to ask for your top tips for lifting up the down?

[ReallyDownxxxx]

Just that really. Not clinical suicadal depression but just feeling really low and like life has no fun and there are no real true friends.

What are you top simple tips for cheering yourself up?

(I have no DH or a partner so seeking a hug or care is no good. This is probably part of the problem for me)

Take up a team sport, or group exercise.

Running group, tennis club, martial arts, Zumba, whatevs.

Most people will be nice, and will be just as eager to see a familiar face to have a chat with as you.

Get out to the countryside and go to church are the two things that sort me out!

I try and pamper myself, do some spa treatments at home, relax with a movie and pizza and try to switch off from all the shit thats getting to me.

Fresh flowers, nice smells, wash & style hair, make light friendly conversation with someone (anyone), even a cashier... New bed linen at night, cosy hot water bottle, listen to Iain Lee on Talkradio.co.uk at 10pm :)

Hello again, how was your day?

For me I've found that taking St John's Wort and a decent vitamin D supplement have really helped (took about 6 weeks). Also I've started walking to work and doing a yoga class which both give me headspace to just be me. Hope you feel better soon xx

Hope you are feeling better today reallydown

When I was very low I used to try and write 3 things that I was grateful for/made me smile. Sometimes it was really small things like "I rememberEd to buy milk yesterday so could have coffee today" or "had a hot bath" but thinking of the positives really helped.

Also agree with the pp who said come off of social media. Quitting Facebook was the best thing I ever did

Try and make yourself happy at all times. Obviously, this isn't realistic and life can be absolute shit and I'm not talking about when a loved one dies or other horrific things, but when times are just 'ok,' then concentrate on making yourself happy your number one priority. Think what it is you like and do more of it. If you work, have a nice snack/lunch packed, a chocolate bar in your bag for after a boring meeting. Treat yourself to a takeout on a Friday. Watch comedy on tv. Read, paint your nails, play games, get a pet, listen to happy music, dance in the living room to your favourite songs, etc. Have little things to look forward to every single day. Make sure you get fresh air daily too and always get dressed. Get a new hairstyle to make you feel better. But some new clothes that you really feel good in. Meet friends as often as you can, even if you don't have any best friends. Excerise to happy music. Smile, even when you don't feel like smiling.

Making your home nicer also helps to lift the mood, even if it's just buying daffodils for the living room. Burn incense and don't spend too much time on social media.

Remember that nobody's life is as great as you might think it is. Social media really doesn't help with this. We all go through shit and feel very down sometimes. Someone always has it worse off than you.

Get out and flirt, there's nothing like a bit a flirting to make you smile ;)
Oh and summer is only around the corner...the warm sun on your face (haha, we hope) and the smell of freshly cut grass is like a tonic after the crappy winter

If it's your kind of thing, go for a massage. It can really help as we humans do (mostly) need some touch and can get quite sad and mad without it. Like you I'm single so don't get skin touch and I find a massage every now and then does meet that need.

Hi all. To those who asked how my day was (ta for kindness) still not good.

I can't get a dog or a cat for logistic reasons. I do volunteer but it doesn't seem to help.

HappyAxolotl (great name) I totally get where you are coming from and I do this which kind of helps but I now tend to lie there and think "god I'm so unattractive that I have to pay someone to touch me".

My life is very sad and very pathetic. I feel very lonely.

It's all odd because on the surface it looks like a great life - no one would ever know - but I feel so down and so unloved and unlovable. I genuinely know I will be single forever and I've come to terms with that but the fall out is feeling pretty shit about myself.

The thing I would love most in the world is to fall asleep and wake up in the arms of a man I love. Never going to happen for me. So I'm reduced to paying for a stranger to give me a massage.

Op, why will you be single forever? How old you? Genuine question as perhaps you are in old age but my nana met a boyfriend in a pub in her 60s and continued to see him well in to her 70s. She would go out to pub quizzes every few nights, drink beer and enjoy life, even in her wheelchair.
Is there a reason why you think you will be single for the rest of your life?

I don't get the volunteering advice to be honest, the last thing I want to do after a week at work is to go and be bossed about again but for no pay.

So you're lonely and you said you have no real true friends. That is a sad state but it can be changed. What do you do to socialise? Have you tried something like Meetup, which is meant for strangers to chat to each other in a comfy environment? I belong to a Coffee Girls Meetup where we meet at coffee shops on a Sunday afternoon for coffee, cake and a good natter. I haven't made friends from it yet but have enjoyed the couple of hours in nice company and maybe friendships will evolve.

What are your interests? Where do you think "your people" might be?

Are you shy or socially anxious? There are books, websites etc that could help. Again, I've seen Meetups for people who feel this way!

It is always going to be possible to meet a partner (although some of us do find it difficult) but I'd recommend leaving it until you feel a lot better within yourself and your life as loneliness does skew our knobhead filters. Concentrate on finding nice friends first and you'll be in a better place.

get help from doctors, or a meds review if you already have

give yourself time for any new meds or levels to kick in

update your space, redecorating, declutter

use some confidence or other self help books

do a little dating

use meetup.com

get out for fresh air and walking at least once a day

seek specific therapies if you can eg for social anxiety or confidence. There's coping mechinisms you can learn

join a social hobby like LARP, archery or... well anything along those lines

don't be one of those people that dismisses advice all the time and never does anything to change. Get out of your comfort zone - way out, and regularly. Your confidence will grow each time you do.

get yourself a MAC or no7 makeover - get a pedicure... treat yourself and look after yourself grooming wise

Get yourself outdoors with a dog. Really engage with the dog, he or she will help you!

That's how Davina McCall met her husband! She swore off partying, got a dog and took up early-morning jogging with the dog, and Muttley made friends with her future husband's dog!