DS7 and school - getting in trouble/bored

[Lima1]

My DS turned 7 a couple of months ago and is in 1st class (not sure what that is in UK - its his 3rd year in school). I have 2 other kids one a year below and one 2 years ahead. Both youngest and eldest are bright kids, do very well in school, manage work easily and never get into trouble. The middle kid my DS7 is very bright (this isn't a stealth boost honestly). We have always been told since he was very young that he is very smart. He isn't at the level of gifted or anything but I suppose its like a step above being top of the class if that makes sense.
At his parent teacher meetings the teachers tell me he is extremely intelligent, exceptionally bright, miles ahead of the other kids, etc. He can easily do the school work of my DD 2 years ahead, they are reading the same books, he knows all her spellings etc etc
He picks things up very easily, has a great memory, and unlike my other two who are content to learn at an easy going pace, he craves information. He is really good at maths eg his class are learning addition and subtraction tables and he is on multiplication and division, knows all fractions, percentages, measurements ...
Here is the problem, his current teacher, whilst lovely, seems to be just ignoring DS. I totally appreciate that he has a big class and his priority will be the kids who are struggling. I have a nephew who I am very close to and he is struggling in school, gets extra resources, is in a special class so I know the pain and upset of having kids on the other end.
DS is refusing to do addition and subtraction tables with the rest of the class as they are "too easy" for him, his teacher accepts this so now DS does no tables in school and I do the M&D with him at home. The spellings are too easy so now he does little to no spellings with him. He is reading a few years ahead of his age and thankfully his teacher lets him pick his own books but unfortunately DS doesn't really enjoy reading (hoping its only temporary as I love it).
His behaviour was raised as an issue at the PT meeting. His teacher said he can be a bit cheeky, but not in a bad way, he just thinks he shouldn't have to do work that is too easy for him. Teacher said he thinks he is an adult and wants to control everything - all true. When the teacher is on the computer DS goes up to his desk and wants to know what files he is looking at, where they are saved, what files he has in Word, how to do this that and the other - he askes a million questions about everything. He loves going onto my computer and creating files, he will take pictures from the picture album, and create collages with headers, set up his own folders, he has programmed the tv, set up the chrome cast with the TV, downloaded movies, etc He built a 16 years + 1500 piece lego set by himself when he was 5.5yrs. I got him the Millennium Falcon Star Wars lego (8-16yr) for Christmas to keep him occupied and he built it in about 2-3 hrs.
He has been getting in trouble in school a fair bit recently for messing, getting up and walking around the classroom, rolling his pencil around the table. When I asked him about it he said he is finished all his work and has to wait for the others to finish and he has nothing to do. I have a suduko book in his bag for times like this and the teacher is supposed to have sheets of work in an early finisher box but often runs out. The problem is that he is now bored with doing these.
I knew this problem was going to arise but I thought id get another year or two before it did. I know I should talk to the teacher but its very hard to not sound like I'm bragging and I think my child is a genius that deserves special treatment. I don't even know what I expect the teacher to do, I fully appreciate he has 20 + other kids to worry about. I suppose my best way to approach it is from the point of view of him getting in trouble and being disruptive, but I worry the teacher may not agree with me and think maybe he is just being bold.
The is an irish school in the next town, where everything is taught through Irish and DH is seriously considering sending him there as a way to challenge him for the next while. Though he is picking up the language at a fast rate so I don't know how long that will work.
I would really love any advice on what to do, AIBU to expect the school to try and do something for him in terms of challenging him more. I genuinely worry about his behaviour going downhill. In the last week I have had a note him as he got 4 warnings in the one day and yesterday he got 2 warning so he had to go to the staffroom. The school is great in ways but its a very easy going country school with an "ah sure it will be grand" attitude!

singing - just a complete aside - you do know that grammar schools are part fo the state system and are free don't you?

(there are a few private schools that use the word Grammar in their names, but that is not what is usually meant by a grammar school)

I taught 7 year olds and I would expect an average 7 year old to be able to find something in the "extra work" box and get on with it quietly. I would also expect one to tell me if there was nothing there.

His boredom, as you call it, is of his own making, I would call it bad behaviour. He's 7 not 5.

