.... clearly indicating her approval that you buy from a shop. I don't see any issue here. She's not expecting you to buy the clarinet from her. All she's said is that she's bought to sell on and can't hold for you.

I think YABU by hugely reading too much into this and really drawing it out. Just tell her you're not about to make a purchase of any sort, which is how it seems.

Like PP I think she's just saying she can't hang onto it for ages so if you don't buy it she'll sell it someone else which is obviously totally fine.

It doesn't sound as if this had anything to do with you. You turned it down, the teacher chose to buy it. Maybe she thought you would buy it of her, which is odd as you didn't want to buy it from the original seller, but that is her mistake. Like I say, nothing to do with you.
So tell the music teacher you are not going to buy it, and if she seems annoyed, point out she should have checked it out with you before she acted.

YABU to make an issue out of it.
It is kind of her to have linked you up. when you went to try and didn't let the seller know either way, she probably felt a bit 'stuck in the middle'.
I don't know why you just couldn't say 'no thinks' - all your replies do seem to imply that there is every chance you will buy it, so, most decent people would hang on for a couple of days, thinking you had first refusal.
The fact she has bought it suggests to me it's a good 'vfm' purchase and she's just letting you know - as you've still not said you don't want it - that you need to buy it soon if you are going to buy it, or she'll sell it to someone else. You just need to let people know what you are doing and not leave them wondering.