I'm not too sure myself what I'm asking here or why it's niggling me but it is.
I'll try not to drip feed so please bare with me.
I have a friend who I'll call A.
We have been good friends for a long time.
I was there for her when she divorced her abusive husband. She's always been there for me too.
I feel that recently she has changed, and that's fine we are all free to change. However she isn't acting like the good friend I know and it's irritating me.
She has had lots of counselling and blames the breakdown of her parents marriage as the root cause.
Her dad left at a very crucial time in her life, not getting in touch, shagging around etc etc.
He was married before and had a child with another woman. Then married another woman after he married A's mum.
As an adult she said that she always had to be the one to make an effort to see her dad. He never once came to visit her or his grandkids, ever.
Yet she still talks about him saying what a lovely man he was 🙄
Her first h was violent yet when she was married he could do no wrong. It was always everyone else who was in the wrong, not him.
She met her next partner very quickly after splitting with her husband, too quickly she now says.
He was better than her ex h but apparently still volitile.
He spent vast amounts of time away from her perusing his hobby.
Unbeknown to me she started an affair with another man ( he had a partner). She was having an affair with him whilst living with her partner.
She split with her partner, he never put her first.
Then confessed she was having an affair.
Repeatedly she told me that the affair man loved her. That he was such a lovely man.
I gently told her that no, he isn't a lovely man he is a cheat.
She got very angry with me so I shut up
Quite frankly I think she is deluding herself.
She was there to fuck.
But I didn't want to ruin our friendship so what the hell.
Anyway 5 weeks after splitting from her partner she meets someone else.
He is her soul mate apparently.
She has moved in and stopped seeing her shagging partner.
But because she doesn't want to bump into her ex affair man, she had backed out of pre planned and pre paid for excursions with me.
We have done these excursions for years.
It had made me angry that she can just drop me like that.
Her reasoning is that she doesn't want her new boyfriend to ever find out that she was having an affair, even though it was before she met him.
To say I was pissed off was an understatement.
The thing that also irritates me is that every single time I see her without fail she will say: X loves me.
X being her new man.
No matter what we are discussing
I know X loves me.
X spends an awful lot of time away from her working.
Sometimes working 7 days s week.
She is always defensive about this.
I see a pattern here.
She is justifying their relationship.
Her own daughter had told her that it won't last. She will become tired of him always working.
I saw her recently and she has asked that we go out.
Part of me thinks great.
The other part thinks no.
Don't plan anything with her.
She has let me down with our pre planned excursion.
I don't really now what I'm asking just that I don't like what she is doing.
She's also found out I'm goi g somewhere with my partner and his friends and now days oh if you can do it with his friends you can do it with her and her boyfriend.
Tbh I m not making plans for that either.
We are still friends and I don't want to throw away our friendship.