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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My brother

12 replies

benetint · 03/02/2017 19:01

I absolutely adore my little brother. He's in his late 20s, 6 years younger than me and he's the funniest, most charismatic person ever.

I've always felt responsible for him and when we lost my mum 4 years ago I felt all the more so.

He has always had itchy feet and has jumped from one venture to the next. He dropped out of sixth form, but got an amazing job. He dropped out of the amazing job and went to uni, then dropped out of uni twice and went travelling. Since then he's spent the last ten years working a bit and travelling a bit which has made him happy so I'm happy for him.

Recently though I've been a bit worried about him as he seems quite down. He's back from travelling the Southern Hemisphere and as always has sailed into a fantastic job. People really love him wherever he goes - he turns up for interviews in his shorts with no qualifications but manages to get £24K high end admin jobs as he's so likeable. He's been doing the latest job for 3 months but he says he's unhappy. He wants to stop work all together and has bought a little van to live in so he has no expenses. His idea is to sleep in the van and travel round England doing auditions as he wants to be an actor.

I'm worried about him. I'm worried he'll be cold and uncomfortable. I'm worried about his security and safety. I'm worried about his future. I've told him all this gently but I know he's a grown up and needs to make his own life choices. I've always been the boring one but he's a free spirit!

My husband isn't happy though. My brother has registered and insured the van to our address and my husband is worried when my brother inevitably gets clamped/moved on/has to pay parking/speeding fines it will come to our address. He's worried if my brother refuses to pay these things then it'll affect our future mortgage chances (we're hoping to buy a house this year).

What do you think, honestly?

Thanks so much for reading

OP posts:
Crowdblundering · 03/02/2017 19:03

Pretty sure there are quite strict restrictions on where you can camp in a van - in a residential street is illegal I think.

You sound like a nice sister Halo

Chillyegg · 03/02/2017 19:05

Ummmm well id say although your brother sounds like a nice guy. Maybe he needs some counselling. That kind of flitting is ok for a while but living in a van isnt a long term way to live life. I think hell eventually get quite depressed with no money and then if he doesnt succeed in auditions get more so. Id tell him he needs to stay at the job whilst also auditioning. And to register it at your house is also kind of insurance fraud. .

EssentialHummus · 03/02/2017 19:06

I'm not sure about the ins and outs of insurance for a van in the circumstances, but more broadly if this is what he wants (for now) be supportive but let him get on with it.

showmeyourgroovymoves · 03/02/2017 19:07

I'm with your husband tbh. Particularly with the mortgage thing coming up.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 03/02/2017 19:14

If he was my brother then unless he has a history of being irresponsible in relation to finances then I would let him register the van to your address

Your DH sounds a bit mean unless your brother has form for leaving other people to pay his fines & bills etc

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 03/02/2017 19:18

His financial issues will not affect yours. The link of names to addresses has gone, and it's now just about the person, not the address.

It's been this way for over a decade now.

Let him do what he wants, you can't control him. Staying in a miserable job is not better than his alternative options.

hambo · 03/02/2017 19:21

My bil lived in a van for ages. He worked odd jobs, saved enough to buy a boat. Sold the van. Saved enough for a large boat....Now owns two houses worth millions!!! I'd let him get on with it....Life is not the same for everyone 😃

Original poster
benetint · 03/02/2017 22:09

Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate them

OP posts:
Oldraver · 03/02/2017 22:29

If he has insured his van to your house then he is commiting fraud.....when you fill in insurance forms you are asked how many vehicles at the address...what would you say ?

KC225 · 03/02/2017 22:37

If he is seriousl about being an actor then he would need an agent and most of those are in London or in the big cities. Very few acting jobs come via open auditions and he would need an equity card to get through the door. Maybe he should try drama schools.

If his ambition is to be a troubadour busking/miming in town centres then I would let him get on with it. He is a grown up and likable which will see him alright.

M00nUnit · 03/02/2017 23:22

Unless he's going to park his van overnight at camp sites that have showers and toilets he can use I don't see how he can possibly live in a van. Plus surely if you want to be an actor you need to be living in London, not travelling round the country. I'd be worried about him too. It's his life though so I don't really know what you can do about it.

Original poster
benetint · 04/02/2017 09:43

Oh goodness, insurance fraud really? I'll tell him that thank you.

I think his intention is to join a gym and shower there!

Thanks again for your advice

OP posts:
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