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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So so mad

37 replies

WoopWoop200 · 02/02/2017 09:11

I have been mad for days....but DH has been having trouble with his business so I didn't think it would be the right time to rip him a new one!!!!!!

He runs his own business. 1st time he fucked up, his grandad bailed him out. 2nd time he fucked up, our personal savings bailed him out. Now the 3rd time hes fucking up....has affected us.

I am pregnant with our 2nd child. Applying for mortgages. Working and studying. We said we'd tighten our belts to give me the chance to advance my career seeing as we had spent yrs setting his up. Then this fucking happens. We're already minus £7000 towards a new house because of his last fuck up. He said it would be paid back in within 3 months....1 yr later and still nothing. But he buys a brand spanking new vehicle behind my back!! But "Don't worry, the company pays for it" then why the fuck doesnt the company pay back the fucking loan it took off us so we can get a fucking house!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, this is more of a rant

But would I be unreasonable to demand the money owed back?? He's looking at loans to help put things back in track so could it come from there

OP posts:

SomethingBorrowed · 02/02/2017 11:11

Don't buy a house with him OP...
Maybe invest in a property by yourself and rent it out. But I wouldn't invest with him!
What will happen if he can't pay the mortgage?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/02/2017 11:12

YABU - this is EXACTLY the right time to be ripping him a new one! What the fuck is he playing at??

Get your mad on properly and tell him exactly what he stands to lose, not just his business but his wife and family, because he can't prioritise properly.
NOT because he's having business difficulties, that can happen to anyone at any time - but because he's prioritised a shiny new toy (car) over sorting the fucking debts out!
Wanker.

Go for it - rip him a BIG new one.

laureywilliams · 02/02/2017 11:13

Agree this is exactly the right time to rip him a new one.

What next? Is he going to have another crack? What has changed?

MalletsMallets · 02/02/2017 11:26

He knows that in order for the company paying for the car the company needs to earn that money?!

My DH is self employed, I have a friend that continually goes "he can just put that on the business", "thats ok, it just goes on the business".

No he fucking can't, because in order to put a car / phone / your bloody bill on the business he needs to earn that money first, pay tax, pay wages, pay rent, pay himself a wage (so we can you know, eat), then maybe then theres something he can put on the business .

Im projecting slightly, but the business needs to earn that money to pay it. It can't pay it if it isn't earning it.

He shouldn't be running his business if its failing and putting you in the shit he needs to pull his head out his bum and either wrap up the business to become employed or get a part time job.

SomethingBorrowed · 02/02/2017 11:29

Yes Mallets people talk about being able to pay using a business as if it was free money. When I point it out they mumble something vague about yes but it will be tax free... so yes income tax free BUT not free!

MalletsMallets · 02/02/2017 11:44

you can just claim the VAT back for that

Ah yes because the VAT man won't be suspicious at all about the contents of a house being claimed back

SlankyBodger · 02/02/2017 11:47

What Gallivanting said, otherwise he'll be doing this for the rest of your life.

Twopeapods · 02/02/2017 11:49

I would be really worried about any hidden debts he's racked up OP.
And buying a car behind your back is unforgivable. If he doesn't have the money to pay you back your savings then he doesn't have the money to pay towards a fucking car.
I'm self employed and it's hard. I've learned lessons along the way. I've taken the business loan. I've regretted it. And now my hard work and hard learned lessons are starting to pay off four years later.
What has he messed up on? He absolutely should not take a loan until his business is successful, and if that's not looking likely then he should look for a salaried job and look after his pregnant partner.

carrotcakecupcake · 02/02/2017 11:55

Just coming here to second what Mallets has been advising. Do you have a proper accountant who can give advice? DH gets so many clients wandering in who have bought things that they assumed they could just "write off" against the business, without actually understanding what this means - and what can be claimed. You can't just buy any old thing if it isn't actually necessary for a business (Most recently DH has had to explain to a client that they couldn't include their vet bills as the business didn't have anything to do with animals ).

Ohyesiam · 02/02/2017 12:22

Please don't buy a house with this man op.
The car needs to go back, and he needs to get a job, business is obviously not his thing.
I can't imagine how stressfull this must be with you pregnant.
Best of luck

TheNoodlesIncident · 02/02/2017 13:06

Massive alarm bells ringing at "he's looking at loans to help put it back on track". The money to put it back on track was the amount he put towards a new car! The business is in horrible debt already without adding further loans...

I would be calling a halt on this whole sorry mess before you get in even deeper.

Littlemissneela, no-one would have said you'd fucked up in the circumstances you describe, this is different.

I bet grandad isn't going to see his money back either.

fergie2crisps · 02/02/2017 14:53

My ex went bankrupt. Luckily I divorced him and got my share before the rest disappeared but if I hadn't I was advised I would have lost everything. We have 3 kids. Get out while you can IMO.

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