To consider a pay cut of over 50%

[Believeitornot]

AIBU to take a massive pay cut in order to get better quality of life and work closer to home?

I currently work in a senior job, earn a high salary etc. But I am tired of the commute (nearly 3 hours a day), missing the dcs and the stress.

I've started looking for more local jobs which are either a short walk or drive from home. I could massively reduce childcare costs (we have a nanny and I'd switch to before/afternoon school clubs) so my net pay wouldn't be much lower.

However as I'm still young (early 30s), it seems a bit of a waste to essentially throw away my career. I've no guarantee I'd even get a lower paid job or that I would be able to work my way back up to a better paid one.

However I'm fed up. I've wanted to leave this job for years and I feel depressed. Sometimes I struggle to get up in the mornings and just want the world to stop.

has anyone taken a huge pay cut and can they tell me if it worked out or not?

That was an insightful post Believeit - you've obviously given this a lot of consideration already. It sounds like the main thing is the commute. I think the stress of the job may be feeling exaggerated at present because you're so tired and worrying about everything.

Despite the upheaval, maybe moving back would be a good option longer term?

What other opportunities are there for your career if you stay where you are? Does it necessarily have to mean such a back step or significant pay cut?

I'd be wary about changing jobs at the moment simply because of what you said in your post about your DH. If it doesn't work out for whatever reason, or you damage your earning potential significantly long term, it may result in a lot of resentment towards your DH even if you don't mean it to.

I took what was, to me, a massive pay cut (from £36-38,000 pa to £18-22,000pa) a few years ago - not for children but because I'd got sick and tired of the politics of my profession; hated the way senior management expected junior management to make decisions and then not back them up to the management up the chain of command; and, above all, it gave me more time with my family and more control over when I worked. 6 years later and, while more money would be nice, the control and flexibility is more important!!

I'd do it - my kids are almost ready to fly the nest now and it goes so quickly. I won't ever get those days back - I've chopped and changed around my work/life balance, and it's all worked out in the end. I don't imagine many people go to their deathbeds saying they wish they'd spent more time on their careers. Cuddle those DC while they still need you x

I don't want to move house and schools again. We've moved them already. My dcs are settled in their second school. I can't do it again!

I regret the move because of the commute. It'll be easier when they're a lot older and if I can cut it down to three days a week maybe less.

I still can't decide but thank you all for your words of wisdom.

Just to add - if I stayed in my career I'd get more promotions, better pay and all of that.

If I took the pay cut I think I could work myself back up again. I'd keep my qualification up to date, just in a much lower grade. So it's not a ridiculously huge gamble as such. If I were leaving the sector it would be a bigger gamble.

Can you organise to work from home at least one day a week if your line of work can be done from home? It sounds like you currently have one day off a week, if you can have an additional day to work from home that would mean only 3 days of commuting a week?

If there is resistance at work to working from home, can you ask to trial it for a fixed period to see how it works?

I was going to suggest what cheese said, which is to apply to work from home at least once a week. With a long commute, it makes a massive difference. I schedule my work from home day to coincide with sports days etc and doctors' appointments and makes me feel more involved with my dcs' lives despite working full time.

Have you tried asking your employer for flexible working? That is worth a try first.

Otherwise, you can always gear up later if you are prepared to take a longer commute or work in an industry that has upside over time.

I would explore other options first, like wfh a day or two each week. Reducing hours to a four day week or both you and your partner doing so. My husband has done this to enable me to work in a demanding job with travel. He negotiated working 4 days & I work 3. Whilst this reduced income, the wider benefit is that we share a lot more of the load and he has more time with the children. We only need childcare 2 days per week. Also, if you reduce hours in a well paid job, you could volunteer to do something very different to get different experience. I have a small voluntary job which is light relief and nothing to do with my day job.

I too would worry less about the money (as it sounds like you could manage) and how difficult it could be to move from a senior job to a junior one once the novelty has worn off and your children get older. I suppose it depends what level you're thinking of moving down to but you could be replacing one lot of stress with another as it can be utterly soul destroying to be low down the chain with no control of your work etc.

I'm not saying you can't work your way back up but think very hard before you give it up....I'd exhaust other options first, wfh, part time etc, a similar job closer to home? before making such a drastic decision. That said I quit a job 3 years ago without anything else to go to and so far haven't regretted it but I wasn't as high up the ladder as you so had less to leave. Perhaps you could look at a downgrade but maybe not one significantly lower than you are now which a 50% pay cut indicates?

I took a massive pay cut (over 50%), but it didn't feel like it because I was a SAHM in between, so when I started the lower paid job I was coming from a position of zero iyswim.

My lower paid job is not a much more junior role, but it's a change of direction and in the public sector. Also I work part time now.

I love it. My new job really suits me, it's challenging and occasionally stressful but nothing like the pressure and long hours of my old job. I love working part time and I have a great work life balance.

I think it depends on your values. Sure there are risks to taking a pay cut, and future job progression, but as long as basic needs are met, and a buffer, then £ is a choice not a neccesity.

