aibu to be pissed off by inconsiderate people?

[Areasonablegal]

I am in late pregnancy and have a young child who is 16m.

Thanks to mil both of us have been ill since early december. - what was a bad cold and chesty cough for mil turned into something far more serious for me and lo as we have no immunity given that he is a baby and i am pregnant - chest, throat and ear infections that we couldnt shift and ended up with both of us on several sets of antibiotics and ill for several months...also, aside from antibiotics its a case of only being able to have paracetamol to help with the nasty symptoms. My lo stopped sleeping as he was too poorly and so did i which made it all 100x worse as i am a stay at home mom who has no help with lo.

Mil always turns up here when she is obviously ill and then pretends not to be, because she obviously knows she is shouldnt. My oh thinks iabu but im sick of it.

Why cant people keep their germs to themselves rather than deliberately putting themselves around vulverable people and pretending they arent ill whilst coughing their guts up over everyone amd passing their germs on.

I know i sound ranty but tbh its not mil who is pregnant and cant take meds when ill...nor is it mil who has to stay awake all night for weeks (in this case months) on end when lo is poorly....not to mention that it is not her who is left looking after a grumpy, ill child whilst also ill, pregnant and sleep deprived!

So, she turned up for a few hours this morning unannounced...and after she left she called oh for help with some stuff today as she has a really bad tummy bug and has had it really bad since yesterday! (But still came here today, was all over my lo and once again pretended not to be ill!).

Am i losing my shit for no reason or is it fair for me to be pissed off that she keeps turning up ill (knowingly and hiding it from us) and making us ill too all the time? My oh has now got a bad tummy...

Im genuinely concerned about this bug as im worried it could send me into preterm labour if i get it.

How can anyone be so selfish?!

Mumzy they don't inject you with flu.

For most flu vaccines, the three strains of the viruses are grown in hens' eggs. The viruses are then killed (deactivated) and purified before being made into the vaccine. Because the injected flu vaccine is a killed vaccine, it cannot cause flu.

From NHS website.

MrsHathaway...Funny that because every year I go for a flu jab, the chemist tells me that they do.

If your OH doesn't listen then ask MIL directly to consider your and DGC's wellbeing and to not to come while ill. Don't go all guns blazing but polite firm request to start with. Worst case scenario is her not realising not wanting to know she might have infected you with something,carrying on and infecting the newborn.

i don't think OP is saying she has no immune system only that she seems more susceptible whilst pregnant, and also you cannot take the same medication to help feel better so it's harder. with a poorly toddler, she's not getting the rest your body needs to fight infection and subsequently it has hung around a long time and for the sake of her MIL staying away another few days it all could have been avoided. it is incredibly selfish to not at least tell people you are unwell when visiting, pregnant or not. i'd never go to anyone's house with a tummy bug!! that's seriously grim!

She seems to think she has no immunity when pregnant, which is patent nonsense. Immunity is slightly supressed in pregnancy, thats all.

Thank you Tata!

Im not saying i have no immunity. The poiny is that whilst pregnant immunity is lowered and simple illness' can escalate into more serious things - which has happened to me. My mil cold/cough ended up with me on antibiotics for a chest, ear and throat infection and my lb the same. It is also true that when she makes me ill, i can not take all the meds that anyone else can because you are restricted on what you can take when pregnant. Looking after an ill toddler who is not sleeping, when you are also ill, unable to take anything to assist because you are pregnant and also not sleeping is no fun at all. ALL AVOIDABLE if mil used her brain and kept away a few days until better.

Also, when mil comes over ill and pretends not to be ill it is because i have told her not to come over when ill. Its a deliberate choice to lie to me and my oh and is incredibly selfish.

Why should i have to pretend im going out or hide away upstairs when she rocks up ill and pretends not to be? Its my fucking house.

The bottom line is, she should not be coming over when ill but she keeps doing it anyway. Im going to have to be very blunt from now on and refuse to let her in - especially when the newborn arrives.

It is very sad that a grown woman, who is a mother herself, needs to be forced to do what most normal people do without thinking - keep away from vulnerable people whilst ill.

Er the flu jab is given because influenza is serious and can kill. A cold without complications, as long as it's been diagnosed as such by a GP, isn't. Sorry but you are def making a mountain out of a molehill.

Colds are everywhere this time of year. If you've left your house at all you have no way of knowing that your MIL gave you a cold.

Mumzy, the influenza vaccine is not a live vaccine. Live vaccines are usually not given in pregnancy. So, no, they don't "do that".