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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Blowing things out of proportion! Why do I do it?

39 replies

rattlesnake · 01/02/2017 23:24

Does anyone else do this? I take an ordinary situation and turn it into a disaster....often. It can be anything as trivial as DS going swimming with his friends and other parents, or going on holiday. I will think about the situation and create a disaster in my mind. At the moment it a boat disaster! We are going away soon on an overnight ferry and then drive to Brittany. I should be looking forward to it but so far I have fallen overboard, so has DS, been shot by terrorists, broken down on a lonely road...I can shake myself out of it, never get to the point where I don't go...I can see how irrational I'm being...but it stops me looking forward to things, or relaxing. How can I kick this stupid habit :(

OP posts:

cushiemoy · 02/02/2017 15:48

That is exactly what I do too allchattedout.

Have my appraisal next week and already had one panic attack about how awful it will be. No actual reason to think that will be the case.

allchattedout · 02/02/2017 17:01

General and cushie, thank you, it is good to know I am not alone in thinking like this! I am going to sit down and do some research on hypnotherapy this evening (I presume that different hypnotherapists specialise in different things). It would be such a relief if I could stop feeling like this.

MinnieMinchkin · 02/02/2017 17:08

I can't find the exact one, but this looks like a similar format: www.getselfhelp.co.uk/step1.htm (on phone so apologies if the link doesn't work).

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 02/02/2017 17:11

OP, I do exactly the same thing. It's crazy as if I force myself to do the thing I'm afraid of, I really enjoy myself. The reality is never as bad as the fear. My problem is that no-one can guarantee that. A friend of mine's DH recently bought her a surprise short break and I felt envious of the fact that I just wouldn't ever be able to go away like that. I mean, there were two of them on a plane, kids at home... Miniscule chance of anything happening but in my mind, the plane would crash and my kids would become orphans.

Allchattedout, that is exactly me too! I imagine arguments I have with friends and get really upset about it! Then have to tell myself this stuff hasn't actually happened.

I looked into hypnotherapy before for another phobia, but seemed quite expensive. I had CBT for this other phobia, not sure if it's helped yet. Reading this thread itself has been good, knowing other people feel the same. Thanks for starting it OP...

pishedoff · 02/02/2017 17:23

It would be amazing wouldn't it allchatted

It takes over my life, I honestly believe life would be cracking if I could get rid of it!!!

hefzi · 02/02/2017 17:51

I've never got any joy from hypnotherapy, but CBT (with a psychologist, not in the form of a brief intervention from IAPT) and it sorted me out completely: I'd been a severe catastrophiser from early childhood, and it quite literally changed my life.

MinnieMinchkin · 02/02/2017 23:08

For clarity, for serious anxiety issues I strongly recommend going to the GP. An online, self-paced CBT course is like basic, self-administered first-aid (a cold compress or sticking plaster). For more severe cases, go to a professional.

allchattedout · 02/02/2017 23:18

OK, in my research on hypnosis thanks to PPs on this thread, I found this directory:
www.bsch.org.uk/

The ones I found in my area also offer CBT and other forms of therapy and take an integrated approach. I am sure there is a danger of untrained hypnotherapists offering services, but I am hoping that picking someone who is part of a recognised body will mean that the treatment is more effective.

Obviously I haven't had any treatment yet, so cannot comment, but fingers crossed that this will be something that works for me. I have emailed the therapist to see if I can book an appointment and the cost seems to be similar to what the pp posted- £70 for 1.5 hours initially and then £65 per hour thereafter for each session (£55 if 4 or more sessions are needed). Will have to see it as an investment in myself....

Hopefully the register will be of assistance for the OP and anyone else thinking of hypnotherapy.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 02/02/2017 23:21

Hypnotherapist told my sister she had severe OCD because my parents (who were bleeding paying him for the session!) didn't love her enough as a child. I have no faith in them what soever

allchattedout · 02/02/2017 23:31

Hypnotherapist told my sister she had severe OCD because my parents (who were bleeding paying him for the session!) didn't love her enough as a child. I have no faith in them what soeve

But that's one therapist. That doesn't say anything about the therapy as a whole. It has been effective for many things. A psychotherapist could have said the same thing, as could any professional.

Also, obviously I don't know the family background, but just because they were paying for the session does not mean that the therapist owes them any duties. My own sister has OCD due to a traumatic childhood. She also has nervous ticks and depression. I have anxiety and low-level depression, occasionally more serious episodes. My other siblings also have MH issues. My sister has also been told by therapists that her issues stem from how she was treated by our parents (basically by our dad, but mum failed to protect). In her case, it IS true and it is helpful for my sister to hear that in order to make sense of her feelings. She is an adult and is paying for her own treatment, but issues like OCD do often have some form of root cause (although not always).

BlondeBecky1983 · 02/02/2017 23:53

I am a fellow catastophizer! I know I am being ridiculous but I can't help it! I mainly do it regarding my loved ones when they are in situations that I can't control.

ifcatscouldtalk · 03/02/2017 00:12

I used to think in this way all the time and was particularly bad after my daughter was born. I think I will always have a tendency towards that way of thinking but it doesn't take over my daily life anymore. I did seek help from doctor and referred for cbt. I didn't persue medication even though it was offered. I tried it but felt worse on it (obviously everyones different). For me the cbt was a great help. Nowadays it's not a daily battle. I have my moments. My daughter has started to gain more freedom ( aged 12) and some days I have literally sat on my hands not to call her when she's out with friends. I'm getting used to it gradually and give myself a talking to. Also I find with certain situations the anticipation anxiety is a hundred times worse than getting on with whatever it is. I can guarantee before boarding an areoplane/ tube train etc the disasters will be playing out in my head. Once I'm on the journey I'll think oh well, fuck it if I'm going to die I'll die. I remember being all worried about shopping at Westfield's after reading an article about terror targets, I really wanted to go though, got there an after weeks of putting it off and it was almost like, well as I'm here, I've done it and I'm staying for hours and im making a day of it. Anxiety is so draining though. I hope you feel better soon and some of the suggestions re hypnotherapy and cbt may help. Worth a try as different things work for different people.

ifcatscouldtalk · 03/02/2017 00:15

Oh and if your anxiety is really bad I'd avoid the news for a while. All the best x

JennyGoldman · 14/02/2017 18:00

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