To ask for your witty pregnancy retaliation?!

[PeachPants]

First post ooooh!

Hope you might be able to h
elp me, I'm pregnant with my second, and showing quite early. I'm not ready to tell people yet but people are going to start guessing soon!

Any ideas on replies I can have ready if anyone asks me? But without saying no?! I'm not very quick witted!

Thanks!

'What? Pregnant? No, that's just what shape my body is in since I had the first one. Must lay off the pies'.

Oh, without saying no. 'What are you suggesting? Must lay off the pies hah hah hah...'

look at your tummy, look slightly shocked and then mutter something about 'gosh must do a test actually' then change the subject bright and breezy

Them : Are you pregnant?

You Answer "Are you?"

Why? Do you think I look pregnant?

I would say well I'm just a little bit fat (giggling) not saying no and anyone who mentions being fat using makes the other feel uncomfortable so they'll be unlikely to mention it again x

"Well, after the probe I suppose anything is possible. I never believed aliens walk among us until then."

Or - "are you asking me if I had unprotected sex recently? How rude."

Just narrow your eyes and say "are you asking if I've put on weight? How very dare you?"

Blame Christmas?

Just do this: vimeo.com/52003662 (Smack the Pony sketch)

Why thank you, I did think my tits were looking bigger.
Jiggle them from affect if the words aren't enough.

You don't have to be witty, just say 'I've just eaten a massive meal.' Seriously though, bar family, who looks at someone's tummy and asks if they're pregnant?

I'd say "I'd better not be!" - shows that you're not hopeful to be pregnant and it's offensive to be asked whilst also leaving ground to say "I was totally pregnant" after 12 weeks.

But really, no one would ask.

Congratulations

Blame IBS and look like you might cry...?!

"Do I look like the fucking Virgin Mary?"

I knew this was the right place to ask!!

Will definitely be using these, thanks everyone!

Just adopt a pained expression, rub your stomach and say "no, I'm just really constipated".

If it's a man say "oh I always get bloated when I'm on my period"..That should shut them up.

Alternatively, a "mind your own fucking business" might suffice.

Goodness, that's a personal question, are you usually so tactless?