streuth .. now my retired father has offered to pay for us

[Twiglett]

to all to go up by train for the day for my mother's 70th birthday

so he expects me to put the kids (2.8 and 6) on public transport for 4.5 hours each way (tube - train - taxi/bus) to spend a couple of hours there, have lunch and come back to London same day meaning kids won't be in bed till 10pm (school day next day)

he doesn't know it would cost £150 minimum by the way

we got married on my mother's birthday so it is our wedding anniversary too .. so patently I wouldn't want to go alone which would be the only viable alternative

I will be up there 2 weeks later and was there 2 months ago .. will also be there in May

my mother has already told me she doesn't want a big fuss (she isn't a doddery 70 year old)

go on tell me I'm being unreasonable ..

Oh dear god. 4.5 hours total travel would be mad. 9 hours is insane.

nope your not being unreasonavle its a fecking long way - i;m up north this weekend. its a killer.

they think it's like going to soddin blackpool

dont realise the time and the effort that goes in.

Why are you going up two weeks later? Couldn't you cancel that and go on her birthday instead?
If you can't then you're not being unreasonable at all!

no you are right that isn't possible. can you get your mum to request a special dinner/ gathering when you are up there in a fortnight? our family has big bday celebs but almost never on the actual day.

tell him that the only way you would CONSIDER a trip like that would be taxi. All the way.

Can you not stay overnight?

Noooo - you've definitely got extenuating circumstances there.

9 hours travelling in one day for a 2.8 year old?

Stand firm, I reckon.

(Should have looked ahead to this sort of thing when you set your wedding date on your Mum's birthday ).

I'd go like a shot - my mother died years before her 70th birthday, I'd love a couple of hours with her. She never met any of my kids. Not really the answer to the question though, I suppose.

Is it a surprise, you being there? If not, you could have a word with your mum. Your dad (being presumably a comparable age with your mum) probably never had ANY experience of young children - that would all have been left to your mum. He probably doesn't even realise what he's asking. However, if you speak to your mum, she will understand and not expect you to make that kind of journey with little ones.

Could you fly instead?

Is there anyone who can have the kids for the night and so you can go up with dp spend the night in a hotel (romantic) and then come home?

I'd go! But then you know me - if we didn't travel long distances we'd never see anyone.

Why would someone resurrect a thread from 2007 just to say YABU?

They are doing it all over. I've reported.