Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

8yr old too young for shaving

45 replies

Pagen · 01/02/2017 17:46

I'm posting this on behalf of a friend. Her 8yr old daughter, like her mum, is dark-haired and has started complaining and becoming very body concious of the dark hair on her legs. Her mum has talked it through with her but the other day found a rim of hairs in the bath. She spoke to her daughter who admitted that she had used her mums razor and shaved her own legs.
Obviously my friend is concerned and upset that her daughter not only has used her razor which is kept up on a high shelf and the children know it's not to be touched, but that she has felt she had to do this at all.
She asked for my advice but I'm totally stumped, obviously she's too young to be shaving but this is a very real problem for this little girl and it can't just be ignored.
I've seen other threads on here about this but not with a child this young. I suggested we post this and ask for advice as to what other mums would do in my friends position.

OP posts:

VestalVirgin · 01/02/2017 18:41

I find it rather hypocritical for the mother to shave herself, and think her daughter is too young to do it. (Other than worries because of cutting herself with the razor, that is)

In a way, she is right to keep her daughter away from this, but it won't work as long as she does it herself. Can't teach a girl to love her hair when you don't love yours, can you?

It is like being half aware that one is doing it because of social pressure, but being unable to admit it.

Given how bitchy girls can be to each other when they're growing up I'd say let her (though creams or epilator might be better) so she doesn't get any crap at school.

Yes, but it should be clearly communicated that this is the reason why. Honesty is important.
There is peer pressure, and the child should be aware of this.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 01/02/2017 18:44

No way would I use cream on delicate young skin!

Get her a lady shave razor so she is safe.

Yes, in an ideal world you could boost her confidence and she would think she doesn't need to but that horse has bolted already so it's a case of finding her a safe way to manage it.

physicsisfun · 01/02/2017 18:53

Like melonribena my mum gave me some sort of fine sandpaper stuff which worked well on my first leg hair. Haven't googled if it's still around but might that be a safe, razor and chemical free starting point for such a young child?

123yourusername · 01/02/2017 18:57

I don't see the problem with shaving.. my mum even gave me a razor at about that age and told me to shave my armpits before I even realised they were hairy.. then it was the norm. Please don't let a child go self conscious and get bullied for being hairy.

And I'd feel better giving a razor than hair removal cream, unless it's the extra sensitive stuff.

physicsisfun · 01/02/2017 18:57

Google has helped. It was called Silkymit. But boots and Superdrug seem to sell similar now. Marketed as for keeping legs smooth between waxes but for first soft leg hair might still do the job? (Although I am not dark or very hairy so perhaps naive).

Pettywoman · 01/02/2017 19:00

I'd get her a safe, electric razor or something easy. My mum never helped me with shaving and I used to use hair cutting scissors under my arms and cut myself to bits. It was awful doing ballet and having to lift my arms up.

Some kids are hairy. Nothing wrong with that. Its best to deal with it before it becomes a big thing for her.

BastardBloodAndSand · 01/02/2017 19:39

Meh, get the kid a ladyshave. I don't see this as an issue at all.

I'm always surprised when people suggest hair removal cream for kids tho, a potent cream that melts hair away on a childs skin ?? Really ??!

thisismyfirsttime · 01/02/2017 20:28

I think your friend should help her dd remove the hair if the dd wants it gone. She'll find a way to do it anyway and I still have 2 noticeable(ish) scars on my legs from using an old Gilette razor my dad had discarded and because I didn't know how to do it properly or have the right foam I used soap and the blade went really really blunt and a bit manky and I tore big strips of skin off by pressing too hard. I think if the dd really dislikes it her mum should help her, get her the right razor and blades, show her how to put enough foam but not too much on, how to not nick knees and know when to change the blade. Or get her a sensitive hair removal cream and help her patch test it and apply it the first few times. One of my friends is very olive skinned with very dark hair and her mum took her for professional waxing from a fairly young age and she says she rarely waxes her legs now because the hair is much finer so only needs hair removing every few weeks, which is far less than the rest of the hair she now removes. Not sure I'd go for that with my own dd but she would.

