To ask how you finally tackled emotional eating/general unhealthiness

[JanisNedob]

I'm actually on my third hot chocolate of the day. All I've eaten is a pastry. Major sugar/carb addiction. I'm not massively overweight (because I live off shite rather than substantial meals) but need to clear a good stone. I'm disgustingly unfit. 6 month old baby and older kid, no time to work out.

The thing is, whatever I try, I never ever stick with. I start with great enthusiasm then lose motivation maybe 3-4 weeks in; my old biscuit-scoffing, stress-eating, sofa-blocking ways pull me back. It's like it's my default mode and it's only ever a matter of time before I go back to it - usually as soon as the going gets tough. It's a comfort thing (Chronically frazzled due to lasting effects of traumatic bereavement and general stress)

A better, healthier routine just doesn't come naturally to me. I feel like I'm forcing it.

I am so ashamed to say that this was my diet yesterday

Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: half a cheese panini, almond croissant, latte
Dinner: few bites of kids leftovers (chicken and veg risotto), muffin, latte
Evening: bar of chocolate, hot chocolate, biscuits

So please! how do I make a healthy eating/fitness plan actually stick? How do I make it a habit? I've been unhappy with my weight and fitness levels for 10+ years and I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren!

(Please don't say I have to tackle the root of my emotional eating, as I know this and that is a long-term work in progress!)

I was a MASSIVE carb addict (pun fully intended).

To sum up a very long story, them more I dieted ("healthy low fat diet"), the more I craved carbs, the more I failed at dieting and the fatter I got. For decades.

11 years ago I completely stumbled upon low carb (Atkins then, but the more sensible ancestral eating now. Call that Paleo, Primal or LCHF, pretty much the same thing). I lost over 6 stones, and apart from a couple of blips, have kept it off.

High carb, low fat diets (what most people would call a normal "healthy" modern diet) make a lot of people very hungry all the time, set them up for failure and binge eating.

I recommend giving a primal/Paleo/Lchf diet a couple of months trial, it may well change your life!

It sounds like you are not ready. To loose weight and sustain it you DO need to take drastic action. You are overweight becausw you eat too much of the wrong thing. IF you are serious about loosing weight and I say IF because it does not, from your posts seem that you are then you need to make radical changes and reevaluate how you view food.

I know this seem harsh, I say this as someone who used to be overweight and comfort eat. I started therapy and did the blood sugar diet (michael mosely) and have never looked back. Low carb is in my opinion amazing for emotional eaters. Try it!

What is the best low carb diet to follow?

Hi OP you are pretty much the same height and weight as me. I too like the idea of one month at a a time. Might try mostly sugar free Feb and trying to do some exercise.

its not that I'm not ready or willing - it's that I know myself too well.

at this stage I have been 'ready' 100s of times, really felt 'today is the day' only to fall back into old ways in weeks. I can't sustain the motivation for some reason. The comfort eating response is so deeply ingrained in me that it takes one small thing to have me flinging myself at a family bar of Milka again.

So I need to find a workaround - clearly whatever I've been doing has not worked despite all that initial excitement. And I believe that repeating the same thing and expecting different results is madness - I'm the poster girl for that!

I could say yes, ok, I'll low carb now forever and I might even believe it myself. But I know what would happen in a few weeks. I really do think I need to think long term retraining and as well as addressing the emotional root (which I am doing via counselling), I need to find a way of eating that works for me - even if the weight loss is only 1lb a month (I'd be at my goal weight in a year or so)

I credit two things for helping me overcome my emotional eating issues - 5:2, which helped me realise that being a bit hungry isn't going to kill me and I can actually handle it, and the Paul McKenna book on emotional eating. And also getting support (eg Mumsnet threads). OK, that's three things...

TBF to the OP, for a lot of people, the whole idea of replacing a very high carb, processed diet and increasing fat and protein consumption can be pretty scary.
I was certainly one of those "I couldn't live without bread/pasta" people.

