To ask about joint accounts and dividing finances

[isthismummy]

I'm curious as to how those in relationships manage their joint accounts (if they have one of course

Finance and I are just waiting for paperwork to come through on joint account we have just opened.

We are planning to also open a savings account and put a percentage into it each month. We have decided to have all our salaries paid into joint account( DF earns a little bit more than me, but only about £200 a month) All in all we will have around £2200 a month going in. We are going to switch all Direct Debits to joint account as well.

We will keep our own bank accounts as well. I also have an isa into which I will be putting a small inheritance sum I will be getting this year.

We decided to just keep all our money in joint account as most of our spending is on things that mutually benefit us anyway. However when I discussed this with DM she was horrified! She said I should always make sure I have my "own" money and that it would be more sensible to keep our own bank accounts and transfer a set amount to joint every month?

Is she sensible! Am I? What do other people do? We're getting married in June, so we both believe that all our money will be joint money anyway. Are we wrong?

When we moved in together, we set up a joint account for bills and each paid 50% of the bills into that account and continued to have our own separate accounts for savings and personal expenses. This worked until we had our DD when my wage reduced due to being part time, we now just have one account for everything, all money is joint money. Works for us.

It never occurred to me about buying presents etc. Not much point in treating your oh if they can see it on the bank statements

That's why we have the separate credit cards - but paid off from the joint account.

I wouldn't have a joint account simply because the bank will pursue you if your DH runs up an overdraft as I discovered not so long ago 😡
I didn't use the joint account at all, so had no idea he was thousands of pounds overdrawn.

Joint account here for bills, groceries and mortgage, I pay in about £100 more than my partner, I earn anywhere from 2-2.5 times more than they do each month. Everything else is our own to spend how we see fit.

My parents maintain separate finances...In that my dad's is shared and my mum's is her own .

We have completely joint, have done since we were first married. Before we were married DH paid all the bills etc as I just moved in with him and I did food. Every penny goes into joint account, all direct debits etc go out of it. I pay an amount to another joint account for groceries and fuel.

I do have a few old single accounts which I use for budgeting for Christmas etc...Joint money but only I can access it.

If you trust one another, which presumably you do, then it is sensible to pool your incomes and outgoings together in this way.

Keeping your money separate suggests that on some level you have doubts. Doubts about whether your relationship is permanent, doubts about whether your partner is honest, doubts about whether they are capable of managing your shared money. If you doubt one of the first two, end the relationship. If you doubt the third with good reason (eg history of gambling, mental health issues that affect decision making) then perhaps it is wise to keep your money apart.

In many ways it is like when one partner insists that the other should sign a prenuptial agreement to protect their own money if they split up. It is a clear demonstration that they have doubts about their partner's honesty (faking love to get marry to then divorce and take them to the cleaners) or have doubts that the union will be permanent.

We have separate accounts and a joint account. We each put a proportion of wages into the joint account to cover bills etc. We're very open about money and know how much the other earns etc.
We may change things soon as first baby comes along, but it's working for us so far.

I can't cope with joint accounts! We have one for household bills which we transfer a set amount in to which works out about equal - we have similar salaries atm so it works out at 50/50 and the same amount 'spare' each...

My salary is likely to increase and we do review it periodically so as it increases 50% of the increase goes into the joint account with dh reducing his share, so he's getting equal benefit.

My ex was financially abusive and I have a real horror of not having money that I have complete control over. We also have different spending habits in that dh will spend more day to day, whereas I'd spend more on big purchases but more occasionally.

Works for us, and we never argue about money. Not that I think there's anything wrong with joint accounts, it's just what works for you.

Do what works for you.

We do have a couple of joint accounts, but if I am honest I did really regret giving up my own account some years ago. I felt that with it went some of my freedom just at a time when the children were tiny and I was at my most vulnerable. I just don't like everything being open to scrutiny and I don't want to have to explain myself to anyone. I am just like that.

I now have another individual account, and this time will not make the same mistake again.

DH and I have separate accounts (not sure why really, we just never got round to setting up a joint account) but our finances are completely shared so we move money between accounts without keeping track. It works for us and I don't think we've ever had an argument about money. It helps that we are both natural savers.

Everything shared, we don't have me / their money, everything is ours. We've been together 8 years and married for 6 and been like this since we got engaged 7 years ago. Works well enough for us.

No one knows what the future will bring, so yes I think it is strongly advisable to have access to a lump sum of personal money just in case.

I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that all of my money was tied in with someone else's, for my own peace of mind I need to know that I will be financially secure if my relationship doesn't last forever.

Your mum is just being cautious on your behalf and I can understand where she's coming from, as my own mum very much instilled the same in me.

For me it's a joint account for joint expenses but separate accounts for personal spending and savings.

I pay approx 30% of my monthly salary into a joint current account. This is the same value as my husband pays in (we earn around the same). All household spending comes from here, although there are a few anomalies that have never been transferred (e.g. I pay the TV licence; have been too lazy to change the payment).

The rest of our salaries is our own to do as we please. I have an individual current account, a savings account, an ISA, a credit card. I have no idea what he has. Until last year, when we approached a mortgage broker about a mortgage, I had no idea what his savings values were etc. He could have been penniless or a millionaire.

