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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let DS15 wax his top lip?

48 replies

yousignup · 09/02/2017 13:24

Poor DS15 is very upset with his very dark, fuzzy top lip. He is very very pale and blonde, and, to be honest, it doesn't look good. He wants to use ladies' wax, not shave. Is this OK? Will it grow back thicker or worse? It's only his lip, nowhere else. I have no brothers, so no idea what to advise.

OP posts:

Original poster

yousignup · 09/02/2017 13:51

Thank you Kurri for the recommendation! Like I say, I've no idea where to start with this.

OP posts:

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 09/02/2017 13:52

Sure let him do it, he'll only do it once lol!

Original poster

yousignup · 09/02/2017 13:52

Thank you Catsmother. That's exactly what I was wondering.

OP posts:

user892 · 09/02/2017 13:52

Veet. Same as shaving but no risk of cuts and stubble ends grow through softer. Downsides: possible skin reactions and redness for an hour or so. Might be able to get facial / sensitive version.

EdmundCleverClogs · 09/02/2017 13:53

If he waxes, we'll all hear the howls of pain from our respective homes, I'm sure .

Get him a half decent razor if you can (Gillette are good), and some shaving foam (for sensitive skin). If he's worried and he hasn't a dad/grandfather/older brother to ask, I'm sure there would be some instructions online/YouTube.

Tutu1000 · 09/02/2017 13:54

My Ds is 11 and already has a very dark, fine tash which he is a bit sensitive about. He has Asperger syndrome and is absolutely terrified of cutting himself (and he doesn't like change). My DP has said the best thing to do will be to get him an electric razor to start with. He says a small travel one will probably be best for a teenager. He said thats what he started with as he thinks he was about 18 before he could shave himself with a normal razor without leaving the bathroom looking like a slaughter house. Ds's tash is still in place and likely to be there for quite a while yet.

Agrumpymum · 09/02/2017 14:00

DS is the same age and got a pretty basic electric razor for Christmas. He was nervous using it the first time but said it was just a strange, tickly sensation and not sore. He doesn't have to shave very frequently, maybe once/twice a week. Other DS is 13 and pretty hairy so will need one too soon.

itsbetterthanabox · 09/02/2017 14:00

Please don't wax it.
Male facial hair is deeper and denser than women's. It will most likely bleed.
Get him an electric shaver then there's no risk of cutting himself.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2017 14:03

I would advise him to shave it rather than waxing. The first time I tried to wax my upper lip, I ended up with a very unattractive scab right the way across, because the wax took off skin as well as the hair! Operator error, I am sure - but a razor is much more foolproof, in my opinion, @yousignup.

As my boys got towards the age when I assumed they would start to shave, I thought it would be one of those rites of passage, where their dad or I would help them buy their first razor, and treat them to some shaving gel and after shave - but they just bought razors and started shaving when they needed to, without any fanfare or hoo ha. I know it sounds stupid, but I wanted a bit of hoo ha. Maybe just even hoo.

jj21 · 09/02/2017 14:06

We bought DS an inexpensive electric razor to deal with his thick dark 'tache. He was 12 and very worried about cutting himself but hated being teased - he was far and away the first of his friends to have facial hair but is also the youngest boy in his year and has some SN. The electric razor was (and still is) fine for him to manage and he has never hurt himself with it. He uses it when he feels like it - so sometimes he has his 'tache and sometimes not. Now he is a bit older, some of the other boys also shave, so he doesn't feel so much the odd one out. The next step is going to be to get him to tackle the rest of his face, which is starting to look rather hairy....

statetrooperstacey · 09/02/2017 14:08

Razor definitely, either kind but don't let him wax it or cream it. If it's waxed often enough now it will possibly never grow back properly when he is an adult which could make him look odd. Cream will leave him with a completely smooth strip under his nose which will be noticeable and also probably red raw!

akkakk · 09/02/2017 14:10

I am male (hopefully relevant! )
Wet shaving requires good technique and it is not intuitive- most people starting go against the growth and you should go with it... wet shaving long term is a good skill and will give a closer shave, but start him off with electric - a razor from Braun or Phillips will be good, doesn't need to be expensive and you don't need the clever ones with cleaning systems... the strip ones (foil) or the rotating heads - both give good results, each suits different people and the only way to know is to try, but at his age facial hair won't yet be growing fully as it will as an adult, so irrelevant for now... once purchased, for an adult shaving daily the heads and foils need replacing every 6-12 months as they blunt, but for a teenage lad, possibly less of an issue initially, he will know when it stops shaving as well...