However, I think for a lot of people who are "carb addicts" like me, cutting down gradually of low carbing one meal a day just isn't enough, because you'll continue to get blood sugar swings and cravings. It's better, IMO to go VERY low carb for at least a month (i.e. Less than 20g a day of total carbohydrate), and then increase it a little by little to see what level of carbs starts to lead to cravings (I find I have to keep to 50-70g total carbs a day and that's mostly from green veg and berries, very few starchy things).

Blog sites that I really like include Marksdailyapple, robbwolf, dietdoctor LCHF, and there are plenty of others.

There are differences between them but basically they are all "real food" diets big on green leafy stuff, natural proteins with fat, and more fat (all the tasty stuff!).

My unhealthiness was tackled by me having IBS and therefore having to go on a low fodmap diet.

However, I kept this up for a year and a half and crashed, I've now developed binge eating disorder because I was restricting for too long.

If you don't feel like you could cope with low carb then dont, its not for everyone, I know that personally I couldnt survive in keto and my IBS would be awful with all the fats.

You should look up if it fit your macros, (or IIFYM) its what I'm currently doing. I'm not loosing weight, im bulking, but many people use it to lose weight, even without working out (i sound like a sales person haha!). Its about getting a balance between foods you enjoy, like biscuits, but getting the macronutrients you need as well.

I have home baked oat muffins nearly everyday for example, and a huge pile of pancakes for lunch 2/3 times a week. I also eat alot of "clean" foods too but thats because I genuinely enjoy them and love fruit and vegetables.

I think you are great to know yourself so well and not just jump onto a strict regime

I've been doing a sort of moderate low-carbing and have lost over 3 stone in the last couple of years without really trying. I've been trying to lose weight since I was a teenager and every diet except low carbing made me put on weight.

I'm really lazy about breakfast and lunch - a typical day would be scrambled eggs, cheese and a small amount of fruit (not tropical fruits! Too much sugar!) for breakfast, and a ready meal lentil / chickpea curry from the Asian supermarket for lunch with some peas / sweetcorn / salad.

I cook more elaborate meals for dinner, but I can never be bothered making complicated food for myself. I have nuts, cheese, vegetable sticks or yoghurt for snacks. If I'm out of the house I usually buy some sliced meat and a bag of mixed salad for lunch. Low carbing doesn't have to take a lot of effort. :)

How about Buggyfit, since you have a little one? Or you could just run with the buggy - I see terrifyingly sporty mums doing that sometimes.

I find that I only really respond to very very rigidly writing everything down in a calorie counter - if not regulated then I just eat all the time. Calorie counting does work - I lost 2.5 stone last year! 0.5 came back but I'm working on it

I have been of a similar mindset and am currently halfway through Micheal Moseley's Blood Sugar Diet (there are threads on here about it). I have quite a lot to lose and feel it is retraining my eating habits. I'll go to 5:2 after the initial 8 week period but hoping that'll have cracked the worst of the emotional eating.

If you don't have as much to lose or want a shorter similar thing I think maggiethemagpie's suggestion is great. IMHO you need a sharp shock to change those habits, but if you don't feel able to do that the suggestions of stages sound good.

I think friendlyflicka had a good suggestion: having healthy snacks ready to eat makes a huge difference.

I hear you OP.

I don't think any advice about various diets is going to help TBH. I think you've probably heard / read it all before. You already know what you 'should' be eating: it's being able to stick with that when you are tired / hungry / stressed / have the slightest excuse to revert to type. Ditto all the advice about different activities / sports / etc. How to you make it just part of your life? It's incredibly hard to get out of deep behavioural ruts, willpower is often not enough.

Are you open to reading self-help type books at all? Try Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin: it focuses on changing habits - not just food-related ones, but everything. I haven't managed to implement many of the changes that I want to make yet, but DH has done it really successfully: he's stopped drinking (pretty much), has done C25K and eats far healthier - and has lost around 15kg as a result. It's a bit pop-psy, but she helps you to work out what truly motivates you - and suggests ways to set up new habits that you, personally, are going to respond to positivly, with a view to making changes permanent. It was a real eye-opener for me.

