To be sad my kids don't have a the childhood i had

[Bambambini]

My kids have a great childhood in some respects But it's different from me and my husbands. i know things change through the generations - my childhood was different to my parents etc. But i remember such a free and adventurous (benign neglect) childhood. We were always out unsupervised. There were kids on tap to go play with, we roamed far and wide for hours (though would worry about my kids doing same).

Now we live on a small street with only kids in 3 of the houses. None of them talk or play together. I have to force them out or take them to parks or arrange friends over etc . They have after school activities but it's not too he same.

It's better in some ways now, of course - but i feel they are missing out on all the fun we had - is it just me?

Now I was brought up by a dm and df who didn't allow me to roam, or any of us to roam come to that. She was definitely not like her generation (siblings aged 58 to 43 I'm in the middle) as everyone else I knew had the freedom you describe and that she had experienced herself growing up. I didn't really feel resentful growing up tbh, we had playdates and plenty of trips out so very much like today's childhood so would imagine that now it's the norm the dc don't hanker after something they have no knowledge or experience of.

Dixie I agree about new build estates, my nephews live on one and they do play out with their friends, also we have to walk through one to get to the park in our area, and although the roads are busier than when I was growing up children do play outside.

We did look at some new builds when moving here but I really wanted a big garden and all the gardens were so tiny. It's like you can have reasonable garden on busy road or tiny garden on new build estate. When I was little we had medium sized garden plus three green areas on our road to play on, actually no, four - and it wasn't a big road. Two "triangles", and two rectangular bits next to houses.

I am glad my kids won't have the childhood I had. Yes, I could roam for miles (mainly because my parents weren't particularly worried about me), but schools were less accommodating of SN (I have ASD, but it was never picked up on), people didn't get involved if a family was 'having trouble' - I remember one girl in our village who everyone knew was being regularly beaten by her alcoholic father, but 'one just didn't get involved'. I was suicidal, attempted the first time at 12, but schools had no guidelines for how to handle that, so it was ignored. It was utter, utter shit and I think things are vastly improved now.

im an 80's child and grew up on an estate type area with loads of friends living in nearby flats. we would walk around for hours, climbing trees, making mud pies, local park was across the road.
summer holidays were fab, playing out all day.

now summer holidays seem to be a wash out? DC's spend majority of it indoors. I live on another estate but not built up like London. but the kids around here are rude, foul mouthed, destructive litter buggers who I would send away if they knocked my door asking dcs to come out!

also to add - what happened to proper climbing frames in parks?? they torn out an old style park and replaced it will poles and wide short slides? to get up to the top of slide you don't have steps theres chunky, gappy slippery poles. and giant rocks randomly placed

I ,too,had a lot of freedom to roam as a child growing up in the countryside.My daughter,now 22,was in danger of being snatched by a man in a car when she was 5-I saw it all happen from inside the house.But I realised it was an isolated incident and tried to give her as much freedom and chances for friendships as she wanted in our quiet village.

We played out, and had 'freedom' ie we weren't expected home during the day. I spent a large part of my 80s childhood fucking terrified of the rough boys from the next street - not unfounded, they literally tried to set me on fire on one memorable occasion, I got punched in the face on two other occasions. Nothing was done or said about it, the flip side of 'freedom' was everyone turning blind eyes to any hassle.

This is why we take our DCcamping twice a year. We pick a site with nice facilities and a park (but not a huge site) and ask to pitch within sight of the park.
The DC can then run off to play with whoever is there and we also take bikes so they spend a lot of time riding round.
We tend to spend the middle part of the day out at the coast/NT property. They still have 8.30-10.00 ish and then 5.00-8.30/9.00 to run wild.

It is very tiring for us though! But gives them a taste of the freedom I enjoyed a child.

I have this conversation with my husband quite often. He grew up in a town on the outskirts of London and remembers spending loads of time outside in the woods / riding etc.

I grew up in the centre of Brighton and first saw a badger in my twenties (it was dead).

We live in central London and my husband is sad that our children won't have his childhood. However, I think that his childhood is either a romanticised version (I know that his mum had to drive them everywhere) or doesn't exist any more (I certainly wouldn't let our children ride their bikes where his parents live now as the roads are so busy).

I think that its just a sign of the times, I moved to a quiet cul de sac last year, I grew up on a cul de sac and we just went out when we fancied, sat on a corner and waited to see if neighbours children came out to play.

I will never let my DD out into the road without me being around, part of this is that I know that a paedophile lives in the close, convicted 4 times, now released from another prison sentence living 4 doors down.

Now it could be that we also had a paedophile living in our quiet close growing up but we didn't know, the media wasn't the same.

The other part is other children wouldn't be out there to play with, so its arranged play dates, park and meet ups. I don't see that this isn't a good quality childhood just because she isn't playing out on the street on her own.

I agree with Kate

I feel a lot of the risks my parents took were really dangerous and plus, I think there are huge social risks as well.

GardenCentre me too! I used to skulk about the streets if the rough kids were out!

I was lucky to have that kind of freedom growing up, which I look back upon with fond memories. As long as I said where I was going, and who with, it was cool, and if I was staying over somewhere I would phone home to say. It later transpired that most of our activities didn't go unnoticed, and that there was a network of surveillance operating in and around the village I lived (call it curtain twitching if you will), so everyone was looking out for each other in a way. Also, everyone knew each other, and also knew who to be wary of! Even if we were playing in farmers fields, they would most likely be aware of our presence. Youngsters have a sense of adventure, and will find it weather it's in a village, town, or estate. It might not resemble what we experienced but to them it will be exciting. The main thing I remember from those days was "Never leave your friends", a bit like the advice given to contemporary females out for the night. There was a period of curfew imposed for a couple of months while a serial rapist known as "the fox" was about, and kids were even escorted to the local school, but things went back to normal once he was apprehended. Life in a village!

I grew up in a city. Yes, i wish my DC had the same degree of freedom i did. Back then, even the most batshit overprotective parents didn't think about NOT letting kids play outside, even after dark in winter.
And before we had no mobiles, parents didn't think we were kidnapped or murdered if we were late to come home from friends.

Now i'm afraid to tell people that my DC are at home watching tv while i'm shopping because apparently these days even our own houses are mortal danger to children, or that... they will get scared