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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sweets

41 replies

SingingInTheRainstorm · 04/02/2017 22:22

So DS & DD love these ice lollies as they have popping candy in, so when doing an online shop found they had some groovy popping candy.

DH has gone off at the deep end saying their teeth will fall out, how as a Mum could I think it was a good idea. Just to reiterate this was one bag of popping candy which is about 20g maybe.

I don't eat chocolate, so never tried these lollies they all have. I think I'm allowed to buy this as an odd treat, it's not going to kill them. It even comes with a lolly & glow in the dark snappy thing.

I am fed up of my parenting decisions being undermined. It goes as far as the elder DC will ask DH did you sleep well in a morning, I get ignored as I don't visibly do the exciting stuff like drive to school. DH has to go that way anyway so it doesn't make sense doing 2 car journies.

What are your thoughts about the very limited one off treat of sweets?

OP posts:
EnormousTiger · 05/02/2017 07:38

Couples have to decide these things themselves. There are no rights or wrongs.
We don't have a sweet cupboard. My children are teenagers. They don't buy sweets very often or chocolate and one is vegan.

I am not a sweets and chocolate fan in terms of health and I would side with your husband here actually. Why not just not eat any of them every yourself and ditto the children?

iklboo · 05/02/2017 09:37

Heston BloomingHeck uses popping candy in several of his recipes. And charges about £250 for the privilege.

WhooooAmI24601 · 05/02/2017 09:46

One of DS1's friends isn't allowed sweets of any sort. He comes here often. He stays over often. I suspect both of those are directly linked to the fact that sweets and treats are available here. I don't ever offer him sweets and wouldn't undermine his Mum's views, but if DS1 shares sweets with him that I'm unaware of, I won't lose sleep over it.

Your DH is BU if he believes certain types of sweets are worse; so long as you teach and enforce great dental hygiene your DCs will be fine. Sweets shouldn't be an every day treat but as part of a balanced diet they're unlikely to cause lasting damage. There doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing attitude.

butterfly990 · 05/02/2017 11:24

We have treat Friday. Typically my 3 will choose something each like a chocolate bar and a packet of sweets to share. I also classify crisps and ice cream as treat items. There might be the odd thing over the weekend.

I don't want treats to be forbidden fruit but at the same time I want them to be considered "treats" and not frequent events.

Champers4Pampers · 05/02/2017 11:36

DH is overreacting.

OP you can come to my house and eat all the mini bounties. No-one her likes them.

Popping candy on the other hand is amazing Grin

Baffledonthisone · 08/02/2017 09:59

(Got distracted)

Sweets
Trifleorbust · 08/02/2017 10:04

It must be annoying to have someone undermine your decisions like this. Parents who disagree should usually compromise.

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 08/02/2017 10:23

Wasn't it Space Dust in the 80's? I used to buy a pack a day going back to school after lunch. Made afternoon Registration less boring. :)

Totally verboten to eat sweets in class, of course. ;)

Pinkheart5915 · 08/02/2017 10:31

I don't have any issues with my babies having sweets. As long as a child isn't eating sweets everyday day it won't do any harm.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 08/02/2017 10:41

I don't know how anyone can get worked up about a child having the odd sweet. Unless they have sweets every single day I honestly can't see it doing any harm.

When I was little Monday-Friday it was no sweets but on Saturday and Sunday my parents use to let me have a few sweets or make cakes

Baffledonthisone · 08/02/2017 10:43

That. Was. Heaven.

Sweets
PleasantPhesant · 08/02/2017 10:45

Give him a Biscuit from us

Amithenormalone · 08/02/2017 10:49

I don't refuse my children anything. I don't actually buy sweets, crisps, biscuits, chocolate ect on the weekly Shopping but twice per week they will get something as a treat like last night they had a cupcake. I think refusing to let them have as just as bad an affect as letting them have free rein as once they do finally get hold of sweet stuff they over indulge.
Also I have never known a dentist actually tell me no to sweets at all its all been in moderation. A packet of popping candy isn't going to do damage. Health attitudes towards diet and food is the way to work I think.

purplecollar · 08/02/2017 12:43

I used to give my dc free access to sweets. A little bit here and there won't do them any harm, particularly as they don't eat much and are underweight. They get given sweets at school quite a bit and they just store them in their backpack. They don't really crave them, or will have a bit and leave the rest.

But, the 11 year old went to the dentist this week and needed 3 fillings. All in baby teeth fortunately that are due to fall out. But it was a bit horrifying.

Dentist's advice was to have one treat day and cut down sugar intake during the week. It's not so much the amount of sugar it's the number of times they're eating it. Grazing is not good, neither is sipping juice. Although fruit sugar is not as bad as refined sugar.

Her brushing is fine apparently so it really must be down to the sugar I think.

So we are now switching from watered down fruit juice to no added sugar squash. Sweets are now for Sundays only. And snacks between meals will be phased out.

So I would say op, don't be buying them treats if they're not even asking for them.

Magicpaintbrush · 08/02/2017 12:57

I don't like my DD having too much sugar, just for health and teeth reasons, BUT there is a great deal of difference between excessive amounts and the occasional treat. It sounds to me like this is an occasional treat, it's not like you are feeding them haribo for breakfast. I think it's fine as it's not all the time and your DH should wind his neck in a bit. Like I say, I don't exactly jump for joy if my DD wants sweets for pud, but she does have them sometimes because I'm not a draconian cow (even though if I'm honest I hate watching her eat that junk) - other times she has fruit.

A friend once told me she had relatives who put a total sugar ban on their kids, and then one day on the train one of the kids spotted a squashed sweet trodden onto the floor of the train, pounced and ate it before anyone could stop her Shock - so that is what becomes of being too restrictive. Everything in moderation etc.

SapphireSeptember · 08/02/2017 13:00

I'm not exactly a good example, as I've had several of my adult teeth pulled out due to them being rotten, but I don't see anything wrong with the odd bag of sweets. I also love acidic things (also bad, if I eat grapefruit, for example, my teeth feel really scuzzy) and things like raisins and potatoes are also really bad for your teeth as they stick to the enamel.

Of course, your kids could be doing what I used to do, and be eating icing sugar with a spoon, which is horrendous, (but oh so yummy.)

Biscuit for your DH (low sugar of course Wink )

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