everyone else finds parenting much easier than I do

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

DS is 14 months old. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I was prepared for it to be hard work. But I seem to find it so much harder than other mums. I work 3 days a week, DH does 4 and DS goes to nursery on the 2 days we both work. DH easily does his share, nursery drop offs, weekly shop in the evening, tidying. I do washing and cleaning, we share cooking.

So why am I constantly exhausted? Other people manage the food shop with kids, or are planning their next child, while I feel like a dried up husk thats just about surviving.

Definitely not alone! I will admit I found my first 'easy' as far as babies/toddlers go but my youngest who is almost 17 months I am finding very hard going. Some babies/kids are easy, some not so much... It's definitely not you & I bet you are doing a great job! It's not easy working, having kids, having a home to look after-just don't sweat the small stuff!

Everyone is just about surviving. They just present the image they want to in public. You aren't doing any worse that anyone else.

It's totally normal to feel like that, and everyone's babies can be difficult at times, everyone finds parenting tough at times. People just aren't all open and upfront about it.

I think I had PND with DS1 but did such a fabulous job of covering it up that nobody suspected a thing and I would just cry myself to sleep at night with the sheer exhaustion of it all. Ask those who knew me back then and they'd tell you I had my shit together and never felt down. It's all and act, then at some point it really does just get easier.

Yep those that make it look easy aren't a true reflection. I probably make it look easy but I'd say 1/5th the time I'm fed up argh.

Go for a blood test at the go. Pregnancy can be really hard on your body. I was vitamin d deficient which is minor but the supplements really helped.

You could have an issue with your thyroid or be deficient in something but you can't guess it. It could also point to depression and anxiety - gp is your first port of call.

I think all parents feel like they're making it up tbh. I do!

This is me too. I really struggle and I have two aged 4 and 2. They both sleep pretty well now and are much easier than they were as babies, but still I struggle.

I have a friend who is always inviting people for play dates and looking after other people's children for them no problem. I can't bloody look after my own never mind having someone else's for an afternoon!

I do invite people round to play to ensure my son isn't as socially inept as I am but it's usually a week long panic about the fact other people with children will be in my actual house and I have to host. I'm so bad at it all.

I just want to say that my son is 21 months old and I had a traumatic time having him. I also had HELLP sympndrome. I am still coming to terms with his seriously ill I was and also that it has triggered all sorts of other autoimmune despises (as yet to be diagnosed). However, one of the symptoms of autoimmune conditions generally is being knackered. I think having a baby is knackerimg anyway (and mine sleeps like an angel but it is still tiring). Howeve to add HELLP and any ongioing consequences into the mix really can explain why you may feel like you are suffering particularly. Be kind to yourself. I have heard it takes a long time to settle sometimes.

I have a 13 month old and work 32 hours a week across 4 days, and I would say although v tiring (I like to go to bed early, even on weekends!) that I'm not finding it THAT hard. BUT, my son sleeps well 95% of the time, we have a fortnightly cleaner and have shopping delivered. DH cooks so I have very little to do in the way if chores excluding laundry a couple of times a week, emptying dishwasher etc and general tidying.

I would highly recommend both a cleaner and shopping delivered! When you're both working you should use some of your hard earned money to make your life a bit easier.

We also have doting grandparents who are happy to babysit, and while 99% of the time we want to spend all weekend with DS and stay in anyway, at least we have the option of going to e.g. Weddings child-free.

I also didn't have a traumatic birth and didn't breastfeed beyond the first month, so physically my body healed much quicker than yours would have. Give yourself a break

You're not alone and it does get easier. Not easy, per se, but definitely easier.

I found the experience of having my first child completely overwhelming and crushingly exhausting (I went back to work at 4 months) and - I'm not saying the same for everyone but for me it was because it was totally unprepared for what having a child would be like. I couldn't get my head around having someone totally dependent on me and that it was forever (so it seemed).
My Husband did plenty too but I had (or gave myself) the role of default pa re nt. So even when I wasn't actively patenting I was planning, thinking, worrying etc. Everyone seemed to be better at it than me which doesn't help! I didn't really enjoy being a mum until he was about 5.
I wish I'd spoken to someone about it at the time (but I was worried about confessing it!)
I did eventually have a second child and it was a doddle and I loved it! Because I knew what was coming!

Croon great to hear from someone else who had HELLP syndrome. It's not that common, I'd never even heard of it before I got it. It didn't even cross my mind that having a baby could be so bloody dangerous.

I hear you. Mine is a few months older than yours; I also had a traumatic birth (failed induction, EMCS, not as hairy as yours but traumatic for me) and ended up with PTSD-type symptoms. Also back at work, 4 days with a longish commute. And still breastfeeding.

To be honest, my issue is not work nor, on good days, DS though I did threaten to eBay him yesterday afternoon. It's the juggling. There are days when it's all fine and others where I end up feeling like the world's worst mum, partner, daughter, etc. And DP is very involved and more than pulls his weight, and we have some family help.

Doesn't help that DS is, shall we say, an unpredictable sleeper.... I've learned the hard way that when he naps, on days where I'm at home, the most important thing to do is sit down immediately with a hot cup of tea for half an hour.

So no words of wisdom from me. But I hear you. I don't think it's unusual at all. Can't quite believe some of our friends with children the same age as ours are having their second now!

Could you have anxiety or PTSD? I do and they are tiring. Also if you've been seriously ill, it will take time to heal.