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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fed up with dh and DD

16 replies

Greatballsofedam · 05/02/2017 18:58

In October I booked a short 4 night holiday abroad for the coming half term.
As we are there for such a short amount of time I repeatedly asked dh to look at the excursions and help me plan an iterneriary, because some of the best places only allowed a certain amount of people
I must have asked about 10 times, leaving brochures open and websites on view. eventually on Friday he decided to look at them, when. I went to book the one I really wanted to do only to find it had sold out, so can't get in
My dd is 13 in half term, I have repeatedly asked her what she wants to do.
I eventually got out of her that she wanted to do trampoline ing and sleepover. Half her friends I don't know, and i need to get her friends mums to sign waivers and book the session, but can't do it until I know how many are coming.
So far I have asked her 4 times to do the invitations on the computer, she promised to do them today so she could take them to school tomorrow
Suprise suprise she has spent all day playing games on her lap top and Snapchat / Instagram ing on her phone.

Dh and DD are made from the same mould, both don't give a fuck as they expect me to sort it out and I always have, I cannot do the invites for her as I have had an op on my right arm.

AIBU to do nothing and not mention the party again, just leave the ball in her court. She is going to be 13 as far as I'm concerned the age to start learning and taking responsibility. If Snapchat is more important than invites to her friends then it's her loss and maybe she will learn the lesson that mummy will no longer do everything.
I'm fed up with the pair of them.

OP posts:

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 05/02/2017 19:02

YANBU. Leave her to it. Act surprised when she mentions it and it's too late. Lesson learned.

I think you need to go on strike.

SaltySalt · 05/02/2017 19:05

I'd just say " well I did ask you so tough"

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/02/2017 19:10

If they don't give a fuck, why do you? So she doesn't get the party? So what; she doesn't give a fuck. So you go to the place you want to go and he doesn't; tough poop for him.

You need to stop blaming and start booking the stuff you want and ignoring the rest. Deadline them. Do it by x date or you do it yourself.

deliverdaniel · 05/02/2017 19:11

I think you should give her a warning. as In "if you don't sort out the invitations today then it will be too late, and this time I won't do it for you so there will be no party"
Then you've given her a fair and clear warning and the consequences are hers.

foxyloxy78 · 05/02/2017 20:54

Go on strike! Leave them to it!

harderandharder2breathe · 05/02/2017 21:10

Sort yourself out for holiday excursions if no one else can be arsed but only book yourself.

Leave the party up to her to sort out. Give her a deadline and stick to it. Explain about the waivers and stuff and that if she doesn't sort it by x date then it won't be happening.

EZA15 · 05/02/2017 21:20

Agree with pp's leave them to it. As for the booked up excursion, I'd phone the company and request to be placed on the cancellation list if there is one

RebelRogue · 05/02/2017 21:25

Does DD know you need all that stuff for the party and that's why it needs to be done NOW, or does she think you can just turn up there,she can invite people in person and you're just being "formal " about invitations?

HarryPottersMagicWand · 05/02/2017 21:31

YANBU. Leave them to it. They can learn the hard way.

Original poster

Greatballsofedam · 05/02/2017 21:43

The waivers she doesn't - actually it's not a huge problem as the mums can bring them to the session, but I've told her I need invitations sent because I need phone numbers of the parents and confirmation of number of children. Being half term some may be on holiday. Think I'll take the advice and do nothing, save myself about £80 in the process

OP posts:

Topseyt · 05/02/2017 21:45

Leave them to their own devices.

You should have perhaps just booked the excursion you really wanted without waiting for your DH to do fuck all. Bear that in mind for the future if something is particularly important to you, as you know he won't be arsed.

As for DD's party, if she doesn't do the invitations they won't do themselves. There will be no party if she doesn't get her arse into gear.

Oakmaiden · 05/02/2017 21:59

My daughter is 13. She does her own party invitations now - although most 13 year olds just sent a text/instagram/whatever they favour to their friends rather than do formal invitations.

YouHadMeAtCake · 05/02/2017 22:03

YANBU. I agree with pp. Leave them to it. It's ignorant behaviour and they need to learn not to rely on you for everything.

Notnownornever · 05/02/2017 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 05/02/2017 22:05

time for some tough love....

shrug your shoulders and say "you were asked repeatedly, but could not be arsed"

and do what you want on your holiday, let them trail in your wake! Make sure you enjoy yourself to spite them!
AND just to prove the point you could always write them a letter each, resigning your position as Family Entertainments Officer with imeiate effect..."shit wages, NO job satisfaction and the other workers are VILE!"

Penfold007 · 05/02/2017 22:42

Seriously stop being a martyr and enabling their behaviour.

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