There is no option to move him up a year or two, it just doesn't happen here in Ireland.

I took a look at the website for gifted children that a poster put up a link for and there is a long list of behaviours and characteristics. He ticks so many of them it was like someone was describing him. He definitely falls within the class of children described as "The Challengings" who are frustrated with being held back, have exceptional curiosity, misbehaviour in class from not being challenged, questioning rules and the teacher, prefer a highly active engaging questioning approach.

Can I ask the teachers that have responded, have you taught a child that falls into a category like that? January - how would you deal with it or would you just assume it was bad behaviour?

Singing in the rainstorm - he doesn't just find school pretty easy, its way too easy for him. My other kids find school pretty easy, they are both top of the class and score very high on standardised test and never misbehave. They are content in school. DS just doesn't see the point in doing work he already knows and has know for ages, his teacher has told me he is "miles ahead" of the others. The pace is just way to slow for him.
I might see how he does on his next standardised test and see about an educational assessment.

Here is an example - yesterday in the car I gave him a sentence "The big black car drove quickly into Tesco's carpark". I said tell me the verb, adverb, noun and adjective in that sentence - which he did. I gave him another sentence and asked him the same thing and his reply was "Ah ma, I know what all of them mean, I don't want to keep doing it".
He does know, its pointless keeping asking him but I don't know where to go from there, what comes next? I'm not a teacher. His class haven't even started learning this stuff so when they do why wont he be bored with it?

Good luck, OP. I have a feeling you are going to need it.

Just read your example. The thing is, if he is doing at school what you described there, then you have a different problem: he is too confident. He thinks the work is too leasy for him so he refuses to do it.

When I design a task I put the easy questions at the start and the work gets progressively more difficult until the student reaches the extension work. Only once that has been finished, checked and corrected do I consider giving them extra, unless I am convinced they need more difficult work. Frankly, it's not for my students to tell me they aren't doing it!

Is your DS completing the work and then misbehaving, or is he refusing the work and asking for different work because he believes it is going to be too easy?

I also agree that you seem to be excusing misbehaviour op. I don't think boredom is the main issue here. You have said he has challenge sheets and sudoku in his bag but no longer wants to do them. That doesn't mean he can disrupt others. If he is genuinely not being challenged I'm sure the teacher would be more than happy to give him some kind of extension to the task if he raised his hand and asked. I don't think sitting for relatively short periods should be beyond a 7yo. Does he constantly have to be engaged in something at home? Maybe you need to work with him on just being for short periods. Mindfulness exercises might be good for him.
My son has asd an often finds work easy. I wouldn't want the school to be teaching him that boredom is an excuse to misbehave though. I don't think many 7 yr olds find it easy to just sit tbh but at times it's necessary.

The example of how the teacher last year let him do the book system thing rings a bell with me. Yes, it could be because he's so clever etc etc or perhaps he/she wasn't very good at managing behaviour. It's much easier to let a child roam about with delusions of grandeur than keep them in line. I've inherited similar children myself. Their previous teacher found them hard to manage so let them do what they wanted. Then I had to get them back in line. Also, don't assume a teacher handing out the warnings is struggling. They could easily be implicating the behaviour policy that wasn't followed last year. My armchair diagnosis is that he's been allowed to do what he likes last year and is struggling with the new regime. It would be interesting to see the quality of his finished work.

*implementing

Cosmicglitterpug:

This, totally!

Also must add that adhd/asd etc can present very differently in different children. Needing to be constantly occupied and being disruptive during unstructured time is pretty typical. I know a parent who has removed her child from school as they were 'gifted' and the school couldn't keep up with them. From my perspective they seemed like a child who was very academic but struggled massively with impulse control/social boundaries etc (and had a long family history of asd). You will find a lot of the characteristics of 'gifted' children or 'indigo' children or whatever label parents find more palatable are actually pretty indistinguishable from characteristics of high functioning autism.

I have taught children like this, it hasn't been much fun for the rest of the class.
I managed fine though and wasn't struggling. Eventually the penny drops with parents.

My daughter spent her first few years at school in Dublin.

