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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to consider putting a note on neighbour's cars?

9 replies

titihood · 08/02/2017 16:16

So at the grand old age of 38 I am finally going to learn how to drive. At first I just want to do lessons in the instructor's car, but am planning that once I have confidence my DH can take me out in his car.

The thing is, we live in a square and although there is numbered parking for each house, the spots are a bit of a squeeze so a lot of people don't park in their parking place. I'm sure some people also have two/more cars, but either way there are a lot of empty parking spaces.

We park in our parking spot but neighbours often park car-to-car on the pavement side behind our car. While this isn't really an issue for my DH as he's been driving for years (like most people my age), I am really worried that once I start learning how to drive there is no way I am going to be able to back the car out without doing a million point turn - if at all at first.

I was thinking that once I'm ready to start practicing with DH I could put a note on the three cars that generally park back-to-back behind our space to say that I am learning how to drive and would hate to cause any damage to their car while trying to get out of the space, and if they could leave some space for me that would be much appreciated.

Is this a bit passive-aggressive, or completely unreasonable? What else would you suggest?

I fully admit that a small part of me is annoyed that they don't use their parking space/always park directly behind us in one long line...but the real issue is that I worry about being able to get in and out of our parking space in the early weeks (months?!?!) of practicing.

OP posts:

EweAreHere · 08/02/2017 16:19

Until you're comfortable moving the car out yourself, you might have to let the adult driver (your DH) you're practicing with move it for you. If they're not parking illegally, there's nothing much you can do about it.

Witchend · 08/02/2017 16:20

I would say passive aggressive plus you are laying yourself up at risk of them accusing you of doing damage you haven't done.

If you're practicing, get your dh to manoeuvre it out until you're confident.

Wolfiefan · 08/02/2017 16:21

I wouldn't. What if someone else hits their car and they use your note to try and suggest it was you?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 08/02/2017 16:21

I think a better option would be getting DH to reverse the car into your space to start with. So that you are heading out frontwards. Much easier.

Either that, or ask DH to pull the car out a bit before you take over the driving. You should probably practise parking in a less congested area (like the back of a large supermarket car park or similar) before worrying about trying to squeeze in & out around neighbours' cars.

Don't worry - it will all come with confidence and time.

LemonyFresh · 08/02/2017 16:22

Just let your DH do the parking manoeuvres at least until you're confident. Otherwise you will be stressing about that and it will affect your learning.

aginghippy · 08/02/2017 16:23

YABU I'm afraid.

The way to avoid causing damage to their cars is to wait until you are skilled and confident enough to back out safely.

witsender · 08/02/2017 16:24

I fully appreciate what you mean, but unless there is loads of space for them elsewhere (doubtful as they would be there already!) you can't really expect them to. They have as much right to be there. Could you offer one of them your space for a bit and you park on the road to avoid getting blocked in too much?

Original poster

titihood · 08/02/2017 20:37

You're all mirroring my DH's thoughts that it is a bit passive-aggressive.

I should have clearly stated that I am definitely not going to be practicing parking where we live until I am confident and skilled enough, would not be dinging into their vehicles like it's bumper cars at the fair!

The thing is, there is enough space for them to park elsewhere - for example in their own parking spaces (the square is centred around a communal garden and the parking spaces radiate off that). Lots of them are empty and people just park on the perimeter of the road around the garden instead, probably because they can't be doing with the faff of getting in and out of tightish parking spots. (Also in some cases they would have to walk 1 min to their house instead of 20 seconds). I do admit though that seeing as I don't know who the cars belong to it could be that they live in a 2-car household and someone else has parked their car in the numbered place.

We can only reverse into the space when people are not parked car-to-car on the perimeter directly behind us, as otherwise there is no room, but once I am at that point I will ask DH to do that for me (and reverse until I can safely drive off too!)

I guess the issue is two-fold. One I have control over (waiting until am ready to be reversing in and out of very tight space), the other I don't (people not parking in their parking spaces and instead almost blocking us in). I have wondered what would happen if we needed to get the car out in an emergency, as even then DH would struggle without doing a 7-point-turn, but as he pointed out in an emergency it'd be doubtful that we'd use the car.

OP posts:

harderandharder2breathe · 08/02/2017 20:40

Yabu

Until you are comfortable, the licensed driver accompanying you will need to get out of the parking space and drive to a suitable place for you to swap over.

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