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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to refuse

25 replies

chocolatebubbles · 08/02/2017 12:46

We are currently getting the house decorated. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and cannot travel too far due to being on sick leave and told bed rest. The lads doing the decorating asked me to pop to the local hardware shop a 40 minute round trip for a few bits that apparently we (myself and OH) were meant to supply although this wasn't made clear. AIBU to refuse. My OH is working otherwise I'd ask him.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/02/2017 12:50

Its not about being reasonable or unreasonable. Its about being able or not able and clearly in your condition you're not able. You've been put on bed rest. Doctors don't do that for the sake of it. Trades people usually bring their own tools anyway, don't they.

loadofcrap10 · 08/02/2017 12:50

Wouldn't worry about being unreasonable as it is you and your OH who will suffer if the bits aren't bought. However you do sounds very precious, it's only 40 minutes!!! And I can't imagine you are spending every minute at home in bed....

Justanothernameonthepage · 08/02/2017 12:50

No, if you're on bed rest, then you need to follow drs orders. Could you call the hardware shop, pay over the phone and organise a taxi to drop off the bits? Or Amazon Prime it if you have membership

watchoutformybutt · 08/02/2017 12:51

Well if they won't be able to do the work then it's shooting yourself in the foot and bit.. I would do it personally but only you know your capabilities at the moment.

Justanothernameonthepage · 08/02/2017 12:52

Or just ask OH. He might be happier taking holiday to get the bits instead of having decorating delays.

AndHoldTheBun · 08/02/2017 12:55

YANBU.

I would be reluctant to leave people to work in my house unsupervised unless I knew them well.

2ndSopranos · 08/02/2017 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 08/02/2017 13:02

I wouldn't be happy being asked to leave tradespeople alone in the house because they weren't organised enough to tell me in advance I was supposed to provide stuff.

Tell them no they'll have to speak to your husband if they're persistent.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/02/2017 13:04

I wouldn't be happy being asked to leave tradespeople alone in the house because they weren't organised enough to tell me in advance I was supposed to provide stuff

They apparently think they did tell them though.

chocolatebubbles · 08/02/2017 13:07

We said we'd supply the wallpaper and they'd supply the paint and other bits so to me that would mean the adhesive for the wallpaper too. My husband thinks that's it's just a way of getting more money out of us

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 08/02/2017 13:10

Can one of the decorators go out to get the stuff or can it be delivered?

You say it wasn't made clear, but that maybe a matter of opinion. I'm sure that for every time a contractor hasn't made clear that the customer needs to provide X, Y and Z, there will be an equal number of customers that haven't read all emails received or listened properly and followed information in conversations had.

Nanny0gg · 08/02/2017 13:11

However you do sounds very precious, it's only 40 minutes!!!

You do understand that you're not put on bed rest lightly don't you?

$0 minutes driving, walking about, picking up and carrying. Not ideal

Don't do it.

Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 13:13

Don't go, but they may refuse the job as the agreed materials were not supplied. For them, time is money.

AcrossthePond55 · 08/02/2017 13:20

No way I'd go anywhere.

When I was on pregnancy bedrest I was told I could get up to go to the loo and twice a week I could take a quick shower as long as someone 'kept an eye on me'. I doubt very much things have changed.

SquinkiesRule · 08/02/2017 13:22

No you're supposed to be on bedrest. Tell them to go get it. Or Have you any friends nearby who DIY maybe the have a pack of wallpaper paste, I know my Dh has some in the garage.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 08/02/2017 13:34

YANBU. Bedrest means that, not nip out for odd trips when you fancy it. Can you phone anyone else to bring some paste over. I think thats poor workmen tbh. I've never had to go an get a workman anything, they've always done it.

NoCleanClothes · 08/02/2017 13:38

loadofcrap10

I don't see how she's being precious if she's meant to be on bed rest she should be in bed most of the time. Yes she'll get up to go to the loo and open the door but not to drive for 40 minutes and wander around a hardware store. Or she might as well ignore the Doctor's entirely and go to work.

NoCleanClothes · 08/02/2017 13:38

Also I don't get why the workman can't go and get it?

Megatherium · 08/02/2017 13:40

It depends on the medical advice you've received. Being told you cannot travel too far suggests that it's not complete bed rest? Or does that just cover journeys to the hospital?

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 08/02/2017 13:40

Surely it's a scam to get you out of the house?

Lunde · 08/02/2017 13:40

However you do sounds very precious, it's only 40 minutes!!! And I can't imagine you are spending every minute at home in bed....

Do you actually understand bedrest? No way she should drive, lift and carry.

When I was on bedrest for pre-eclampsia I was only allowed out of bed for 10 minutes twice a day

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 08/02/2017 13:41

B&Q do next day delivery, BTW.

chocolatebubbles · 08/02/2017 13:44

Not where we live unfortunately. I've told them my oh will pick it up on his way home from work and that I wasn't allowed carry or lift anything heavy but if they wanted to go themselves that's no problem. I've been bleeding on and off last few weeks but didn't want to tell them that.

OP posts:
Jenbob13 · 08/02/2017 14:09

My DH is a tradesman and he would never in a million years even ask a customer to do this, pregnant, bed rest or healthy sprightly woman.
So what if they asked you to provide the said materials yourself, as soon as you say your pregnant and on bedrest its just a case of being a decent human being and helping someone out. Jesus if I lived close enough I would go for you OP and I'm 38 weeks pregnant (no bedrest fortunately!)
Silly workmen. Not like they're being paid for the work is it? Pffft. Oh wait......

Moocherbot · 08/02/2017 18:08

Recently had a thread on this where my mother was asked to go out to get supplies by Carpetright workmen. Think yours is a bit different - but you still shouldn't go. Surely acceptable compromise would be that they go and you split the difference on the cost of the materials they had to get extra?

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