There are risks to working so hard as well - on your emotional wellbeing and on your relationships with your children.

So perhaps at this moment in your life your realise the pros of £ don't outweigh the cons? The quote comes to mind 'how will you live your one precious life?

If your dh is getting well paid and you're unhappy, I would very much consider stepping away. As long as you pool income, I don't believe you both need well paid jobs. I also don't think you should expect him to step away from his role if he is happy in it. That would be just to appease your guilt at earning loads less, wouldn't it? It's fine to not earn your potential, you know. I'm chronically ill so can't work. Dh brings in a good wage thankfully. And I tinker at doing up houses and selling them on. Brings me in maybe 20k and pays for my private healthcare bills. You only get one life.

Work to live not live to work.

But do be as sure as you can that the lower paid job will really offer a better balance.

Some lower paid jobs are actually harder, more demanding and more responsible than higher paid ones (something the smug muppets who insist on believing worth as a human being is directly indicated by income ignore when they justify social inequality, looking down on others and outrage at having to pay tax like everyone else by referring to their money as "hard earned").

A long time ago I left a well paid office job to train as a teacher, and my starting salary was under half that of the office job I left. Teaching was of course multiple times more stressful and less favourable to a work life balance despite the office job being one with a long hours culture. I changed careers pre kids and actually because I was looking for something more fulfilling rather than just something entirely profit orientated not for the work/ life balance so much then, but non the less I ended up leaving teaching after 5 years because it really is a far shittier job than I realised before I tried it! By that point I couldn't go back to the sort of job I had left 5 years earlier, and now do something else entirely and am thinking about another change now in my 40s!

Think through what you're changing to as well as what you're leaving, is my advice. However I agree it isn't worth doing long hours and a long commute to a job that makes you miserable if you could afford to do something less awful.

No I wouldn't do it,as it's huge drop and could have long term significance
I don't read your partner is considering a 50% pay cut.why is it only you
Why do you Need to be adapting for childcare,and pickups.why not him or share it

If I could afford it, I would definitely do this.

I took a 100% pay cut to become a SAHM and it was the best decision I ever made. I felt anxious before I did it, but honestly haven't regretted it once since tho it is early days.

I suspect if you've thought about it carefully and you're sure it's what you want, be bold and do it.

I took a pay cut of 1/3 by moving to a less stressful job and going part time. I wish I'd done in much sooner, I feel saner and happier than I have in a long time. I made sure we could comfortably afford it though, if we'd had to cut back too much I might not have made the same decision!

I'm considered something similar so will watch with interest the money and time spent commuting are a real drain. Don't think I would be that much worse of in a lower paid job

Op,read threads about women who've reduced/given up work,not just the fluffy go for it posts
Threads about boredom,reliance on dp,struggle to get career back on track
And why can't you both share a day a week,both work flexibly.why is it you not him

I've read those threads. I don't want to give up working.

DH works from home one day a week. He enjoys his job and doesn't see it as feasible to bump down hours plus is worried about money. I suspect deep down he just doesn't think it's an issue. I do. Sometimes I get upset if I can't get him to see it is important to our family, not just to me.

I would totally do it - why do people assume you would be bored in a lower paid job? A job's worth and the satisfaction it can give isn't necessarily measured by its salary.

I simply could not be arsed with that kind of commuting and as a PP said, no one ever went to their death wishing they had spent more time working!

Yes living costs are high and so salaries are important but I think as a society there is too much focus on earning potential and 'climbing the ladder' and not enough on happiness and work/life balance.

Could you reduce your hours in your current role?

Given your husband won't reduce/alter hours it's obv unimportant to him
He's okay for you to reduce wage by 50% and jeopardise career progression
I think it's madness to do this.but you'll be jollied along by mn tales of getting by and how fulfilled you'll be
Meanwhile your dh continues his career uninterrupted, no wage drop

I already work four days a week and can't reduce them further. It's the commute which is the issue really. If I had a local job which was four days a week and flexible, that would be great! But to get the local bit I have to take a cut. I might lose flexibility.

I can and do volunteer outside of work (I've given up a role recently after moving house) and get fulfilment this way. Plus I have a good social life and exercise etc. So I'm less worried about being bored at work.

I think I'm going to at least apply for lower paid local jobs. The worst that happens is I get one and change my mind, right?

Dh took a massive pay cut & huge loss in future earnings (left the City when he was still fairly junior -so before the benefits of years of working there & we moved 300 miles).

He still works very long hours and we have struggled with the pay cut at times. However, for us the benefits massively outweigh the disadvantages. I have a list of life regrets - that's not on the list. Leaving his job & moving was one of the best decisions we made.

You have to know what you want really - it's only your decision.

I stepped off the career ladder ages ago (severely disabled child - no choice), but now things have changed and I start retraining in a profession I have wanted to work in for years in September, I'll be 50 by the time I have retrained - it's never too late.