So we have very independent finances - it's only practicality that sees us with a joint current account. However, in principle, the money is joint. It worked out that I seem to pay for holidays, he pays for a new TV every so often. I couldn't give a shit who pays for dinners or drinks or whatever. Admittedly, we have a large amount of disposable income, so it's easy to not care about new mountain bikes turning up (him) or spunking £400 on a new turntable (me). I wouldn't dream of discussing my purchases with him - I think we may have made a joint decision on massive furniture items but that's it. I suspect he's currently planning a new car....

And barinatxe, those aren't the only reasons to maintain financial independence. After seeing my Dad's business destroyed by unscrupulous cunts, and various trickeries employed so that my Mum, with her independent finances, could keep our family together, it has been drummed in to me to have my own money, even if the reason is to protect both partners.

We have a joint account that all bills, mortgage, food etc comes from and joint savings which is offset against our mortgage. We both pay a set amount into each. We have a joint credit card and each have a sole card which is mainly used for work expenses.

We also each have a sole account for discretionary spend (it's nice to buy each other gifts without it being a line item on the joint bank statement).

However, the most important thing is your outlook on finances. I am a saver (DH is now a convert!), we agree on all major purchases, in fact we discuss anything over £50. We discuss spending on holidays, major purchases and home maintenance costs.

As long as you communicate and are honest with each other on spending habits, you won't go far wrong.

Everything joint here: bank accounts, credit cards, mortgage.
We also have various investments, quite a few in my name but DH set them up so I'm ashamed to say I'm not sure what they're worth!

I'm afraid I'm of the not understanding separate accounts for marrieds persuasion, but different things suit different couples. Honesty, openness and fairness can be achieved in various ways.

Fly, ISAs are Individual Savings Accounts. They can only be held by one person, not jointly.

If you want your DH to have access to the money in the ISA you will actually have to split the money and give his portion to him. Nothing to stop him opening up an ISA of his own to put it into, but again, it cannot be held in joint names, only one.

Quite separate here by MN standards - joint account we each pay the same amount into per month (earn about the same) which is bills/groceries etc, and also a topup so it's building savings.

Paid into separate accounts and spend money from there on everything else. Tend to trade back and forth on purchases for things we both want, meals out etc but it's very loose and we don't keep track.

It works because finances aren't tight, and he's a hardcore saver and I'm spendy. It would drive him up the wall to know what I spend in the pub/pret every month if it was coming out of the joint account so this is easier for everyone's sanity.

sounds perfect to me, have joint account for all big money and expenses and then keep your own seperate accounts - perfect! if something should ever befall your main accounts you have others from which to draw from

It also depends on what you want out of life and what goals you have and how much you earn.

We only earn a pittance here so the only way we can save to move forward and do stuff is to set budgets for everything ie weekend money, food, petrol etc. We have to know exactly what we have to make sure we can do nice things.

When DH and I first got together we had a joint account for bills and our own accounts for things such as car, clothes, etc. When we bought a property and had kids we switched to a joint account for everything.

Joint accounts here too. Joint for household money, joint bills account and joint savings. I'm a SAHM just now, but both our earnings had previously gone into joint account and then distributed out to our other accounts by me. Now I'm not working, I still do the same, I sort out everything financial in our house, mortgage, insurances, utilities etc. Dh calls me the house manager. I do worry what he would do if I died, he really doesn't have a clue what we pay or to who! He doesn't even know how much he gets paid half the time!
Anything to do with the house, I buy and sort out with the money in the joint account, only really ask if it's big things I need, even then I don't think he would care.
Great for him as he has no money worries! Not so much for me haha

Do what you think, whatever works for one, might not for another. You will find a way that works for you both :)

Joint account here too. We used to each have individual accounts too for personal spending but it became too fiddly having 3 different accounts since I ended up managing all 3 so we merged them into one. I am a SAhM now in any case so there wouldn't be any money coming into mine unless it was transferred from his in which case it would be like a payment which would feel strange. Mortgage/ credit cards in joint names. Majority of our savings are in an ISA in my name only because only one person allowed and I manage it.

Annnnnd....BINGO!

barinatxe Tue 07-Feb-17 18:13:08
If you trust one another....Keeping your money separate suggests that on some level you have doubts

• Does it bollocks.

In many ways it is like when one partner insists that the other should sign a prenuptial agreement to protect their own money if they split up. It is a clear demonstration that they have doubts about their partner's honesty (faking love to get marry to then divorce and take them to the cleaners) or have doubts that the union will be permanent.

• In your narrow-minded view of the world maybe. In most other people's not at all.

By this reasoning, I'm assuming you don't have buildings insurance, car insurance or any form of personal insurance? Because of course none of us expects the house to fall into a sinkhole; or a head on collision on the way to work; or cancer to strike during your working life, right?

But if you do, then you clearly have some level of doubt that this completely unexpected and unforeseen event might happens and so you take eminently reasonable and sensible precautions against them.

So please do fuck off with your patronising and wholly inaccurate bullshit.

We put 75% of our salaries into the joint but still have our own accounts and money.