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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Once in a lifetime trip disguised as fundraising for Charities

501 replies

staveleymum · 03/02/2017 13:09

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for people raising money for Charity. People asking for sponsorship for things like Marathons, 1000 miles walked in a year, midnight walks, etc. I'm also on board with Red Nose Day, Children in Need, PTA fundraising, kids clubs fundraising and everything else that seems to constantly need money to run.

BUT I just don't get fundraising for things like hiking up Kilimanjaro or funding a trip to Borneo (for a 16 year old) to build a school or some such similar. Both these events need to raise £4,000 so they are on facebook, justgiving, etc trying to raise the money. My issue is that of the £4,000 needed how much will actually go to charity. This covers flights, accommodation, food, guides, etc - surely this is just something that they want to do as a personal thing and wrapping it up in Charity and getting others to pay for it?

I'd love to walk over Sydney Harbour Bridge but I wouldnt dream of masking it in Charity and hoping others will pay for it with perhaps 5-10% of the money raised actually going to the Charity?

I know I don't have to sponsor but I'd rather just give the donation directly to the Charity. AIBU?

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 03/02/2017 19:38

YADNBU. It's pretty shameful.

empirerecordsrocked · 03/02/2017 19:41

Totally agree. The ones that stand at the end of the checkout to help you pack (no thanks, I have a system!) to raise money to go to South America - at least they don't say it's for charity apart from funding the trip but no.

awaynboilyurheid · 03/02/2017 19:43

It's v annoying too, I gave to a lady with a pink T shirt (which I thought was a cancer charity) bag packing in Marks and Spencer only for her to tell me it was for her Choir who were touring Europe , all nice middle class ladies singing in some lovely places. To add insult to injury I meant to give them only a little but I was holding keys and when I had put money in the tin more pound coins fell in, she looked delighted and I raged all the way home.

FlopsyisaRabbit · 03/02/2017 19:51

My husband raises money for our local hospice. We pay for the trip (China / Nepal etc) and all money raised (always more than the minimum) goes to the charity.

For him personally, YABU.

7SunshineSeven7 · 03/02/2017 20:01

Flopsy The whole thing of this thread is that the money that has been raised it paying for travel etc.

However why don't people who pay for the travel themselves just put that money with the money raised and let the charity have even more?

hefzi · 03/02/2017 20:03

Mistle I'm so sorry about your sister - and I completely understand why it felt like the right thing to do. I think everyone on the thread can differentiate between someone on a jolly and a bereaved person thinking that this is the right way to honour their loved one. Flowers

FrancisCrawford · 03/02/2017 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaPharisienne · 03/02/2017 20:15

YANBU.

Only reasonable if the person pays for the trip and EVERY SINGLE PENNY donated goes to charity.

FlopsyisaRabbit · 03/02/2017 20:17

Seven, my DH has made lots of good friends both here and abroad, he enjoys the adventure in a safe environment and sees many places he probably wouldn't go unless he was in a big group.

I'm sure you aren't suggesting that people shouldn't have fun in their life and should just give all their money to charity Confused

splendide · 03/02/2017 20:23

I suppose it's just odd Flopsy - he enjoys it, it's a holiday. Why then just randomly ask people for money? Where's the link?

haveacupoftea · 03/02/2017 20:25

YANBU. Woman at work was begging for money for her husband to go to Malawi with the missions. Surely the church can pay for missions to Malawi? That is if the people of Malawi even want missionaries there. I cant even stand the people who hand you leaflets in the street about God.

7SunshineSeven7 · 03/02/2017 20:26

Flopsy No, I'm not saying that, but I am saying if you're going to raise money for charity you shouldn't spend money to go on a trip abroad as an excuse to raise the money. You might as well just give the money you're spending on expense and trips to the charity.

MidniteScribbler · 03/02/2017 20:36

I'm incredibly picky in what I donate to.

Our school does support an overseas school, and we send four teachers each year for a fortnight, but that is to actually train teachers, help develop curriculum, and provide professional development. People volunteer and have to submit a proposal of what PD you will provide, its never the same teachers each year (assistant principal goes every year, but pays for their flight and costs), and you must have been teaching for at least five years. Flight is paid for, but all other expenses is covered by the teacher. It's done in our school holidays, so you're giving up vacation time for it, not getting to do it in working time. A few times we've also paid for some of their teachers to come over here and work with us as well. We also do a big stationery/equipment drive which is supported by the parents, and one of the shipping companies (parent of a former pupil) actually ships it all for free. I'm quite happy to support this, as it actually is doing good, and it's providing training to the local teachers, rather than swanning in for a couple of weeks like a guardian angel and then disappearing. It's also an ongoing relationship - those of us who have been are buddied up with one of the teachers and we keep in contact, assisting with their lesson planning, sending them curriculum materials, etc.

I won't support 'I want to jump out of a plane' type charities.

