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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my primary school child doesn't need a 'valentine's party' at school?

36 replies

AppleSkies · 08/02/2017 23:53

DS is in yr 5.

There's a couple of yr 5/6 discos that is fine by me and Christmas parties, etc.

However, there's a valentines disco/party coming up and tells child to bring a gift 'for someone special' who you will be able to give anonymously to...

Am I being precious? Do most primaries do something similar??

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 08/02/2017 23:56

I remember my primary did this when i was in year 6, no anonymous present giving though, just a regular disco type thing.
In some ways its quite innocently cute, at that age they're just starting to actually like the opposite sex and its a bit of well supervised harmless fun.

5OBalesofHay · 08/02/2017 23:57

Bit wierd

5OBalesofHay · 08/02/2017 23:57

Did I spell that right? Looks odd.

Original poster
AppleSkies · 09/02/2017 00:00

Almost not always the opposite sex! I feel sorry for the children who are homosexual, I appreciate I'm thinking too much into it, but it's very much focused on boys give to girls and girls give to boys (even received a nice 'present ideas' and DS got one that's aimed at the girls...)

It's all a bit odd imo

OP posts:
Katy07 · 09/02/2017 11:04

Weird.
The spelling (but only because you asked) and the idea. It sounds like the sort of thing where some (popular) kids end up with loads of cards / presents etc. and some end up with nothing and feel like crap.

LottieDoubtie · 09/02/2017 11:05

yep odd. poorly thought through excuse for a PTA fundraiser perhaps?

livingthegoodlife · 09/02/2017 11:14

I think valentine's disco is fine and it's fun to have a themed event. I think the present giving is weird and unnecessary and likely to cause upset. Just too many factors to go wrong (expense of gift, recipient, someone didn't get one etc)

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 09/02/2017 11:17

When I was at school ( going back a few years) we always had a disco for valentines and I don't see an issue with that at all! I do think the bring a present is a bit I'd though

HolesinTheSoles · 09/02/2017 11:17

Like PP I think the disco would be fine - pushing the present giving is totally unnecessary and just likely to cause problems.

x2boys · 09/02/2017 11:18

you can imagine cant you all the popular kids getting loads of gifts and the less popular very shy kids [i,m thinking of my yr 5 son here] getting none so yet again the popular kids have their ego,s boosted and the less popular kids feel like shit??

x2boys · 09/02/2017 11:19

xpost Katy07

Pinkheart5915 · 09/02/2017 11:20

Valentines disco absolutely fine, we had them when I was at school and the only diffrence to a christmas/Easter/summer disco was a few red balloons, cut out hearts and red heart jelly sweets.

The bring a present is odd though, some child will end up with none while another gets 10. It's kind of saying let's see who is most popular/pretty

Bloopbleep · 09/02/2017 11:22

Dd's school have a valentines disco from p1 but there is no facility to swap cards or gifts.

I actually think it's an unfair practice as the popular kids will get loads and the less popular and quiet kids will get nothing. This may be more to do with my own experience of being the invisible/ugly kid in school and watching every year as the in school anon valentines post was handed out and I never once got a card.

LastnightaDJ · 09/02/2017 11:25

Hate it. And all this shit about "xxx is your girlfriend / boyfriend!". THEY ARE 5 YEARS OLD FFFS!!!! THEY ARE CHILDREN!!!

Vagndidit · 09/02/2017 11:32

Probably not the best example, but Valentine's Day is a popular kid event in the US. Classes exchange cutesy cards (a bit like Christmas card exchanges before Christmas), people bring in cakes and sweets and it's good innocent fun. As long as it's well-supervised and nobody is excluded, it can be fun.

I look back fondly on memories of class parties from my own school days. Ds goes to a "healthy school" so no fun allowed ;)

MyHairNeedsASnip · 09/02/2017 11:33

lastnight that drives me bonkers. I hate it when people ask my 5 year old if she's got a boyfriend. She doesn't even know what they mean it's so far off her radar.

MaryTheCanary · 09/02/2017 11:35

I think it's a bit inappropriate, and it just seems like a bit of a waste of valuable school time. Don't they have something better to be doing?

HateSummer · 09/02/2017 11:35

Sounds crap imo. We used to make cards and some kind of sweet treat to take home for parents back in the 90's. Now they don't do anything for valentines in my dd's school. Not even cards. Good job too. It's crap.

x2boys · 09/02/2017 11:38

Lastnight i think the kids are yr 5 so 9/10 ?

BlueFolly · 09/02/2017 11:40

The present thing is wrong, definitely.

LastnightaDJ · 09/02/2017 11:41

X2 - I know, that's still too young I feel. But I have heard such comments about my own five year old!

HelenaWay · 09/02/2017 11:42

They're not 5, they're in year 5.

x2boys · 09/02/2017 11:47

oh right sorry yeah i agree though too young, not for the actual disco but exchanging cards and presents is cringey and does nothing for the less popular kids.

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 09/02/2017 11:48

Our DD's school have a disco at the end of each half term. She is in Rexeption but went to them in nursery too. Because of how the half terms fall the themes are Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, Easter, May Ball and Graduation. I think it's lovely; 4.30-6, kids come home exhausted and happy, good excuse to dig out the party dress. It's inclusive and gives each kid the chance to attend a few parties even if they don't get invited to many individual ones. The "theme" only seems to dictate the decorations of the hall and the shape of the cookies.

The present giving is not great imo and totally unnecessary.

jcne · 09/02/2017 11:49

it would annoy me. it's just unnecessary to stress them out with that kind of who gives what, who gets a gift(s) and who doesn't. will ensure my boy is a bloody cynic like his mother before we have to start going along with that kind of shite. bloody schools 🙄

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