One of the biggest problems we experienced was the large class sizes and the lack of class room assistants. Her class was "lucky" as they had a SN student in their class so there was that child's TA to "help" out but it was at times 30+ kids to one teacher.

I don't know if things have improved.

Totally agree bumsex !

*Steppenmum

Rhoda - I certainly don't think most schools would be either/ or in terms of behaviour and adjustments, but the two do go hand in hand.

At 7 he can easily understand that these special measures are available, but in turn he needs to work on this and this.

That is how an individual education plan works, with goals for education AND behaviour.*

I spoke from personal experience - my DS school were convinced he was just 'badly behaved' and refused support until he behaved better and was worthy of time and investment. Even his pre-diagnosed HF ASD couldn't sway them from that until I asked the HT and SENCO to spend some time with him 1:1. They gave him space to talk about his interests and were shocked to find a 7 year old who likes robotics and programming, and could give a pretty good explanation of the theory of relativity for his age.

It was at this point his IEP was completely rewritten. Gone were the "I will try to fit in with others" (great instruction when the other kids don't want to play with you because you're always being told off) and "I will not make silly noises in class" (stimming when it was too loud and he hadn't been allowed to go somewhere quieter) they were replaced with "I will not feel scared to ask the teacher when I need to step out and calm down" and "I will try to share more of my ideas in class and have confidence that they are good" etc.

He went from 'disruptive' to winning HT awards, from mucking about in French to getting the star of the week certificate and when I went to his last parents evening I was told that over the past year he had leapt from 'working towards' all his targets to 'exceeding expectation' in all but one subject.

I understand what IEPs are for, but if they don't have the right type of goals and the right support isn't in place they're not worth the paper they're written on. What use is a goal of "I will behave in class" to a child who's behaviour issue is because they are over- or under- whelmed?

Op has said her DS is immature. My DS was as well and at 7 had the impose control of a 5/6 year old. He has only caught up with his peers in the last year or so. He desperately wanted to be 'good' but had difficulty controlling his impulses. We've all learned strategies to cope now and he's managing beautifully. It may take a bit more time for OPs DS, In the meantime he needs to be rewarded when he stays calm and behaves appropriately rather than harshly punished for minor transgressions such as mucking about with a pencil. School needs to reward his appropriate behaviours so he demonstrates more of them. OP can work on this at home too but she can't be 100% responsible for his classroom behaviour.

I'm not saying that disruptive behaviour should be excused - I've worked damn had with DS and his school to get him to engage - but school needs to put some extra strategies in place for OPs DS - or else it won't be too long before he gets bored with sudoku as well! It isn't enough to tell him not to be disruptive, he needs some redirection, positive behaviour rewards AND some differentiated work. It doesn't sound like he's getting all of that yet.

Rhoda I am so glad your child got that help, it sounds like he got great support in the end and really benefitted from it.

DS got a warning on Friday for wearing his jacket into class, he then broke down crying and begged the teacher not to send a note home. He got a second warning when he had finished early, went to the box for a worksheet, it was empty and when he got back to his seat he turned his chair around and sat on it backwards.

He brought home his free writing copy on Friday and there was a story entitled "Notes" and it was all about how he hates getting notes home and that his mammy gives out to him and he gets in trouble and that he never wants a note home again!

I think punishing him for misbehaviour (both from school and at home) isn't changing anything so I have told him if he avoids warnings and occupies himself properly he will get to choose a treat at the end of the week (he is saving for Lego so I said I will give him a Euro if he wants)
Ill see how this goes and if there are any more warnings ill make an apt with the teacher.
His school report last year said he was very attentive and cooperative in class, he got 5/5 for everything but then that teacher did accommodate him and push him. I don't think she was letting him "roam around with delusions of grandeur" or letting him do what he wanted, she obviously was doing what she thought worked best.

she obviously was doing what she thought worked best

Presumably his current teacher is also doing what he thinks works best - and it's hard to say which one of them is "right" from any of our perspectives.

He's not the first smart child out there and many, if not all teachers, will have experienced some like him. He needs to learn to behave sensibly and challenge himself on his weak points, rather than being silly because he's bored and doesn't see why he should do the "easy" stuff. Seven is certainly not too young to start learning this.