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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for the same homework for twins?

47 replies

yaela123 · 05/02/2017 18:24

I have 6 kids. The oldest is 16 and the youngest are 5. That's a lot of homework!

My youngest (twins) are in year 1 and have just started getting homework this year. They have a colour coding system at their school with different level work. I think it's red=easiest, yellow=middle, and green=hardest.

One of them pretty much always gets the yellow, the other sometimes the yellow but usually the green. Me or DH tends to help them, which is no problem but it is so much quicker when they have the same work as each other and can do it together.

OTOH I don't want to limit or challenge one of them too much. But then again they're 5 - it doesn't matter that much does it?

WIBU to ask the teacher to always give them the same sheet?

OP posts:

spanieleyes · 05/02/2017 18:26

Do you want them treated as clones of each other!

Just because they are twins does not mean they have the same needs-academic or otherwise. The teacher has set the work they need at the level they need. Why should one twin suffer to make things easier for you!

lalalalyra · 05/02/2017 18:27

You can't do that imo. You'd either be asking the teacher to hold one back or to give one homework that's above their level.

Namesarehard · 05/02/2017 18:27

No I wouldn't ask the teacher that. They are individuals and should be treated as such. It sounds there's a clear reason why the work is colour coded, why should one have work that they wouldn't have otherwise been given? It may take you longer to help them but it's no different than if you have more than one child with homework anyway.

WheresTheEvidence · 05/02/2017 18:32

They are different people and have different abilities. They need to work on their weaknesses and this is what they do when they're doing their colour coded their work. How would you feel if they missed out on a certain skill had a gap in their learning because you dictated that they both be treated as 1 child with the same ability

Katy07 · 05/02/2017 18:34

Artandco · 05/02/2017 18:35

No of course you can't. I have two, one school year apart. You get used to haven't to help and explain different levels at the same time.

Marylou2 · 05/02/2017 18:36

I would speak to the teacher and ask his/her opinion on the differing academic ability of your twins. Maybe the twin on the lower level could benefit from some extra support at home to raise their attainment. It would certainly be unreasonable to hold the more academic of the two back.

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 05/02/2017 18:36

They are individuals at different levels, it would be unfair to stunt one because it's easier for you.

Flicketyflack · 05/02/2017 18:36

They are individual children, please treat them as such.

coldcanary · 05/02/2017 18:37

You'd be basically admitting that you want them to have the same homework so they can copy each other - how on earth would that help anyone? YABU, they're at different levels and their work is obviously targeted to their needs rather than how easy it is for their parents to help them.

Original poster

yaela123 · 05/02/2017 18:39

You're right - it isn't their fault they have a twin and they shouldn't suffer.

I thought because it's only year 1 it wouldn't matter but I guess that doesn't really make a difference.

OP posts:

fruityb · 05/02/2017 18:40

My twin and I were very different academically. We also hated being treated like one person! You'd be holding one back. Not good.

m0therofdragons · 05/02/2017 18:43

I have twins in year 1 and they are in separate classes but all dc get the same homework, occasionally with an extension but parents decide whether this is done. We always take a twin at a time to do it despite it being the same as they're very competitive and one copies the others work etc.

Spellings wise they're sometimes on different levels. You can't hold one back, you just can't. However in swimming they're not moving up until they can both go up - that's more to do with logistics with 3dc.

BathshebaDarkstone · 05/02/2017 18:43

If one's more capable than the other, he/she should get more difficult work. DS1 was bored shitless for the first couple of years because they weren't stretching him.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 05/02/2017 18:45

YABU. I have identical twins in separate classes, and yes it is a pain in the arse, but it's unfair to actively encourage the school to treat them as a unit.

If they are doing the same then fair enough - ours are roughly the same level but because they're in different classes they rarely have the same homework.

californiansunrise · 05/02/2017 18:45

You can't hold one twin back to make life easier for you

greathat · 05/02/2017 18:46

I don't understand how year 1 "doesn't matter". Its preparing them for everything that comes after...

Beardsareweird · 05/02/2017 18:47

I feel your pain, OP. Homework really has very little value. I only set it because it is school policy, and I certainly don't differentiate it because I have no control over the support the children are getting (if any) at home. I have enough work to do preparing and marking the work the children do in school, without worriying about setting homework tailored for children of different abilities. I would agree with the comments of some posters above if you wanted your twins to have the same work when they are in schook, but this is homework. No big deal.

Beardsareweird · 05/02/2017 18:47

*school

seesensepeople · 05/02/2017 18:53

YANBU to wonder about this and if I were you I would ask. I have identical twins and they are identical in their academic abilities as well. They work best when together as they support and mentor each other - it's how they are together. Secondary school has insisted on splitting them into different teaching groups, not based on ability but based on separating them for their emotional development (despite suffering the death of their father just before moving up to secondary). What has amazed everyone is that they have got exactly the same scores on end of year tests all the way through; I kid you not! They will get their papers back and for example might have got different answers wrong byt both score 87% in maths or 92% in French...They are predicted the same grades at GCSE this summer as well. Oh and they perform best in the classes where they are now back together. Funny people twins - the same but different.

thebakerwithboobs · 05/02/2017 19:33

I'm a head and also a mother of twins among six children (are you in fact me??). I have every sympathy and can completely understand why you'd consider this but, as I think you know and other posters have said, your twins are individuals and are assessed as such. They obviously have different abilities, strengths and opportunities for development which is being recognised by their teacher. That's great news for them. It's also great news that they have such supportive parents who want to support and help them-I speak for every teacher in the land when I say that is half the battle won already for them.

If it is causing a real problem, could you chat to the teacher about when homework is set? Is there enough time to complete it? Could you use some additional coaching yourselves on the topics to help teach it? That last point sounds patronising but it isn't meant to-so many parents say to us 'that's now how it was taught in my day' (chunking, for example, is a true delight for most parents) and a refresher of the methods and policies for the subjects might help.

CaraAspen · 05/02/2017 19:39

OP:
Surely you realise that although they might be twins, their intelligence levels are different? If the teacher gives them different sheets, there is a good reason for doing so.

In secondary schools, twins are often put into different classes, the thinking behind this being that one tends to rely on the other or not pull her/his weight in an individual level, if they are together.

CaraAspen · 05/02/2017 19:40

...on an individual level...

Shallishanti · 05/02/2017 19:42

You have a 16 yo. Ask them to help.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/02/2017 19:43

They may be twins but they are individuals and I think it's a really good sign that their teachers are treating them as individuals. They will have differing levels of ability - they'll never be exactly the same.

It may be easier for you to do one set of homework but I don't think that's fair on the kids.

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