Hi OP - I know it's hard with a 6 month old baby, but are there any practical steps you can take to deal with being frazzled/tired? Bed earlier? Sleep when your baby does? If you are tired, your brain will not be in the best place for a new regime! Anything you can do to be kind to yourself might help with the urge to comfort eat.

Meal plan and making sure you are well stocked with healthy snacks so you can grab something easily rather than resorting to quick sugar boosts. Stop buying biscuits etc. Try and eat a piece of fruit with every meal. Get out and walking every single day.

Work out when your energy low points/ mood dips are during the day and try and build a routine/ eating pattern that helps support them.

Thank you lost and funnily enough, I have the hardback sitting on my bedside table - waiting to be read! I'll dig into it tonight on your recommendation. I didn't know if it would be any good.

My emotional state (due to aforementioned bereavement) can really set me back when I'm trying to be 'good' - it seems sugar is my automatic fallback when I need a lift. Bloody wish it was exercise! So I need to do some major work to retrain myself and make my automatic fallback something healthier or find a way to be more resilient and resistant to comfort eating. Hard though.

Do you need a special buggy for buggy fit?

I love carbs. Love them. But then I developed gestational diabetes and realised how much sugar there is in the wrong types of carbs. I had to go high fat, high protein, low carb (but not no carbs because going into keto would be bad for the baby.

Whilst I didn't lose weight, I only gained 10lb during my whole pregnancy which is essentially the same thing. For me, a day would look like this:

Breakfast: either frozen berries with approved yogurt and squirty cream or scrambled egg with cheese and sausage or porridge with agave nectar

Lunch: warburtons thin with cheese and ham, chicken drumstick and mini baby bell

Snacks: Nairns choc chip or ginger biscuits (lot less sugar) cashew nuts, hummus and peppers, olives

Tea: Lots of protein and low GI carbs like sweet potato, whole meal pasta, basmati rice etc...

No jars, no sauces, be aware of the sugars in everything. I still had chocolate, it it was one dark choc digestive or a fun size pack of buttons. It was hard but it made me re-assess how I ate and what I ate.

Could you start with one thing - maybe committing to eating breakfast every day? Porridge really filled me up, as did protein in a way I never thought fit could.

Good luck. I did it because I had to for the health of my baby but not sure I'd have the willpower to do it if it hadn't been forced on me!!

*Alpro

A few things really worked for me. I did low/slow carb.

I measured and weighed every day and wrote it down. I measured my biceps, my waist, my hips and both thighs. This kept and I saw the results of going slow carb within the first week.

I had a reasonable target and an achievable timescale, and I set monthly targets to show I was on track / keep me motivated

I photographed myself in my underwear front, back & sides. I redid it every month and compared. I could see the difference every time.

I had a cheat day every week. It meant I could save up my cravings and get them all out of the way.

I got a kettlebell and did kettlebell swinging at home two or thee times a week. I did 75 swings which took me about 7 minutes. I'm amazed at how well that worked in melting the fat off me.

Doing this I went from 120kg to 88kg. I've gone back up since, but I caught myself at 110kg and am back being strong again.

I also did a lot of work reframing my relationship with food.

For me it was always my reward, my crutch, my main pleasure really.

Now, 6 days a week, food is just fuel. That was HARD, but in the end it was what made everything else possible.

Try eating when your kids eat and eat exactly what they eat.
You have a healthy diet for them and probably a routine with them too. Saves you time and provides all the benefits of eating as a family together.
I'm sorry for your loss. It's shit isn't it

Merry, there is a boot camp for low carbing on the weight loss section on here which is good. I do Zoe Harcombe as it does allow carbs but mixed with the right foods only.

Low carb can be lower carb too, though. It doesn't need to be extreme.

Swop potatoes, pasta etc for sweet potato, butternut squash, lentil soups etc. Sausage, sweet potato mash and broccoli isn't too far from traditional white potato mash for example.

Small changes add up. It's tough, I know.