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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike 40 yr old dh calling his mother "mummy"

196 replies

Mala · 27/02/2007 09:16

Always think mummy sounds horrible, unless the person is under 16. I mean it's okay as a one off, but as an adult I prefer mum. Also don't like dd calling her grandmother "grandmummy"(which is how dh will often refer her as).

OP posts:
marthamoo · 27/02/2007 11:53

I haven't called my Mum "Mummy" for at least 30 years. I was sad when ds1 stopped calling me Mummy though.

Tell you what is weird...husbands and wives calling each other "Mum" and "Dad" - dh's parents do this. Not as in saying to dh and his siblings "can you ask your Dad such and such?" but to each other, eg.,"would you like a cup of tea, Dad?" If dh ever calls me Mum I'll think he's lost the plot.

marthamoo · 27/02/2007 11:54

Which is exactly what ernest just said (really should read the thread properly...)

piglit · 27/02/2007 11:55

at a dh calling his dw mother/mum/mummy and vice versa.

DumbledoresGirl · 27/02/2007 12:17

piglit, what should a grown man call his mother then?

DumbledoresGirl · 27/02/2007 12:21

Oh sorry, mis-read your post. Ignore me. Well, I was ignored anyway!

cremolafoam · 27/02/2007 12:26

Mother and dad

agree 'mummy' from a grown up is wierdy

Troutpout · 27/02/2007 12:40

wierd

Caligula · 27/02/2007 12:47

Oh I think it's horrible calling your MIL/ mother something she doesn't want to be called.

Wait till you have grandchildren and they call you something you hate.

Judy1234 · 27/02/2007 13:23

I hate mum. Even the name of this site makes it down market and working class with that dreadful name of "mumsnet" Yuck. Who calls their mother mum - it's disgusting. Mummy all the way whatever your age.

Mummies of the UK unite against dumbing down to mum. My grown up children call me mummy. Lots of their friends call their mother mummy.

southeastastra · 27/02/2007 13:25

heheh xenia

Troutpout · 27/02/2007 13:27

pmsl Xenia
you are funny

lynniep · 27/02/2007 13:29

We're due with our first DC in a couple of days and my DH has decided he wants us to start calling each other 'mother' and 'father' Yes its 95% tongue in cheek but I reckon that last 5% is deadly serious, but then he's always been a bit, um, eccentric - thats why I love him!

I agree with comments on regional variations - for instance a lot of my family are from the County Durham and Teesside area, and it was fairly standard when I was young for kids to use 'mam' as opposed to 'mum', as my dad did to his mother. My step-mum called her parents mummy and daddy though until they passed away when she was in her fifties, which contradicts my previous sentence! I think thats a bit odd, and stopped calling my dad 'daddy' when I was about 14 I think.

Its a lot to do with individuals perception of a 'title'. I use my step-mums forename, but when referring to her I don't use 'step-mam' because I think it sounds a bit rough with my accent (sort of mish mash northern).
My step-mum refuses to be called 'granny' or 'grandma' because she thinks it makes herself old and grey - instead she prefers 'nanna'.

My MIL (from Cheshire) prefers 'grandma' because she thinks 'nanna' sounds common! I used 'nanny' for mine, but I was brought up by her, so it was kind of a substitute for 'mummy' My own mother calls herself 'mom', as she's lived in the USA for nearly 30 years, but I use her forename as I don't know her very well. Otherwise I think its a bit insulting to call a parent by their forename, as if they have been demoted from their important role in some way

UnquietDad · 27/02/2007 13:33

Huge cultural/regional/class complexities to be unravelled in what people call their grandmothers. It's almost as complicated as what people call their meals!

dmo · 27/02/2007 14:09

my bil calls his parents mummy and daddy its an irish thing
my dh calls his parents mum and dad
and sil calls them by their first names

all bizzare if you ask me

BandofMothers · 27/02/2007 14:17

Think it depends on you called your grandparents.
I love Granny, cos mine is Granny, but my mum likes to be Nanna, cos she had a nanna that she adored.

JustSometimes · 27/02/2007 14:41

Mummy / Daddy
Ma / Pa
Dad / Mum
Maman /Papa
Mutter / Vater (pronouced Farter - always made me smile at school)

Whatever we've been brought up to call someone close is normal to those who have been brought up that way. Strange to those who haven't. Some children call their parents by their first names, which can be also odd to some and normal to others.

Doesn't make any difference to me. A name is a name. Are we being over critical and is the expectation for us to all follow the social norm?

Judy1234 · 27/02/2007 15:05

It just annoys me that the twins' school reading books are full of black children, disabled children,, mothers with window cleaning jobs etc etc and poor children etc but they never ever encompass our world. it's so biased and unfair. Why should we not be part of this inclusion? Why can't some of their books use mummy and others not? Thank goodness for Enid Blyton. In fact when I read aloud to the twins I always substitute mum for mummy. Sometimes they don't notice and sometimes they do.

Caligula · 27/02/2007 16:25

LOL. D'you think mums have dinner at lunchtime?

Caligula · 27/02/2007 16:26

at "thank goodness for Enid Blyton".

That would be a brilliant title for a TV programme. A parentin one? A comedy? Hmm.

UnquietDad · 27/02/2007 16:28

Dinner at lunchtime. With nan. Before going into the lounge to sit on the sofa.

Judy1234 · 27/02/2007 16:53

Although the trouble with Enid Blyton is the sexism. When we were 12 my sister and I would read aloud bits of her books to each other and we would reverse the names so the girls would say the boys' lines - that really showed the inherent sexism of it and how people were in those days.

northerner · 27/02/2007 16:56

So xenia thinks 'Mum' is common!! Blimey, I come from Redcar and I have to call my Mum - MAM. She gets huffy if it's any other. Even complains if I don't get a acrd with 'happy birthdya Mam' on the front.

UnquietDad · 27/02/2007 17:10

I bet they are impossible to find, northerner.

DW's mum likes to be known by a name that doesn't exist. You can't get cards with it on.

booge · 27/02/2007 17:11

Mummy is more aspirational than proper posh ime. In the same vein as the what/pardon and napkin/serviette debate except people who say Mummy are more likely to go to pony club.

Judy1234 · 27/02/2007 17:12

I'm from Newcastle. Plenty of people I know there call their parents mummy and daddy.

Anyway don't take me seriously. It's only words. I just happen to cringe at the word "mum" just like some people on this thread cringe at mummy. I wonder if the French or Germans in their own languages have the same kinds of distinctions we have in the UK or are we unique. Presumably the Indian castes do or do they speak entirely different languages?