But don't start on wet shaving unless you have a male who can teach him, shaving around the chin, throat, Adam's apple etc. is tricky

Elendon · 09/02/2017 14:25

I think I'll suggest to my son to wax his lip hair. He hates it.

Thanks for this post OP.

Waxing it is. He already goes to a hairdresser and they have all waxing facilities.

ACE!

Elendon · 09/02/2017 14:28

His hair at the moment is the same as a woman's hair. It shouldn't be painful much.

It would mean the hair gets less. If he's anything like his dad he will have no body hair, leg hair, fine arm hair and chin and lip hair only.

His dad always regretted shaving.

steff13 · 09/02/2017 14:31

I would encourage him to shave. I think waxing your lip is very painful. And I say that as someone who regularly gets a Brazilian bikini wax.

Elendon · 09/02/2017 14:37

Steff would you encourage a 15 year old teenage female to get her upper lip waxed if it was hairy?

Or would you encourage her to shave?

Elendon · 09/02/2017 14:38

Shaving makes the hair blunter and grow thicker.

If he doesn't like to shave (too much faff) or doesn't want hair, then he's perfectly entitled to get his upper lip waxed.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2017 15:02

"Steff would you encourage a 15 year old teenage female to get her upper lip waxed if it was hairy?

Or would you encourage her to shave?"

I know that wasn't addressed to me, but based on my own experience, I would advise a teenage girl to pluck upper lip hair.

In my time I have tried bleaching (worked OK to disguise the hair, but needs redoing fairly often), waxing (left me with a red raw upper lip that scanned and looked so pretty ), and shaving (left my upper lip feeling oddly 'sticky' - because it took off all the hair, not just the thicker ones) and plucking (a bit eye-watering until you get used to it, but allows you to do a very precise job).

WallToWallBastards · 09/02/2017 15:11

I had a very thick black moustache from being about 10, waxed it once and never again. I shave it myself. But I know quite a few blokes who wax their beards for the precision. But I do think voluntary waxing is a bit odd. I suspect if you take him to be done professionally it will stop him buying shit wax strips and taking half his face off with it though.

WallToWallBastards · 09/02/2017 15:12

Odd for everyone, not just men I mean

uggmum · 09/02/2017 15:26

My ds is 14. He shaves his with an electric shaver. It grows slowly so he only does it once a month. It as inexpensive and effective.
When he develops hair on his chin and face I think he will progress to wet shaving.

Fabellini · 09/02/2017 15:36

Both my teenage dss have electric razors - Boots quite often have half price promotions on, I didn't pay more than £50 for either of them. One is a Philips and one is a Braun - just so there's no fighting about which belongs to who - but they seem very similar.
They both manage fine with them, and ds1 has asd and learning difficulties, but still easily gets a good result.
Ds2 had his mono brow waxed into two eyebrows by my friend who owns a salon once....it was his idea, and it looked pretty good, but he will not be coaxed or cajoled into it again. In his words "You're having a fecking laugh mum, it really hurt"!
I can only imagine that the upper lip would be even more painful.

TheCatsMother99 · 09/02/2017 20:42

Elendon waxing the upper lip won't stunt the growth, it doesn't work the same way it does on legs for some reason, trust me I know, I've waxed hundreds/thousands of lips in my lifetime.

It's also a bit of a myth about shaving making hair grow thicker and darker. It only looks thicker and darker as, when shaved, it's cut off blunt rather than the naturally tapered way hair grows if waxed/pulled/plucked out.

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