I did support a young boy who needed to raise funds to go overseas for his sport. His parents told him if he wanted to go, he needed to earn the money himself, so he did it by offering to actually work. So he cleared out my garden beds, painted the fence, etc. All jobs I would have paid someone to do anyway, so was happy for him to do the work in exchange for earning money to pay for his trip.

Robstersgirl · 03/02/2017 21:29

I agree. Why pay 7k for a UK resident to fly out and build a home? Give the 7k to a local family to start a business building homes. It reeks of entitlement. You're not helping the poor, you're rubbing your own ego.

Sandsnake · 03/02/2017 21:30

Totally and utterly agree, in general. Will make an exception for people like our family friend who did a trek in the rainforest for Macmillan shortly after her lovely husband died of cancer. It was cathartic for her and we were all happy to sponsor her and help with fundraising events.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/02/2017 21:32

Yes yes yes ! I feel the same

Fucks sake pay for your own holiday to walk the walk of China and do something here if needs be

We all had to fund my boss the cycle the length of the country Angry

Shocking !

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/02/2017 21:35

And as for the people that go to Africa / just send them the money and support

Don't go there (business class ) and send photos of you hugging them all in African gowns - which look stupid on white people

god i am such a bitch

cantthinkofabloodyname · 04/02/2017 00:10

Mycatsapirate I think I may have been on that same trip as your daughter, if the colour purple was a big factor. As my DS was a wish child for it. All of the volunteers worked bloody hard on that trip and only had 1 leisure day for the whole trip. I can't thank them enough for making the trip possible for families like mine.

unlucky83 · 04/02/2017 00:14

Ah DD's school are doing a World Challenge one I think ...she said she wasn't interested and I didn't go to the presentation but apparently a lot of children came out all fired up, keen.
Her school is a state one, its catchment does cover some pretty affluent areas - but not all areas are affluent. Although I guess there are no really deprived areas.
It was about £4k and they were told part of the challenge was for them to raise the money themselves- by getting a job.... and fundraising ...but apparently they were also given the impression that it would be quite easy for them to get that amount of money together...
I told DD if she wanted to go she would have to get a job and save for it - and I would find the rest of the money - but no way did I want her fundraising to pay for what was basically a holiday for her.
I also questioned how successful fundraising could be for something like that - especially if a few DCs were trying to raise money for themselves in a small area (town/village) ...
And how much work (assuming she could get any - and at NMW for her age it was over a 1000 hrs work - or about 20hr per week for a year...) she should be doing in an exam year...(in Scotland so they have major exams at the end of every year for the last 3 yrs of school from 15 -18)
What concerned me too was they had to pay a sizeable deposit and within a week (or so) of the presentation...basically before they had chance to discover that it might not be quite so easy to raise enough money. Then the parents would either have to find 90% of the money or lose a few hundred pounds...
(A friend had a horrible fight with her DC about it - she couldn't afford that much money and couldn't take the gamble on her DC raising enough. The DC (typical older teen) was determined they could... but the parent refused to pay the deposit. DC said it proved they had no confidence in them etc Sad)

7SunshineSeven7 · 04/02/2017 00:22

unlucky We had the same issue in my highschool when people were going to Africa. A lot of the area was deprived and one section was affluent. This meant the few richer kids ended up going. The poorer kids (I am one of these and how I would describe up) who did pay the deposit didn't raise enough and the school told them to put it towards the kids who did raise enough's pool of money. Basically they did the hard work but the money went towards paying for the flights and accommodation of the other kids :( My mum said I couldn't go but to be honest I could see how unrealistic it was and didn't even feel the want to go because it was such an unrealistic goal.

Mistletoze · 04/02/2017 06:20

Thanks Hefzi

heron98 · 04/02/2017 06:31

A fit healthy colleague at work asked me to sponsor her to WALK 10K. I said no. I had walked that far that day just to work.

Alwaysinahurrynow · 04/02/2017 07:03

I'm with salty seabird. I fundraised once for a London Marathon place, but when I found out how much it cost them, I was horrified. Some charities take your credit card details when you accept a place as some people take the place and the charity never hears from them again, but some people do raise amazing amounts.

However, once I realised I enjoyed long-distance running, I didn't ask for money again.

Happinessisthis · 04/02/2017 07:08

Agreed. Those who do a sky dive and need to raise £500 yet £250 of that is taken to pay for the sky dive. I refuse to donate in those circumstances. Really irks me

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 04/02/2017 07:38

Empress I agree; its hard work to run a marathon and if you're doing it anyway and paying your own entry fee (if there is one) and all money goes to the charity, not buying the runner better equipment then its fine as no money that is going to the charity comes away at all.

I paid for my place but, hang on -using sponsorship money to buy better running gear??

I can see that would be the equivalent of using sponsorship money to finance travel & accommodation but put that way it sounds even more outrageous.