CripsSandwiches · 01/02/2017 20:39

I think it's sad that she's already body conscious, but preventing her from removing the hair won't stop her feeling self conscious about it. I'd let her remove it with cream - hopefully she'll get bored of it.

Freshprincess · 01/02/2017 20:50

My mum wouldn't let me do mine either because she didn't till she was 16. Shes very fair, I'm very dark. I was teased relentlessly.

I stole my dads razor and cut myself to ribbons.

Ironically, I'm less bothered now. I haven't shaved my legs since Christmas.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 01/02/2017 20:50

Why would you let an 8 year old anywhere near chemical laden cream that has the potential to burn her?

Pinotwoman82 · 01/02/2017 21:00

I was a bit older but I remember being teased and teased about it in pe relentlessly, finally my mum in the end brought me a ladyshave and we went through it together. I have absolutely no idea why mum's think their poor DD should have to suffer potential bullying just because they feel they are to young, I still remember the cruel things they said to me after 20 odd years.
Seriously would your friend put on a dress and not shave her legs?? It's ridiculous!

allchattedout · 01/02/2017 21:04

I think hair removing cream can be a bit harsh if she has sensitive skin. I wouldn't use it long-term on the legs. I would suggest the mum shaves the daughter's legs for her and in time, she can start to use a gillette venus style razor that largely protect against cuts (unlike those cheap disposable ones). Or the daughter can use an electric razor (although the result is not as close as a blade). Waxing might also be an option- it hurts a little, but in time the hairs grow back finer. Again, the mum will probably have to do it for the daughter.

It would be cruel not to allow her daughter to do this. It must be hard to go through puberty at an early age. If the mum is not prepared to walk round with thick black hair on her own body, why is it okay for her daughter to do so?

allchattedout · 01/02/2017 21:07

Like melonribena my mum gave me some sort of fine sandpaper stuff which worked well on my first leg hair. Haven't googled if it's still around but might that be a safe, razor and chemical free starting point for such a young child?

Ah, yes I used to use one of these. Like a sandpaper mitten that you rubbed on your legs and the hair came off. I am fair though, so I don't know how well it works on dark and thick hair, but certainly worth investigating. Poor little girl.

Fluffyears · 01/02/2017 21:14

Be careful with the sandpaper stuff, I ended up with really bad scratches.

Totallyblurred · 01/02/2017 21:23

I was around this age when I started shaving, I've got thick dark hair. At first my mum shaved my legs for me with a razor and then she brought me an electric shaver. It was horrible being that age with dark hairy legs all the other girls wearing pretty dresses and I didnt want to because of my legs.
My dd who is six is fair so I don't think it will be a problem, but Ds who is 4 has hairy, forehead, neck and back and the barbers always shave his forehead and neck.
My arms are very hairy now and it's a pain in the arse.

Allthewaves · 01/02/2017 21:29

Sad that at 8 she's so conscious of the hair BUT it's ob bothering her so I'd be finding safe way to remove it. I had my eyebrows done at 10 and lip bleached - I'm white with black hair so I imagine girls with lovely black thick hair would need to start earlier

NerrSnerr · 01/02/2017 21:30

I'm another one whose mum didn't let me shave because I was too young. I also have the scars on my legs from hacking at them with blunt razors.

SprogletsMum · 01/02/2017 21:34

My daughter's are only 5 and 2 so I've not encountered this yet, but as soon as their leg hair/eyebrows/armpit hair etc bothers them I will help them to remove it.
It's their body and their choice.

WeddingsAreStressful · 01/02/2017 21:40

I started getting my legs waxed when I was 12 (pale skin, dark hair, lots of it). It was great because I only had to do it every 2 months or so. My mum took me to her beautician because I had also attempted hair removal on my own - tried to use razors on the skin directly without shaving cream, then moved on to some old hair removal cream she had in the cupboard.
Kids are really cruel when it comes to these things, there's really no good reason not to help the girl with this.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread