To let DS 'babysit'?

[Beaubeagle]

First time posting but long time lurker. Please be kind! 😊

I've recently gone NC with my mother (long story for another thread) but it has left me with a problem with childcare. I have 3 DS's aged 14, 10 & 5. 10yr old DS has SN.

I attend college 2 evenings a week for 3 hours. DH is self employed so works erratic/long hours and never knows what time he'll be home. I now have no guaranteed childcare for one of the evenings as my mother used to come and sit with them (DS14 would give the younger two a bath, supper and put them to bed. My mother was just literally in the house as a responsible adult). I do have a local lady that I use as a sitter for the other evening but she can't cover my second evening.

Wibu to let me DS14 (15 in the summer) look after the younger two boys from 5:30pm until potentially 9:10pm one night a week? He's very responsible and the other two get on well with him. My BF lives less than 5 mins away too if there was a problem and my college is only a 10-15 min drive away. I think I'm more worried about what others would think TBH. Wwyd?

Btw, it was my DS14's idea to babysit and he's happy to do it. I will pay extra pocket money accordingly.

Sorry for the long post!

I think this is absolutely fine! I used to babysit for my baby cousins at that age. (I was very mature) I think it's helpful for teens to be given some responsibility.

If he's sensible and you've got people nearby that he can phone if necessary then you'll be fine.

At 14 I'd regularly babysit for newborns up to about 10 year olds.

I'm usually one to err on the side of extreme caution but all this sounds absolutely fine to me.

He sounds a lovely lad!

I used to watch my 4 cousins from 19 - midnight ish when I was that age. Also my little sister (she was 8), it was never any problem. I think it's fine.

19.00 as in the time.

My elder brother 'looked after' us from about age 10, which included cooking supper for us 1 evening a week when the parents were both out from 6 until 10.

I'm sure your ds will be fine, and there are people he can ask for help from if anything really unusual occurs.

Oh agree about bath tho if the little ones will still settle without it. Adults can make some mistakes and accidents can happen. I'd let them off a bath and get oldest to get them to wash face, hands and teeth

I think it's completely fine too and your son sounds like a lovely lad.

However although he clearly sounds capable, 5.10 til 9.30 is a big chunk out of his evening and means he will have to stay up extra late to do his own homework. Plus looking after a 5 year old and a child with special needs is a significant responsibility - he won't just be keeping an eye out, he will have to be fully looking after them both at all times. I know you have said that you will give him additional pocket money, but in my opinion this should be a fairly substantial extra amount to reflect the level of responsibility he has! Not just an extra couple of quid (I know you didn't say this)

My children were 9 & 7 when their younger brother was born. As teens they frequently took care of him. I trusted them completely. I would do it.

Sounds fine to me. At 14 I was looking after 4 children for 12:hours every Saturday, I appreciate times are different now, but you're not that far away and with your bf 5 minutes away, I'd give it a go and see how it goes.

I was babysitting 3 kids (not even my own siblings so I didn't know their 'foibles') of 2, 4 and 8 when I was younger than that! Your DS sounds very mature. Perfectly fine imho

I think it sounds like a good plan. I am guessing the youngest 2 go to bed say about 7.30 so after that he can get on with homework etc I think he will relish the responsibility. Sounds like you have raised a smashing son

Sounds like a plan.

In case you wasn't aware you can now buy "smart home" cameras and sensors that might help you monitor them remotely, let you know if the front door has been opened etc. Amazon's Alexa speaker can be used as a voice trigger. There is a really cheap itunes app where you can use an iphone as a baby monitor so you can dial in on your break and watch them remotely.

Good luck with the course!

At 13-14 I was being paid to babysit other people's children, my favourite family had a 10 year old, 7 year old and toddler. And this was in the days before mobile phones were commonplace so the parents or extra help were less contactable than they are today. And I even did a couple of overnights.

The only real rule was no cooking, it was sandwiches or takeaway!

I don't see a problem with your 14 year old babysitting for a few hours.

It is for 3ish hours a night a week not running a household and doing all the childcare if your younger sons would be ok then ask your son slip him some baby sitting money.

I wouldn't, a 10 year old with SN and a 5 year old is a lot of responsibility for two whole evenings. At 14, he likely has a lot of homework too.

I got fed up of constantly being the default free sitter as I was older, it led to a lot of resentment. I didn't choose to keep adding to the household but paid the cost for it.

It's fine. As long as DH gets home as soon as he can.