If you're poor and you have boys, read this.

[user1477282676]

www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/11/obesity-soar-boys-girls-poorer-homes-deprived-backgrounds-overweight-2020

I am sorry if that sounds offensive. But I am so, so angry about the state of things right now in terms of inequality in the UK (and the world!) and I have started another thread along the same lines...but this one is slightly different.

According to this article in the Guardian, obesity among boys from the most financially strapped families is going to be rising whilst obesity in wealthy children will fall.

How is this even a thing? We know what schools do in their attempts to "educate". They weigh, they police lunch boxes...but that doesn't fix anything it would seem!

I am so cross that children...and it would seem boys especially, are going to be suffering.

I'm from an Irish catholic family.
Traditionally Men/boys get fed first...Women/girls get what's left

Girls will smoke to keep their weight down too, equally unhealthy

I think Drudge that teen girls in particular are more bothered about staying thin.

Huge generalisation obviously but many of the girls at dc school eat no lunch where as the boys seem to.

I'm from an Irish catholic family.
Traditionally Men/boys get fed first...Women/girls get what's left

Me too, and in my family that NEVER happened!! But then my parents were fair and decent. The girls were cherished as were the boys.

We're not poor and my kids eat pretty well. I've noticed that they eat better - more veg, decent protein, less mindless snacking - if they're hungry after vigorous sports training, and that takes money as well, of course. Things like sqad training, athletics, martial arts, dancing etc need money and a family where a parent can facilitate those things. The only one of my DC who has been close to being overweight previously is now toned and fit doing 3 hard swim sqad sessions of 90 minutes a week plus swimming at school (Australia). However, she's now 9 and she's had lessons since she was a baby, all of which also cost money and took time.

*that's 90 minutes/session of swimming, 3X a week.

I don't believe this. We were poor growing up and my mum never let us eat from outside the house. I was 13 when I had my first McDonald's.

Its a cultural thing. There's no such thing as processed meats or processed anything in Indian cuisine. British food had a lot of processed stuff in it now.

I didn't say it happened in my family
But it certainly did in my aunts house
(Can still see my uncles face when I sat down with him and dad for dinner 😀)

Irish Catholic here too Badders and I have never seen this happen with my family or any other family I know!

You see Green for me (very established mc 2nd generation) it isn't hard. I was bought up on lentils, houmous and salads. It doesn't occur to me to eat junk food, I certainly don't see it as a "treat". We live less than 5 minutes from a gorgeous park (with a cafe that sells houmous, halloumi etc). I have a beautiful efficient kitchen and can afford to buy healthy food on special offer. It is immeasurably easier for me, it shows a phemonal lack of imagination to suggest otherwise.

DrugeJed you asked if it's the girls watching their weight or the parents allowing their boys to eat more and I think you're touching on a really difficult truth there.

Are boys more spoiled? Are boys fed more just because they ask? I know it's true that teenage boys have enormous appetites...that's natural....but could people be allowing them more free reign because they're boys and the idea is that boys need to eat more?

Poverty is miserable. Treats and sweets cheer you up. Its as simple as that IMO (well maybe not simple... but that's what it comes down to).

The question is why are boys suffering more? honestly their role, I feel, is getting narrower and narrower. There are very few traditional outlets for excess testosterone these days (we don't need loads of manual labour, fighting is discouraged - for example) and where, culturally (I feel) wealthier people have more opportunities to explore the world and themselves, the poorest boys with the narrowest horizons are pushed further into a corner. They aren't 'supposed' to like girly things but 'macho' stuff is so often frowned on now. SO their misery levels are very high and their biscuit (/insert other vice) consumption is high too.

It's very, very sad and I'm not sure what the answer is. Other than to believe, quite passionately, in equal opportunities and do everything you can to share your beliefs.

Im willing to bet boys dont get bought Fitbits for Christmas. I saw a woman post on a thread on fb that this is what two of her daughters 12 year old friends got. i was appalled.

I agree with user above. Sexism IS at play here. Which is also why i got different attitudes from men when i was bigger and more respect when i was slimmer.

helena that's terrible! Well if it's true, then it's a shame. These boys won't stand a chance. Their lives will be shortened, their chances of a good job will shrink even further away and their confidence and quality of life will be poor.

:(

I think there are many factors to take into account and I have experienced both sides . Firstly though I think there is a difference between literally having a few quid left and having to buy whatever is cheapest there and then and people on a low income who eat junk and say "it's cheaper " the frustration with the latter is that it's probably not cheaper but it's just easier and people aren't educated on what's actually healthy or how to shop wisely .

Again , I am not including in this people who are literally skint but those who are not well off , limited disposable income but smoke / drive / sky tv / fast internet / X box etc etc but can't afford to eat healthily apparently .

I think in poorer areas people aren't always as educated in nutrition or as bothered anyway . I say that as someone who grew up just outside a town renowned for being poor and quite rough . although we lived in a nicer area on the outskirts we were by no means well off. Mum cooked a lot but basic sort of stuff . Same as her mum before her etc . There are certain foods I eat now that I hadn't even heard of In my early twenties , and I'm
Not talking anything to exotic here

So when I first moved and didn't have much money I had no clue at all how to try eat healthily on a low budget I ate basically frozen stuff and ready meals I saw healthy stuff as a waste of money . So I can completely see how the mindset works . I also didn't drive and the only shops were frozen food shops or a small supermarket I think this is a massive factor !

