to expect school to know kids will have bruises!

[Wonderingwoe]

My daughter started school this year and she is very physical, quite rough really in comparison to other girls and often plays with boys as is drawn to their games.
I've noticed she has many bruises on her legs as usual but also quite a few down her forearms too, some quite large so indicate knocks but others small and about the size of a child's finger.
Currently she has 4 in a row on one arm and 3 on the other.
All different sizes and different colours but my mum suggested me letting the school know and asking them to keep a watch in case games are getting out of hand.
She said some teachers would worry about so many bruises on arms and questioned her about my brother breaking an arm at home when he was 7!
I'm worried it looks odd mentioning something that I'm actually not worried about!
She's always been the same and preschool never were concerned but she does have more at the minute I guess than usual, would you mention to the teacher or wait for them to mention to me, if they do at all?

There is a lot of training that goes on (rightly so). I also don't think mentioning it makes any difference. If a teacher/staff has a concern they will talk to the child protection officer, they will decide whether to call SS who will advise how to follow up.

Mentioning it or not mentioning it should make no difference. Otherwise your in a scenario where an abuser can talk their way around it. The procedures are there to prevent that kind of thing.

some policies are to go straight to social services with any concerns

I'm a designated safeguarding lead in a primary school and I can't imagine a school contacting social services for any concern about a child's welfare.

We are trained to know when to contact them, either for advice or to make a referral. We would normally talk to the parent first, and if we don't, we need to explain on the referral form why we have chosen not to.

I would advise against using the fact you hope to adopt as a reason not to share any concerns with the school though.

I think there are other things to worry about besides bruises. Teachers can see if the kid runs-climbs-fals but is happy about that, or just covered in bruises while being very quiet, easily frightened, etc.

My DD bruises extremely easy and is always covered in them - she is late teens. She is anaemic though and takes iron tablets. She also has hypermobility. I would take your DD to the GP for blood tests to check for anaemia etc.

My DD(8) is pretty much 1 big bruise at the moment because she plays rough and is really clumsy. She even has a spectacular black eye where she fell into a bench at school. School know what she's like and aren't worried about it, mostly because 90% of her bruises happen at school.

Similarly, I work with reception and KS1 and I could tell you which children always have bruised knees etc through play and which ones I'd worry about, I can also see the difference between the kind of bruise you'd get in the playground/during a sport and the type I'd need to be worried about. 5 year olds do tend to wear bruises as medals, so after most breaks I get to admire the new bruises and grazes and hear where they're from.

I would ask the teacher about the ones on her arm though, because that sounds like child finger prints, which hopefully are just from playing rough but worth keeping an eye on.

I would have thought the school have picked up on her personality ( big! ) and having no fear already especially as she went to the pre school attached last year so nothing has changed; this is just her!
The legs I wouldn't think of mentioning, but the arms could be from falls to equally being from children's hands and I did wonder how they would determine if that was happening at home or at school ( if they we concerned at at all ) as she has 2 older siblings too; although they are very laid back and placid in temperament so never play in the way she wants so I know their not from them! Quite a big age gap too so we don't get the arguments and rough and tumble type stuff with them either which is probably partly why she enjoys it so much at school!
I actually didn't think a kid could be strong enough to leave a mark useless a pinch maybe but I also thought this wudnt be in a strayt line but more of a wrap around type but maybe I'm thinking of how it would seem on an adult not a child
I've never seen any on tops of arms / legs always Lower which is why I thought it was just banging about!

And no of course if they had a concern they would be right to deal with it however their policy tells them too regardless of what I said. I wonder if they have to inform you even if the safeguarding person decided not to refer on though!

I wonder if they have to inform you even if the safeguarding person decided not to refer on though!

If I understand what you're saying here, if it were me and I was worried about bruising I would speak to the parent first whether our safeguarding team chose to refer to social services or not.

Yes I just meant if they were concerned but the safeguarding person ( not sure who ours is ) decided not to refer I wonder if they still have a duty to speak to the parents and let them know there was an initiall concern or if they just wouldn't mention it at all. That makes me worry that I shud have mentioned sooner now! I just am not worried as she is so physical so they don't alarm me but I didn't think about what a teacher or swimming teacher as the other lady sed might think!

Look on your school website and it should tell you who your Designated Safeguarding Leads are. The main DSL is usually the head, one of the deputy DSLs is usually the deputy head, the third one is another member of staff such as a Senco.

Please don't over-think this. Many children bruise easily and are physically active. If the school has a concern about bruising I'm sure they'll talk to you about it.

Thanks, I'm going to have a chat about it at parents Eve as if she's getting this many from playing roughly it's also possible the other kids are and their parents might not be ok with this
I've noticed she hasn't been invited to a few parties so far both girls and boys and I'm worried now she's been injuring children 😢

I've had experience with this.

My daughter isalways bruised. I wasn't worried about it at all as she was very active and I bruise easily.

The school did start asking questions though, and one day my daughter told me the head teacher took her aside to examine a particularly bad bruise, we were mortified.

We went to the doctor, just to cover our backs really to be show we were not trying to hide anything.

It turned out she has a bleeding disorder which causes her to have an extremely low platelet count, called ITP, which causes hers.

That's pretty rare so not likely to be the cause in your case, but what I learnt from that is that you should not be embarrassed to talk to the teachers about bruising your child has, and how they got them. Be really open and upfront about it, to help them with their safe guarding.

They are looking for bruising in unusual places. Fronts of legs and bony places are typical. My daughter very often had a bruise on her temple though, and her bruises go a very deep purple colour, in hid sight they do look different from 'normal' bruising, so no wonder the teachers were concerned.

I work with kids and the training we get is on out of the ordinary bruises. A very active child etc wouldnt automatically be a concern (otherwise I'd be filling forms in every day for all the lads who do rugby) and if it were to become one theres steps way before reporting parents.
I woudlnt worry.

Yes I am taking her to the doctors after school this week just to check it out but I don't think she bruises easily, the Knocks she takes would leave a bruise!
That sounds awful tho the head calling her aside and I'm surprised they would do that without a parent there but I think by having a talk to the teacher and getting her checked over I'm doing all I can - besides her having a personality transplant'

The legs I would dismiss always, arms I suppose are hard to tell if from playing and falling or classmates pulling or pinching too hard