I think my colleague is lying about an I'll relative wwyd

[whatisforteamum]

I have I'll parents and df is terminal although doing okish at the moment so although colleagues know they are likely to pass away soon day to day it is work as normal.
Recently a younger colleague has mentioned they too have a parent with cancer which I guess is likely if one in two of us will be diagnosed.I have been sympathetic.But lots things don't ring true.they were admitted to a hospital then discharged as beds were unavailable.then readmitted to one in the next county a week later!!.
Next they were doing OK then they were under sedation.I'm struggling with the sympathy now as I know the cancer journey is very tough as I've seen plenty with DM and df I just think this person isn't telling the truth.I don't want to be awful to them and in a lot of ways its none of my business except when we've covered for them.wwyd....ignore or ask after their relative ?

I don't know why anyone would make something like that up, but....I had a colleague who got time off work because she said her Nan had passed away. She was spotted that day somewhere she shouldn't have been, and (without going into details) she clearly was not grieving!

Colleague told me their relative was up and about..then sitting up.The later shift person was told they were in a coma when they enquired a few hrs later (still).perhaps its too close to home with my I'll parents but it makes me irrationally angry that I won't ask after them.They have lied about trivial stuff I hope no one lies about serious things.

That's odd enough to give them a wide berth on this subject.

Sorry to hear about your parent

Cancer affects everyone differently my grandma had stage 3 bladder cancer and the chemo and all the operations really knackered for 6 she still has cancer in her lymphnodes by her bladder and thats being closely monitored and she's still having problems after all the chemo and the radiotherapy burnt her bladder my 2 cousins both had cancer one had breast cancer and had a mastectomy and because she didn't want to wait 2 years before they did a tummy tuck and used that to reconstruct her breast she chose to have the muscle from her back brought round the front to create a breast it's left her with a large dint in her back where there's no muscle the other one has hormonal cancer so it can come back anywhere in her body because of her hormones and there's nothing they can do because the chemo has affected her heart. Cancer is not one size fits all.

I am sorry about your parents

To those who are saying that people are unlikely to lie about these things: I'm afraid they sometimes do.

I've seen quite a few instances of this (employment lawyer) including awful examples where a parent is said to have died, only to be alive and well and opening the door when a well-intentioned colleague pops round with flowers and a card.

I think all you can do is be sympathetic but if you're suspicious, don't invest your emotional energy in this person.

Peanut Phoenix I am so sorry for all you're loved ones too. My DM was diagnosed in 2007 after losing three stone. Stage 4 rare cancer in operable. Miraculously chmo worked and she had four good yrs before they decide on more chemo and major surgery to save her life.
Meanwhile dad WS diagnosed with another rare aggressive cancer.they both had chemo and pulled themselves through somehow while mum has checks for its return Dad went terminal and had had several Hosp stays and more chemo that was stopped.He has hospice nurses and despite being given months to live is still going out.
I would have sympathy for all families going through this.it is dreadful to see our loved ones suffering up to three hospital visits per week.I think its something to never lie about though.

It's difficult, some people do lie about cancer. I have known someone who did and kept it up for several years

I remained sympathetic throughout, even when things unravelled a bit and it was quite obvious. I think she deserved a little sympathy anyway as she must have been quite unwell to lie like that.

Also, you can never be 100% sure that it is a lie and it would be too horrible to get it wrong.

agreed I. fee!l sorry if they need to lie.I hope their relative doesn't have cancer.I will remain kind but not ask anything.On need to know basis.