As I am now I can afford to spend more on food but I don't because we can eat well on a budget ( Aldi !) Iv lost weight in recent years so avoid buying non essential junk ( obviously have treats sometimes ) and I'd rather the money I save go elsewhere , I honestly spend less now than I did when I was buying ready meals etc

user i think its bloody terrible that 12 year old girls are getting bought Fitbits.

Im sorry but it is girls and women who suffer at the hands of sexism.

Should i have pitied the men who used to bully me in the street when i was bigger because the poor lambs were brought up to believe that its only women who should make an effort

Helena that's what I meant! That it's terrible 12 year old girls are bought fitbits.

However the boys currently at risk of being obese aren't the ones who said things to you in the street. I can't abide sexism either. Or verbal abuse in the guise of "fun"

Ah sorry i misunderstood.

The men who used to make comments to me though have absorbed the message in society that women must always look good for them yet they dont have to make anywhere near the same effort.
So no of course they arent the ones who yelled at me in the street but it is the same cycle repeating itself and likely even worse now with the ingrained celebrity culture and the internet.

There are a lot of people (me included) that can't cook and simply hate it, find it unrewarding and stressful and struggle to find the time or motivation to do it. I think this has a lot to do with it.

People who are well off can afford high quality convenience food from Cook, Waitrose and M&S (looking at my DM) so their health doesn't suffer as a result.

Irish Catholic here too, and never saw the boys first thing.

I know from my own personal observations however that my DS was capable of eating about half of what I cooked when he was a teenager. My solution was to cook more, not serve the DDs less. When he left for university I couldn't understand why I had so much food left over every day, for a few days anyway.

I think a lot of the time boys are stuffing themselves with junk because they are actually very hungry and there isn't anything in the fridge (or a fridge at all) at home.

With the stress of poverty often comes depression, and there is no amount of mandatory cooking classes or weigh ins at school that will address that. Children and adults alike can be affected.

I know Irish Catholic families were the menfolk were served first. And still are.

JC23 - that's just silly. I don't think we live in a country where half the people eat takeaways and the other half are fine dining on Waitrose and M&S ready meals. You might have noticed a few supermarkets that sell a range of products in between and one or two families who might patronise them...

I agree with clumsyduck in that "deprived" covers a range of people. Obviously those in b&b accommodation etc have little chance to cook properly, but there is a swathe of people who have sufficient income, but just do not prioritise good food/mealtimes. We all know that cooking from scratch is cheaper than takeaways, but lots of families do not eat together. They just graze and eat whenever. The Oxo family round the table is difficult to manage whatever your income but trying to encourage teenagers to sit up at the table, eat a healthy meal with a knife and fork and engage in conversation when they have never done this before is a huge ask.

Other thoughts are the "snacking" culture and how this is acceptable. When I was small (70s) you didn't snack. There was nothing to snack on! Crisps between meals?! No way. And in the fridge was nothing you could eat without actually cooking it. And I still ask where do these kids get the money from now? My dcs have never gone to school with money, let alone enough to finance a stop at a fried chicken shop. I run a fairly tight ship and I'd be flippin' incandescent if I found dcs were spending money on McDs etc on way home. I posted earlier about the Costa boy and his lattes. The money and calories!

Apart from the obvious truth that girls are surrounded by images telling them that it is their job to stay thin and beautiful, I think there is also a tendency in boys (again, encouraged by society) to want to be invulnerable. Looking after your health is wimpish.

Or perhaps all teens have that attitude, it's a kind of fear of growing old and vulnerable, but in girls it is counteracted by the societal pressure to look right.

What I found with ds' friends was not only that they didn't get home-cooked food at home: they refused it when offered it at our house and kept suggesting to ds that he was hard done by because he didn't get to eat McFeasts and KFC buckets every day of the week. It's as if we locked him up and didn't let him go out and play or something: he was a mummy's boy because he got to eat vegetables. Very similar peer pressure to trying your first fag or having a sneaky drink.

Now that ds is older and has started at the gym/is thinking of careers where fitness may be relevant, he sees through it, but it was very potent at the time.

that's a good point, Cory. Healthy food - or even dinner on a plate - is somehow seen as "amusing" and the sort of thing you have to suffer by many kids. There's a huge gulf between the carrot sticks brigade and the "Oh, just dial Dominos" one. (I like healthy food but I always felt depressed at the birthday "spread" of one of dd's friends... hummus, grapes and carrot sticks and ne'er a sticky thing in sight do not a birthday tea make, imo!)

I really don't think it's just teenage boys, though. A great many of the women in my local town seem to be huge - from young girls through to older women. Working women, too. I just think everyone eats too much.

I agree that there is more societal pressure on girls to stay slim, but I also believe a lot of these messages are psychologically damaging. There is a lot of language used around good food and being 'naughty' and this results in, mainly women, going on to have deep rooted issues with food.

It's equally true that the messages to boys to "eat up and grow strong" can be just as damaging.